JACK and NOAH are sitting together, impatiently waiting to see the ratings for Working As A Family’s premiere.
JACK
I can’t take this any longer! Can we just pretend it premiered to 30 million viewers?
NOAH
The two of us can, but The DC Network will see the real numbers. Best we accept if they’re bad.
JACK
I doubt they’re bad.
NOAH looks at his phone.
NOAH
Top of the hour. Time to check the ratings.
JACK covers his face with his hands.
JACK
I can’t look.
NOAH
You just implied you want to see them.
JACK
I don’t even know what I want. Just...look at them yourself and tell me about them.
NOAH
Got it.
NOAH opens The Guide To TV Ratings and sees the ratings report.
NOAH
Uh...
JACK
Well?
NOAH
Yeah. Not good.
JACK
What’s it say?
NOAH
0.4 Adults 18-49 rating. Less than three million viewers.
JACK
Well, that’ll be a good rating eventually!
NOAH
It’s a terrible rating now, especially for a premiere. We need to figure out the direction of this show. I’m calling Ed.
NOAH calls ED.
ED
What do you want?
NOAH
That’s quite the way to answer the phone. I just wanted to tell you that Working As A Family premiered pretty modestly. As showrunner, I wanted to see what you think about the direction of the show. Should we change it?
ED
I don’t care.
NOAH
What do you mean, you don’t care? You’re the showrunner!
ED
If NBC says to change it then I’ll consider it. Otherwise it is what it is. Bye now.
ED hangs up the phone.
NOAH
So he doesn’t even know what network we’re airing on. But I have an idea: we introduce a girl, do a will-they-won’t-they, and give someone else a kid. What do you think?
JACK
It’s only an episode in. Maybe we should wait in case it’s steady. Plus, who knows what the network thinks about this?
NOAH
We’ll find out later maybe, but The Guide To TV Ratings is not liking it.
JACK
Time for me to pray to the TV gods that it stays steady next week. And God too. That can’t hurt.