Debra sits down in bed next to Whitney.
Whitney: Deb, are you gonna keep on moping? You got swept, it happens to everyone.
Debra: It doesn’t happen to everyone. Angela Watters has never been swept in round one.
Whitney: Angela Watters is over a decade younger than you. She’s got plenty of time to get bounced in her first round!
Debra: That was a nice way of calling me old.
Whitney: It was an attempt to assure you that it’s completely normal for you to not still be at your prime at forty years old.
Debra: I am not forty! My god, what a betrayal!
Whitney: I’m older than you. By six years! I’m not afraid to admit it. It’s a privilege to get to age.
Debra: We’re in our forties, babe. Not our eighties!
Whitney: I’m just saying, still being able to play basketball at an elite level at your age is a blessing! Maybe you don’t have the energy of these kids, but you’re still playing incredibly well. Don’t beat yourself up because of one bad playoff run. You guys have only been playing together as a team since late April! Next year, the magic can happen. This was a trial run. A chemistry test.
Debra: The problem is, I don’t know if there will be a next year for me.
Whitney: You want to retire? My gosh, I thought we’d have to wheel you off that court in a stretcher before you’d ever throw in the towel. I half-expected you to still be playing right until the end.
Debra: This was a great year, I won’t deny it. And I love this sport. But my god, I’ve never been more exhausted after a season than I am right now. I was almost relieved we didn’t drag it out another game, because now, I get to come home and relax! That’s not me! That’s not the DA mentality!
Whitney: I’ll support you no matter what you do. You want to keep playing, keep playing. You want to retire, retire. I more than trust you to make your own decision about your career.
Debra: I really have no idea. I’ve got time, I don’t have to commit to anything, but I wish I knew what way I was leaning. I really don’t. My heart says that I had the most fun I’ve ever had playing, and I’m still really good at basketball, so why not continue. My brain reminds me that I’m in my… god… early forties, and that the decline can come out of nowhere and just hit you. I don’t want to be the player who overstays her welcome. I don’t want people talking about how I should’ve called it a career already while I’m still playing.
Whitney: I don’t think you should consider anyone else’s opinion here. Do what you need to do for yourself.
Debra: I think I do need to consider my team’s opinion.
Whitney: Your team loves you! You’re everyone’s vet. They look up to you!
Debra: I’m not sure you’d say that if you heard how Billings talks to me!
Whitney: She teases you out of love. I’m sure of that. It’s the same way you talk to most of your teammates.
Debra: I guess. I just don’t want to be seen as, like, “the old lady.” I know that’s a little silly, and I know I am old compared to the rest of them, but it’s how I feel.
Whitney: You’re not old to me.
Debra: I mean… being on the team wasn’t the only thing that made you a cougar.
Whitney: Six years, Debra! Not Sixty!
Debra: I’m just saying… of course someone much older than me wouldn’t see me as old.
Whitney: Much older?
Debra: I’ll collect my things and go sleep on the couch.
Meanwhile, at Annie’s apartment…
Annie: I’m so sad we don’t get to play basketball tomorrow.
Aubrey: Well, we can still play basketball. They’re just not going to televise it. Nor will they have any refs.
Annie: Ah, good. I can’t stand them. Bunch of buzzkills.
Aubrey: I’m aware.You discussed this extensively last night.
Annie: You can’t tell me they didn’t cost us the game!
Aubrey: They did, babe. They definitely did. Now, I’m tired. It’s been a long season.
Annie: You’re just gonna go to bed like that? It’s not even eleven!
Aubrey: We’re in my hibernation season.
Annie: Humans don’t hibernate.
Aubrey: They do when they just got off five months of playing professional basketball, and have only two months to go until they get back to playing in a different league.
Annie: You don’t have to play in that league. We make more than enough to just take the time off for ourselves.
Aubrey: Ourselves? You’re talking like we’re a package deal.
Annie: I thought we were. Are we not?
Aubrey: I guess I just didn’t think this far ahead. Me being in Charlotte, you being here in Denver, that would be tough on us.
Annie: I could use some company at the practice facilities!
Aubrey: I mean, coach would keep you company.
Annie: That’s not the same thing.
Aubrey: I’ll consider it. A little change of pace might be nice.
Annie: There you go! Now you’re thinking.
Aubrey: Speaking of thinking, are you thinking about what’s happening tomorrow?
Annie: No, what’s happening tomorrow?
Aubrey: They’re announcing Rookie of the Year.
Annie: Oh! You know I don’t really care about awards.
Aubrey: Oh my god, do not. You know I know you well enough to know that’s not even close to true.
Annie: The awards are nice, sure. But I’d trade them all for actually winning.
Aubrey: We won a hell of a lot more than we did in my rookie season, I’ll tell you that much.
Annie: That’s not exactly hard.
Aubrey: Don’t even!
Annie: I’m just saying… what did you guys win, ten games?
Aubrey: Yes… but there were worse teams!
Annie: One of them coached by a moron tanking to get me.
Aubrey: We weren’t even tanking, we were just that bad.
Annie: See what I mean?
Aubrey: It was still good enough for me to be Rookie of the Year.
Annie: And I’m very proud of you for that.
Aubrey: I have to say, as much as I tease her, the Debra I saw this season is nothing like the Debra I saw last season. Last year, she pretty much seemed done with it all. Still a great player, of course, but her heart wasn’t in it. Not like it was this year. You changed something in her.
Annie: You’re talking about us like we’re Galinda and Elphaba.
Aubrey: I do believe she has been changed for the better.
Annie: Well, because I knew her, I have been changed for good. So I’m excited to keep on playing with he.
Aubrey: More excited than you are to keep playing with me?
Annie: I mean… she’s Debra Andreesi.
Aubrey: Wow! Wrong answer! Maybe I should just go to my place! See who you’re missing most then!
Annie: You know what I mean! She’s a legend!
Aubrey: I know, I just love giving you a hard time.
Annie: I love you.
Aubrey: Are you trying to charm me now?
Annie: No, I just love your laugh.
Aubrey: You sure know a way to a lady’s heart.
Annie: What can I say, I’m quite charming.
The next day…
Celia: Sheryl! Fancy seeing you here!
Sheryl: I work here, Celia.
Celia: Technically, your contract’s not been renewed yet, and the season’s over -
Sheryl: Exit interviews haven’t happened yet, so your empty threat is even more empty.
Celia: Don’t worry, we’re bringing you back.
Sheryl: Ah, now you want to play nice! I don’t know about that. I’m a very sought-after coach.
Celia: There aren’t even any coaching jobs expected to be open next season.
Sheryl: Really? Not even Detroit?
Celia: They’re not gonna fire the owner’s wife!
Sheryl: But she’s so… stupid. She got ejected from a game for being on her cell phone!
Celia: Not everyone can be as brilliant as the woman who survived five straight seasons of failing to be one of ten coaches to lead their team to the playoffs in a league of fifteen.
Sheryl: I won us three championships.
Celia: Anyway, I got a call today.
Sheryl: Oh, interesting.
Celia: Basketball Executive of the Year.
Sheryl: Is whomst?
Celia: Is that a word?
Sheryl: How should I know?
Celia: You’re the one that said it!
Sheryl: So who is the Basketball Executive of the Year?
Celia: Me!
Sheryl: No way!
Celia: Why do you say that?
Sheryl: Well, I’ve seen how this team has been run the last few years…
Celia: Don’t act like you weren’t part of it!
Sheryl: I didn’t say I wasn’t. I’m just surprised they’re handing you Exec of the Year for this season. I don’t mean to disparage the girls, but it’s not like we had any huge roster additions this year, aside from making the obvious #1 pick.
Celia: And who negotiated that #1 pick?
Sheryl: I suppose you’ve got a point.
Celia: Yeah. You’re welcome! My ability to fleece the league’s most incompetently-run team saved the season!
Sheryl: I guess I don’t give you the credit you deserve.
Celia: I appreciate hearing that. I know you see me as a pest -
Sheryl: I do not! I loved working side-by-side with you as your assistant coach. I have great respect for you.
Celia: No coach has ever liked their GM. They want free reign. I get it!
Sheryl: Am I jealous Roberta Roberts has full control of her team? A little. But you and I work very well together, even if I’m not always wowed by all of your decisions.
Celia: Well, the feeling’s mutual there.
Sheryl: What does that mean? You don’t like my coaching?
Celia: We all make mistakes.
Annie: Hey, coach!
Celia: There’s my Rookie of the Year!
Annie: Wait… did I win?
Celia: I just assumed. I know they’re naming the winner today.
Annie: Oh. Well, I haven’t gotten the call.
Sheryl: Still plenty of time in the day! You ready for our workout?
Celia: Is that why you’re here?
Sheryl: Yes, I’m here because our franchise player requested a one-on-one workout. I’m not exactly busy, I’m happy to oblige.
Annie: I’ve always thought, it doesn’t matter how good you are, you can always get better.
Celia: While you’re here, I might as well tell you - and I hope you don’t find it insensitive for me to be saying this while you’re still waiting on word about your award - I just found out I’m the WBL’s Basketball Executive of the Year!
Annie: Oh, wow! Congrats, Celia! I gotta say, it really is great having your veteran leadership on the team. I know you’re not the coach, but I still love learning from you. You have more basketball knowledge than basically anyone I’ve ever met.
Sheryl: More than anyone?
Celia: Yes, Sheryl. Anyone.
Annie: You guys are #1 and #2.
Debra: Whoa, what’s going on here? A party I wasn’t invited to?
Annie: And there’s #3!
Celia: No, the party’s tomorrow, and you were invited.
Debra: Oh, right. I get so confused. You know that.
Celia: Yeah, I sure do.
Sheryl: Annie and I are here for a workout. What brings you here?
Debra: Just here to clear out my locker.
Sheryl: Why the rush? You quitting on me?
Debra: No! Probably not.
Annie: Probably not? You better not be retiring before we get that ring together!
Debra: I’m old, just a lot to consider. But me clearing my locker out has nothing to do with that. I just need to get my shoes and all the other crap I’ve got piled up in there. It was stressing me out, but I didn’t have time to deal with it during the season.
Sheryl: You sure you’re not leaving?
Debra: I don’t think I said that, either. I’m happy to be here, I have no plans for retirement, but I’m not confident I’ll be back. I really want to see how my body feels.
Annie: Well, I really do hope you come back. Playing with you has been an absolute honor. You were my hero growing up, now playing with you… I couldn’t have ever imagined that.
Debra: Are you trying to make me cry?
Sheryl: That would be the first bit of proof that you are, indeed, human.
Annie’s phone rings.
Annie: It’s the commissioner.
Debra: I’ll go work on my locker. You have to take that.
Sheryl: Put her on speaker phone! I want to hear this!
Annie answers her phone.
Cynthia: Is this, uh, Annie Carter?
Annie: Yes, Commissioner Etterton.
Cynthia: Well, on behalf of the WBL, I just wanted to say we are so proud of you for the amazing season you had.
Annie: Thank you, that’s very kind.
Cynthia: I wanted to inform you personally that you are the 2026 WBL, um… Defensive Player of the Year.
Annie: Excuse me?
Sheryl: I don’t know about that one, commish.
Celia: She’s not even announcing that one until tomorrow…
Cynthia: Oh, my goodness! I am so sorry! You are the WBL Rookie of the Year!
Sheryl: That makes more sense.
Annie: Yeah, it sure does. I really am honored.
Cynthia: I also think it would be of great interest to you to know that it was a unanimous decision. All eighty voting members cast their vote for you.
Annie: That’s incredible!
Sheryl: Completely deserved. By the way, uh, commish, how many votes did I get for Coach of the Year? This is Sheryl Wilson, by the way.
Cynthia: Oh, um… zero.
Sheryl: Very well.
Cynthia: Well, I’m gonna let you go, Annie. I have a lot to do today, as you understand.
Annie: Of course. Have a good day!
Annie hangs up.
Annie: Coach, would you mind if I called Aubrey up to tell her the news?
Celia: Is it really “news?”
Annie: My phone’s blowing up. Did the league post it already? I just found out myself, you’d think they’d give me a bit more time before they announced it to the world.
Sheryl: That certainly does seem like something that our esteemed commissioner would do.
Debra: I found out I was MVP on the set of The View.
Sheryl: That was a quick locker cleaning!
Debra: I just shoved everything into a box. But that’s not the important thing. I’m proud of you, kid. I can’t believe my little rookie’s not gonna be a rookie anymore.
Celia: She’d still be a rookie if you guys had just -
Sheryl: Sh! Not the time.
Celia: ah, right. Save it for the exit interviews.
Debra: God, we still gotta do those?
Celia: Yeah. You do.
Debra: You’re not fun.
Celia: You get a party afterwards!
Debra: I do like a party.
The next day…
Sheryl: Debra, Annie, I have a call for you.
Debra: Oh, this should be good.
Carmen: Is this something I’m needed for? Or should I go do my media interview?
Sheryl: Go do your interview. This doesn’t concern you.
Carmen: I don’t like the way that was said.
Melissa: I think coach just called you a loser.
Sheryl: I would never! Never!
Melissa: You called me a loser once.
Sheryl: That was when we played a game of Yahtzee!
Melissa: Still… you said it.
Fiona: I think we should all quiet down and let Debra and Annie answer this phone call. Okay?
Melissa: The rook is getting sassy!
Fiona: I could cut a bitch if I wanted. So don’t try me.
Melissa: Whoa!
Debra: Good for you, rook!
Sheryl: Here you go, ladies. Annie, I think you’ll be feeling deja vu.
Annie: That’s mysterious!
Cynthia: Annie! Debra! I tried getting ahold of you, couldn’t reach either of you. Good thing someone here in my office is tuned in and said you were doing interviews today, so I figured I’d call the team!
Debra: Very, uh… smart.
Cynthia: Thank you! I don’t hear that enough!
Debra: I bet.
Cynthia: Ladies, I’m really excited to get to tell you this. Annie, you have been named to the All-WBL First Team. Debra, you have been named to the All-WBL Second Team!
Debra: Are you serious?
Cynthia: As a heart attack!
Debra: You have such a skill for bringing up the mood.
Annie: Commissioner, I’m really touched to hear that. I never imagined I could -
Cynthia: Well, anyway, I have to go call Sadie Cojocaru, and I gotta brush up on my Romanian before I do that.
Annie: I think she speaks English. In fact, I know she does. We’re good friends.
Debra: Look at you, bragging.
Annie: I’m just trying to -
Cynthia: Okay, bye now!
Melissa: Congratulations!
Aubrey: I’m so proud of you, babe.
Debra: It must be nice to get to celebrate winning with your significant other.
Sheryl: Debra… you won three championships with your wife.
Debra: Let me wallow in peace!
Melissa: I think this calls for breaking out the champagne!
Sheryl: At the party. I don’t need any of your getting drunk and saying anything silly to the media.
Melissa: When would I ever -
Sheryl: Constantly and always.
Debra: Ah, I love this team.
Aubrey: Not as much as I do, granny!
Debra: I even love you, Billings.
Annie: Not as much as I do.
Melissa: How sweet!
Sheryl: I’m gonna miss this.
Aubrey: Next year’s our year. I feel it!
What did you think of the season finale of Foul Play? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the season premiere of Bake Your Heart Out in three weeks! Foul Play will return next year for season two!
