ROBERT, ACE, LORENZO, BRYAN, VICTOR, MANNY, and HARRY are all in the Indianapolis Primitives bullpen.
ROBERT
Well, it looks like we have a new bench.
BRYAN
You call that a bench? That’s barely a block of wood!
MANNY
It’ll have to do for now. We’re lucky we got anything.
HARRY
At least there’s no grill.
MANNY
Harry, with all due respect, what are you even doing here without anything to grill?
LORENZO
HARRY IS STAYING AND THAT’S FINAL!
MANNY
I see.
ACE
You know it’s kinda funny, I would’ve thought they’d put the new bench where the old bench was and not in the warm-up area.
VICTOR
Maybe they don’t want us warming up.
ACE
No, that can’t be it…can it?
BRYAN
Sounds about right to me.
MANNY
It’d actually be a good move on their part.
HARRY
You idiots, they only put it there because that way they don’t have to move it for when they put in the regular new bench.
ROBERT
I don’t know, I’m kind of getting the feeling that this IS the regular bench.
LORENZO
Better not be, I need a comfortable bench.
VICTOR
Who knows, maybe it is comfortable.
LORENZO
Does that look comfortable to you?
VICTOR
Not exactly.
LORENZO
Me neither.
MANNY
No point in standing here, let’s sit down!
MANNY, HARRY, ROBERT, ACE, BRYAN, and VICTOR all sit down on the bench.
ROBERT
You know what? This isn’t THAT bad!
BRYAN
What are you waiting for, Lorenzo?
LORENZO
Fine.
LORENZO sits on the bench. It splits in two, and everyone tumbles onto the ground.
Everyone is silent for a few seconds, then bursts out into laughter.
MANNY
I gotta tell Jason about THIS!
MANNY goes to the bullpen phone.
MANNY
Anyone have the number to the dugout?
ROBERT
Our phone can’t make calls to the dugout, even I know that.
MANNY
Guess I’ll have to get him myself.
MANNY runs onto the field and into the dugout, grabs JASON’s arm and drags him to the bullpen.
JASON
What is it?! This better be good!
MANNY
Oh it’s good alright.
JASON
YOU BURNED DOWN ANOTHER BENCH?!
HARRY
Hey, I had nothing to do with this one.
LORENZO
Actually your weight partially contributed to its downfall.
JASON
Huh?
MANNY [while laughing]
We were all sitting on this new block of wood that you call a bench and then when Lorenzo sat on it too it broke and we all fell onto the ground.
LORENZO
I actually got a bruise on my pitching arm.
ACE
I think I twisted my ankle.
ACE tries to walk.
ACE
Yep, definitely twisted it.
VICTOR
My knee kinda hurts from slamming into Bryan’s knee, come to think of it.
BRYAN
Yeah, same.
ROBERT
I took a hard fall on my bottom. That probably won’t affect my pitching for the worse, but it certainly won’t make it any better either.
JASON
Perfect!!!
HARRY
Wait…what?!
JASON
I can place all you guys on the Injured List and focus on the real baseball players now! Right in time for playoffs too! Oh this is a blessing in disguise! Sorry about your bench by the way.
MANNY
You can’t just kick my guys out of the bullpen!!
JASON
Stay in here all you want, you just might be getting some visitors. Later, injured players.
JASON jogs back to the dugout.
MANNY
Can you believe this?!
LORENZO
Guaranteed no play time!
MANNY
Well that’s one way to look at it I guess. What do you say we all leave?
Everyone leaves.