LORENZO, ADAM, LINCOLN, REAGAN, CHASE, SAM, and MADISON are all sitting in the House chamber.
LINCOLN
I hate people.
ADAM
That’s a random thing to say.
LINCOLN
Fine, I don’t REALLY hate people, but some are just crazy.
SAM
Lincoln could be onto something. Whenever I go out of state I feel like I’m in an entire different country.
REAGAN
Same here. Although, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
MADISON
Yeah, are you really all hating on your constituents?
SAM
No! Just commenting as to how this state is...unique.
LINCOLN
It almost feels like a different country.
SAM
I already said that.
LINCOLN
Oh. My point still stands.
SAM
As state legislatures, does anyone know if we have the power to...you know...
LORENZO
Do I?
SAM
No, I mean...could we...
CHASE
What?
SAM [quietly]
I don’t want to say it in case someone overhears.
ADAM
Indiana can’t be its own country, Sam.
SAM
How did you know I was thinking that?! Well, that’s too bad.
LINCOLN
We could try, though.
SAM
What do you mean?
LINCOLN
Write a bill. Propose Indiana ditch America.
SAM
Really?
LINCOLN
I’d join you with it.
REAGAN
Same with me. Anyone else?
CHASE, LORENZO, ADAM, and MADISON are all silent.
SAM
Fine. Let’s try it.
SAM, LINCOLN, and REAGAN sit down together to write a bill proposing Indiana become its own country.
LINCOLN
What should we call this? Indianaland Act?
SAM
I like Indianaville better.
REAGAN
How about Indianapolis?
LINCOLN
You mean...the city?
SAM
Could we do something more generic? Immigration Borders Act?
REAGAN
Sure. Let’s put something in this bill now.
LINCOLN
Does it have to be long? It’s pretty self explanatory.
SAM
Alright, here goes: ‘We hereby propose Indiana becomes its own country, exiting the United States of America.’
REAGAN
That sounds great!
LINCOLN
I think it’s detailed enough.
SAM, REAGAN, and LINCOLN submit the Immigration Borders Act for debate.
FIRST REPRESENTATIVE TO SPEAK
So let me get this straight: you three want Indiana to become its own country?
LINCOLN
That’s right.
FIRST REPRESENTATIVE TO SPEAK
That’s the most ridiculous bill I’ve ever had to vote on. I’m in.
SECOND REPRESENTATIVE TO SPEAK
This is a genius bill. Finally, Indiana will be able to show the federal government we don’t need its money.
THIRD REPRESENTATIVE TO SPEAK
Yeah, stick it to the big guy!
FOURTH REPRESENTATIVE TO SPEAK
Well done, you three. Well done.
SAM [to REAGAN]
Is this actually gonna pass?
REAGAN [to SAM]
Seems so. Should we do something about it?
SAM [to REAGAN]
Probably. But it would be fun to be the founder of a brand new country.
SPEAKER
Alright, I’m running late for my thing that I have to do so let’s wrap things up and have the vote now.
LORENZO
What thing?
SPEAKER
I have a pre-occupation.
LORENZO
What is it?
SPEAKER
Alright everyone, let’s vote.
LORENZO
I want to know what you have to do!
MADISON runs over to LORENZO.
MADISON [to LORENZO]
Just vote.
The Immigration Borders Act fails, 48-52.
LINCOLN
Well, I guess we won’t be the founders of a country now.
REAGAN
Let’s face it. If the Senate didn’t knock down that bill, the Governor would have. Right?
SAM
I wouldn’t be so sure about that.
The SPEAKER approaches LINCOLN, REAGAN, and SAM.
SPEAKER
Making Indiana its own country? What got into you?
SAM
You know, we just thought-
SPEAKER
My one reservation is the name. I would call it Countryland.
REAGAN
Countryland?
SPEAKER
Yeah. No possibility for controversy there. Nice try, you three.
The SPEAKER leaves.
REAGAN
Was she being sarcastic?
LINCOLN
I hope not. But I’m leaving. We’re the only three people left here.
REAGAN and SAM leave behind him.