College S3 Ep 22
Written by
William Fry & Michael Ledesma
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Andrew, Edison, and Sarah eat breakfast at the dining table.
EDISON
Damn it, I’m out of battery. Can I use your charger?
ANDREW
I loaned it to Megan.
Edison gets up and goes to Megan’s door. He knocks.
EDISON
Megan, I need Andrew’s charger.
There is no answer. Edison opens the door and walks in. Megan and Paige are in bed together. The two cover themselves with sheets.
MEGAN
Edison!
Edison rushes out of Megan’s room and slams the door. He walks back to the kitchen in a daze.
ANDREW
Are you okay?
EDISON
No.
Andrew stands up and walks over to Edison.
ANDREW
Dude, what’s wrong?
EDISON
I-I just saw-
Megan walks in wearing nothing but shorts and a T-Shirt. She is joined by Paige.
ANDREW
Um… what?
MEGAN
I need to tell you two something.
Megan motions to the couch. Edison and Andrew take a seat.
MEGAN
As you can see, Paige and I are together.
ANDREW
Like friends with benefits or…
MEGAN
We're a couple.
ANDREW
Oh.
Andrew turns to Sarah.
ANDREW
Did you know about this?
SARAH
Yes.
ANDREW
Why didn’t you tell me?
SARAH
Why didn’t you tell your parents about me?
ANDREW
Okay. Low blow, but fair.
Edison is still in a semi-daze.
MEGAN
Edison? Edison I know this might be a shock to you.
ANDREW
One of his best friends sleeping with his ex. Why wouldn't he be? You should have told us sooner.
MEGAN
Edison, I’m sorry but… you do realize why I didn’t tell you.
Edison doesn’t answer.
MEGAN
Edison, please be okay with this.
PAIGE
Who cares if he’s not. He shouldn’t determine who you date.
MEGAN
Edison?
EDISON
Are you two happy?
Megan looks at Paige and they smile at each other. She looks back at Edison.
MEGAN
Yes. I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time.
EDISON
Then I wish nothing but good fortune for you two.
Pause.
ANDREW
What the fuck! No, there is no way you are being so cool and mature about this.
EDISON
Megan is one of my best friends and I want her to be happy. And the way I treated Paige, she deserves to be happy too.
MEGAN
Thank you so much, Edison.
ANDREW
There’s no way all of you are falling for this!
SARAH
Andrew, enough.
ANDREW
-But it’s Edison!
EDISON
Andrew, can I talk to you in your room?
Andrew and Edison get up and enter Andrew’s room. Andrew closes the door behind him.
EDISON
We gotta break them up.
ANDREW
What? I thought you were being supportive?
EDISON
Supportive? Andrew, one of my best friends is dating my ex-girlfriend. That can’t be a thing. Which is why you and I are gonna break them up.
ANDREW
I’m not helping you break Megan and Paige up. You're supposed to be happy for them?
EDISON
Happy! Happy!
Edison punches the wall creating a hole.
ANDREW
Edison this is my room!
EDISON
Whoops, sorry.
Andrew and Edison rejoin the others in the living room.
MEGAN
Everything all right?
EDISON
Everything is great. Just great.
MEGAN
Cool.
Megan turns to Paige.
MEGAN
Wanna get breakfast?
PAIGE
Sounds good.
Megan and Paige kiss. Edison’s eye twitches a little.
Later…
EXT. CAMPUS - DAY
Andrew is reading a textbook on a bench. Edison runs up to him.
EDISON
Andrew, I figured it out.
ANDREW
Don’t you have a class right now?
EDISON
This is more important. I have a plan to break up Megan and Paige.
ANDREW
Again, I’m not going to help you.
EDISON
Why do I even bother telling you I have a plan when you’re just gonna say no.
ANDREW
I’ve often had the same exact thought.
Edison storms off.
INT. DINER - DAY
Megan and Paige sit across from each other.
MEGAN
You know, I’m really surprised how well Edison took the news.
PAIGE
I know. Now we don't have to sneak around anymore.
MEGAN
That’s right. But you know, now that I think about it, he took the news a little too well.
SAMANTHA
Megan?
Samantha walks over to Megan.
MEGAN
What the hell are you doing here?
SAMANTHA
You asked to meet me here. You wanted to talk about getting back together. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a long time. I think I’m ready for something serious.
PAIGE
What?
MEGAN
I never said any of that. Samantha, you and I are done. Like, I don’t ever want to see or talk to you again.
SAMANTHA
But your texts sounded genuine.
MEGAN
What texts?
Samantha pulls out her phone and shows it to Megan.
MEGAN
That son of a-
Megan gets up from the booth. Paige also gets up. She turns to Megan.
PAIGE
I know what you did. Stay away from her.
SAMATHA
Who are you?
PAIGE
I’m her girlfriend.
Paige follows Megan out the door.
INT. APARTMENT - EVENING
Andrew and Edison sit on the couch watching TV. The door bursts open and Megan barges in followed by Paige.
MEGAN
You son of a bitch. You’ve done a lot of shitty things, but you've hit a new low.
ANDREW
Megan, what’s-
MEGAN
Edison here texted Samantha from my phone saying I wanted to get back together.
Andrew looks over at Edison.
ANDREW
You didn’t.
MEGAN
Oh yes, he did. Why Edison? Why can’t you allow me to be happy? I thought you were okay with this.
EDISON
Okay? How can I be okay with one of my best friends dating an ex of mine? Megan, I’m sure there are other women out there. Probably better than her.
Megan slaps Edison. There is a deafening silence in the room.
EDISON
You slapped me.
MEGAN
No, I didn’t slap you. I bitch slapped you and I’ll do it again!
ANDREW
Hey guys, why don’t we calm down a bit?
EDISON
No Andrew, this needs to be settled. Equal rights, equal fight!
Edison slaps Megan. Megan lets out a battle cry and tackles Edison to the ground. The two roll across the floor hitting each other.
ANDREW
Guys stop it!
PAIGE
Get him, babe! Tear him to shreds.
Edison and Megan continue wrestling.
MEGAN
Paige, get my taser!
Paige runs into Megan’s room and returns holding her taser.
ANDREW
No one is tasing anyone.
Andrew reaches for the taser. The taser goes off and the electrified tongs hit Andrew. He falls to the ground twitching.
PAIGE
Holy shit! I’m so sorry, the trigger was really light-
Megan gets a hold of Edison and stands up. She lifts Edison in the air and body slams him on the coffee table, shattering it. Megan stands over Edison who is breathing deeply and gasping for air.
EDISON
No more. Please, no more.
MEGAN
Is there something you wanna say?
EDISON
I’m… I’m sorry.
MEGAN
Don’t say it to me, say it to Paige.
Paige walks over to Megan and puts her arm around her.
EDISON
I’m sorry Paige. I’m sorry to both of you.
MEGAN
Now I know all this is a shock to you. But you are going to have to just deal with it. Just because your love life is in the toilet, doesn't mean you have to ruin other people's relationships.
Edison nods. Megan extends her hands and helps him up.
EDISON
Are we good?
MEGAN
Yeah. We’re good.
(To Paige)
Wanna go see a movie?
Paige smiles and nods. The couple leaves.
Edison sits on the couch.
EDISON
I honestly didn’t think she was that strong.
Andrew is still twitching on the ground.
ANDREW
I-I th-think it’s a lesbian th-thing.
EDISON
Probably.
END.