College Season 3 Episode 22: Interpersonal Relationship Studies

                                                                         

                                                                        College S3 Ep 22

Written by

William Fry & Michael Ledesma


INT. APARTMENT - DAY

Andrew, Edison, and Sarah eat breakfast at the dining table.

EDISON

Damn it, I’m out of battery. Can I use your charger?

ANDREW

I loaned it to Megan.

Edison gets up and goes to Megan’s door. He knocks.

EDISON

Megan, I need Andrew’s charger.

There is no answer. Edison opens the door and walks in. Megan and Paige are in bed together. The two cover themselves with sheets.

MEGAN

Edison!

Edison rushes out of Megan’s room and slams the door. He walks back to the kitchen in a daze.

ANDREW

Are you okay?

EDISON

No.

Andrew stands up and walks over to Edison.

ANDREW

Dude, what’s wrong?

EDISON

I-I just saw-

Megan walks in wearing nothing but shorts and a T-Shirt. She is joined by Paige.

ANDREW

Um… what?

MEGAN

I need to tell you two something.

Megan motions to the couch. Edison and Andrew take a seat.

MEGAN

As you can see, Paige and I are together.

ANDREW

Like friends with benefits or…

MEGAN

We're a couple.

ANDREW

Oh.

Andrew turns to Sarah.

ANDREW

Did you know about this?

SARAH

Yes.

ANDREW

Why didn’t you tell me?

SARAH

Why didn’t you tell your parents about me?

ANDREW

Okay. Low blow, but fair.

Edison is still in a semi-daze.

MEGAN

Edison? Edison I know this might be a shock to you.

ANDREW

One of his best friends sleeping with his ex. Why wouldn't he be? You should have told us sooner.

MEGAN

Edison, I’m sorry but… you do realize why I didn’t tell you.

Edison doesn’t answer.

MEGAN

Edison, please be okay with this.

PAIGE

Who cares if he’s not. He shouldn’t determine who you date.

MEGAN

Edison?

EDISON

Are you two happy?

Megan looks at Paige and they smile at each other. She looks back at Edison.

MEGAN

Yes. I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time.

EDISON

Then I wish nothing but good fortune for you two.

Pause.

ANDREW

What the fuck! No, there is no way you are being so cool and mature about this.

EDISON

Megan is one of my best friends and I want her to be happy. And the way I treated Paige, she deserves to be happy too.

MEGAN

Thank you so much, Edison.

ANDREW

There’s no way all of you are falling for this!

SARAH

Andrew, enough.

ANDREW

-But it’s Edison!

EDISON

Andrew, can I talk to you in your room?

Andrew and Edison get up and enter Andrew’s room. Andrew closes the door behind him.

EDISON

We gotta break them up.

ANDREW

What? I thought you were being supportive?

EDISON

Supportive? Andrew, one of my best friends is dating my ex-girlfriend. That can’t be a thing. Which is why you and I are gonna break them up.

ANDREW

I’m not helping you break Megan and Paige up. You're supposed to be happy for them?

EDISON

Happy! Happy!

Edison punches the wall creating a hole.

ANDREW

Edison this is my room!

EDISON

Whoops, sorry.

Andrew and Edison rejoin the others in the living room.

MEGAN

Everything all right?

EDISON

Everything is great. Just great.

MEGAN

Cool.

Megan turns to Paige.

MEGAN

Wanna get breakfast?

PAIGE

Sounds good.

Megan and Paige kiss. Edison’s eye twitches a little.

Later…

EXT. CAMPUS - DAY

Andrew is reading a textbook on a bench. Edison runs up to him.

EDISON

Andrew, I figured it out.

ANDREW

Don’t you have a class right now?

EDISON

This is more important. I have a plan to break up Megan and Paige.

ANDREW

Again, I’m not going to help you.

EDISON

Why do I even bother telling you I have a plan when you’re just gonna say no.

ANDREW

I’ve often had the same exact thought.

Edison storms off.

INT. DINER - DAY

Megan and Paige sit across from each other.

MEGAN

You know, I’m really surprised how well Edison took the news.

PAIGE

I know. Now we don't have to sneak around anymore.

MEGAN

That’s right. But you know, now that I think about it, he took the news a little too well.

SAMANTHA

Megan?

Samantha walks over to Megan.

MEGAN

What the hell are you doing here?

SAMANTHA

You asked to meet me here. You wanted to talk about getting back together. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a long time. I think I’m ready for something serious.

PAIGE

What?

MEGAN

I never said any of that. Samantha, you and I are done. Like, I don’t ever want to see or talk to you again.

SAMANTHA

But your texts sounded genuine.

MEGAN

What texts?

Samantha pulls out her phone and shows it to Megan.

MEGAN

That son of a-

Megan gets up from the booth. Paige also gets up. She turns to Megan.

PAIGE

I know what you did. Stay away from her.

SAMATHA

Who are you?

PAIGE

I’m her girlfriend.

Paige follows Megan out the door.

INT. APARTMENT - EVENING

Andrew and Edison sit on the couch watching TV. The door bursts open and Megan barges in followed by Paige.

MEGAN

You son of a bitch. You’ve done a lot of shitty things, but you've hit a new low.

ANDREW

Megan, what’s-

MEGAN

Edison here texted Samantha from my phone saying I wanted to get back together.

Andrew looks over at Edison.

ANDREW

You didn’t.

MEGAN

Oh yes, he did. Why Edison? Why can’t you allow me to be happy? I thought you were okay with this.

EDISON

Okay? How can I be okay with one of my best friends dating an ex of mine? Megan, I’m sure there are other women out there. Probably better than her.

Megan slaps Edison. There is a deafening silence in the room.

EDISON

You slapped me.

MEGAN

No, I didn’t slap you. I bitch slapped you and I’ll do it again!

ANDREW

Hey guys, why don’t we calm down a bit?

EDISON

No Andrew, this needs to be settled. Equal rights, equal fight!

Edison slaps Megan. Megan lets out a battle cry and tackles Edison to the ground. The two roll across the floor hitting each other.

ANDREW

Guys stop it!

PAIGE

Get him, babe! Tear him to shreds.

Edison and Megan continue wrestling.

MEGAN

Paige, get my taser!

Paige runs into Megan’s room and returns holding her taser.

ANDREW

No one is tasing anyone.

Andrew reaches for the taser. The taser goes off and the electrified tongs hit Andrew. He falls to the ground twitching.

PAIGE

Holy shit! I’m so sorry, the trigger was really light-

Megan gets a hold of Edison and stands up. She lifts Edison in the air and body slams him on the coffee table, shattering it. Megan stands over Edison who is breathing deeply and gasping for air.

EDISON

No more. Please, no more.

MEGAN

Is there something you wanna say?

EDISON

I’m… I’m sorry.

MEGAN

Don’t say it to me, say it to Paige.

Paige walks over to Megan and puts her arm around her.

EDISON

I’m sorry Paige. I’m sorry to both of you.

MEGAN

Now I know all this is a shock to you. But you are going to have to just deal with it. Just because your love life is in the toilet, doesn't mean you have to ruin other people's relationships.

Edison nods. Megan extends her hands and helps him up.

EDISON

Are we good?

MEGAN

Yeah. We’re good.

(To Paige)

Wanna go see a movie?

Paige smiles and nods. The couple leaves.

Edison sits on the couch.

EDISON

I honestly didn’t think she was that strong.

Andrew is still twitching on the ground.

ANDREW

I-I th-think it’s a lesbian th-thing.

EDISON

Probably.

END.

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