Bar Exam Season 3 Episode 14: Climate Change Education Act

ADAM, SAM, MADISON, CHASE, LINCOLN, and REAGAN are all in the House chamber. 

ADAM

Is anyone else really hot?


REAGAN

It’s super hot outside and there’s no air conditioning in here, so I am. 


MADISON
Why is it even so hot? It’s only April!


CHASE
I don’t mind it. I’m tired of wearing a winter coat. 


SAM
You wore a winter coat on the way here. 


CHASE
How do you suppose I would know it was hot out? 


SAM

By going outside? Sorry, I’m a little irritated right now. I think the hot weather is getting to me. 


LORENZO walks in.


LORENZO
SUMMER IS HERE, EVERYONE!!!


MADISON
At least someone’s excited about this. 


LORENZO
Summer means baseball which means bullpen which means food!


LINCOLN
Hate to break it to you Lorenzo, but it’s not actually summer. 


LORENZO
Feels like it. 


REAGAN
Don’t expect it to last long. Tomorrow’s supposed to be colder. 


CHASE
Climate change at its finest. 


LORENZO
All I know is Harry’s loving this weather. He texted me to say he’s gonna take a long drive until he finds a beach. 


ADAM

Harry doesn’t realize climate change is an actual thing that’s happening. Or at least, I’m told it’s happening. 


MADISON

If this is climate change, I’m having none of it. 


REAGAN
We should do something about it. 


SAM
How do you suppose that happens? We’re no scientists. 


REAGAN
No, but we’re politicians. 


LINCOLN

You’re not really going to attempt to perform a scientific miracle by writing a bill are you?


REAGAN
Why not?


LINCOLN
Well, good luck. I’ll let the scientists handle it. 


LORENZO 

Same. I’m headed outside now to get some fresh air, I’ll be back when I’m back. 


LORENZO leaves the chamber. 


REAGAN

Who wants to join me in fixing climate change?


ADAM
I’ll do it. 


CHASE

Me too. I’m tired of not knowing what the weather is. 


MADISON

I’ll help. Or try, at least. 


REAGAN

Let’s get to it!


ADAM

There’s just one holdup: I think more representatives than not don’t vote for climate change bills. 


MADISON
They do vote for education bills, though. 


REAGAN
Guys! This is a climate change bill. Get with me here. 


CHASE

Let’s combine them. Disguise this as an education bill. Then it’ll pass. 


REAGAN
Fine. Let’s propose that any new schools be built in energy-efficient ways. 


MADISON
They won’t build new schools unless we make them. Add in that new schools have to be built. 


CHASE
That’s not enough for the climate though...what do climate activists like?


ADAM
Trees. 


CHASE
Perfect! Let’s plant trees around the schools. 


MADISON
So you mean, put new trees in woods that don’t currently exist?


CHASE
Yep. 


REAGAN
Worth a shot. 


REAGAN, MADISON, CHASE, and ADAM present the Climate Change Education Act to the floor. After a very short and uneventful debate, the bill is passed 71-28. 


SPEAKER

The bill passes, 71-28. Representative—uh—


LORENZO comes running back into the chamber.


LORENZO
Here I am! What’d I miss!


SPEAKER
Just a vote on a bill. Don’t worry, it wasn’t a close vote. 


LORENZO
I still want to vote on it. What is it?


SPEAKER
A few of your friends want to plant trees around schools. They also want to force the state into building schools. Pretty stupid if you ask me but—


LORENZO

I don’t think it’s stupid. It’s a great idea!


SPEAKER
So you’ll help in the efforts to plant the trees and build the schools?


LORENZO
Will there be food involved?


SPEAKER
Not that I’m aware of. 


LORENZO
Then I will respectfully have to vote No on this bill out of fairness to the people who would carry out the actions proposed in the bill. 


SPEAKER
The bill still passes. 


LORENZO
Can we have a revote?


The representatives vote on if there should be a revote. It fails, 1-99. 


LORENZO
Oh well. I’m gonna get some fresh air again, anyone up for it?


SPEAKER

Session dismissed. 

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