Marietta is sitting in her office alone.
Tammy: Marietta, you’ve been in there all week completely silent. You haven’t held any meetings, you haven’t come out to talk with us, you haven’t gone to lunch, you haven’t even taken any calls. It’s Thursday and you’ve been like this for four days straight. You look so forlorn and lost and Amy and I are both worried about you.
Marietta: Were you saying something? I was listening to music.
Tammy: You talked!
Marietta: Of course I did. I’m not mute.
Tammy: You haven’t said anything all week and you locked yourself in your office. It was scaring me.
Marietta: I’ve had a rough few days. I feel like I’ll never love again. It weighs a lot on a person.
Tammy: I know. I understand why you feel this way. Sometimes friends can help you feel better.
Marietta: You’re not wrong, but I really didn’t feel like socializing. I’m getting better now.
Tammy: You loved him, didn’t you.
Marietta: No. I love him. Always will. I just don’t want to be married to him. The hurt is because I know that I’ll never be with him ever again. We can stay friends, but it won’t be the same. I broke his heart. That’s hard to live with.
Tammy: You only told him how you felt. That broke his heart, yes, but that’s better than lying to him and getting right back into that old situation you just got out of. You weren’t happy being married, all you did was tell him that you weren’t ready to jump back into it. There’s no use being sad about it. If I felt sad every time I made someone feel bad, I’d always be sad. Let’s be real here. I abuse Amy. She cries a lot at work. I don’t let it get me down.
Marietta: The first part of that was very heartfelt and then it went to crap. It did make me laugh, though.
Amy: It didn’t make me laugh!
Tammy: Amy! What are you doing here?
Amy: My desk is ten feet away and you have the door open.
Tammy: That would explain it.
Amy: Marietta, I know you’re sad -
Marietta: I’m getting past it!
Amy: I know you’re sad, but Governor Sharon Morgan from South Dakota wants to meet with you tomorrow. Can you swing it?
Marietta: No, I don’t play on the swings any more, I’m nearing sixty.
Amy: You know what I meant!
Marietta: Yes, I’ll meet with her. What it’s about, I have no idea, but I’ll meet with her.
Amy: I’ll go tell her.
Marietta: I mean, really, what else am I doing? Marissa’s on vacation, so I can’t do anything with the city council. I don’t want to be seen in public. This is my best option. Use your brain next time, Amy.
Amy: Will do.
Tammy: Hey! Being mean to Amy is my job! Amy, you’re an idiot!
Amy: I know.
The next day…
Amy: Marietta, Governor Morgan is here.
Tammy: Marietta’s very busy right now.
Marietta: No, I’m not! Come on in, Governor Morgan. Pardon me, I’m just finishing up my lunch.
Sharon: We all have to eat, don’t we?
Marietta: We sure do. Have you eaten today? I can get Amy to run and get you something. Anything.
Sharon: No, I’m good. I stopped in for a beignet on my way here to tide myself over until later. They’re surprisingly light!
Marietta: If they’re made right, they are.
Sharon: I’m so glad you agreed to meet with me. I got worried because your assistant told me you hadn’t been taking any meetings in a few days.
Marietta: I wasn’t. Not by choice, though. No one wanted to see me. I’m the mayor of New Orleans and no one was even interested in dropping by for a chat. Can you believe that?
Sharon: I’m the Governor of South Dakota. Democrats in my state are outnumbered by Presidents carved into the side of a mountain. Most of my meetings are just a bunch of people yelling at me and calling me an idiot.
Marietta: A lot of people here think I’m an idiot, too. That’s a problem I should probably work on.
Sharon: I know you’re busy, so I’m gonna jump right into this.
Marietta: That’s my favorite type of meeting. One where they don’t drag out their one single point for an hour.
Sharon: I’m happy to wrap this one up quickly. I am here today to ask you to make a great sacrifice on behalf of the greater good.
Marietta: I choose Amy.
Sharon: Not a human sacrifice!
Marietta: Please don’t tell Amy.
Sharon: You may or may not know this, but I’m the chair of the Democratic Governors Association. I want to ask you to consider a bid for Governor of Louisiana. As you know, Governor Birkman isn’t eligible to seek another term.
Marietta: I may have heard that, yes.
Sharon: The Democratic bench here in Louisiana isn’t very deep. I’m sure you know that, too.
Marietta: Every major Democrat here that isn’t Eileen is named “Landfield!”
Sharon: Yeah. Obviously we can’t ask your brother since his Senate seat is so important. We thought that Louisiana Attorney General Jackenrow was going to run, but then he announced last week he wasn’t going to run due to family matters. Usually we’d just run the Lieutenant Governor and hope for the best, but your state’s a bit different and you elected a Republican LG because that’s a separate election. So, you are clearly our best candidate.
Marietta: Wow, you really buttered me up.
Sharon: Trust me, I truly do want you to run. You’d be a great candidate. I just didn’t think the urgency of your candidacy would’ve hit you if I didn’t frame it like that, you know?
Marietta: So you want me to run for Governor?
Sharon: I see a lot of similarities between us. We’re both from red states. You’re a mayor, I was a mayor. We’re both women who want to help other women and vulnerable people make the best lives possible. I know you can win. I don’t think anyone else can. Not your brother, not some random state legislator, certainly not a no-name person whose only qualification is being able to raise a filing fee. I think you should consider this. You can do so much good as governor.
Marietta: I would need to think about it. When do you need to know?
Sharon: The filing deadline is in two months. I wouldn’t wait until then, but you can. It’s all up to you.
Marietta: I’ll have to think about it. I swore I’d never run again statewide. It’s hard.
Sharon: I get that, running in a state that doesn’t favor you politically is far from easy. Talk to your folks about it, talk to your son, you husba-
Marietta: Don’t say that word. Still stings!
Sharon: I’m sorry.
Marietta: It’s not your fault. I wouldn’t guess that you guys read the New Orleans gossip rags up in South Dakota.
Sharon: We don’t even have newspapers there.
Marietta: Really? That bad?
Sharon: Of course not! It’s South Dakota, not 47 AD.
Marietta: I’m sure you need to get going, but I have a question first.
Sharon: Fire away.
Marietta: Is being governor like being mayor?
Sharon: I guess. You’re the chief executive of a jurisdiction and you have to sign laws and can issue executive orders and you need to make a ton of seemingly unimportant public appearances that you’re not interested in.
Marietta: Oh, I’ve been doing that my whole career. Shouldn’t be an issue for me! Thanks for painting a better picture of what I’d need to do if I jump into this.
Sharon: Happy to help. Now I’d better get going. I booked a food tour in the French Quarter and it leaves in a half hour. I hope to hear from you soon with good news.
Marietta: Lovely meeting you! I’ll talk to you real soon.
Sharon leaves. Tammy and Amy rush in.
Tammy: Soooooo… what did she want?
Marietta: You two weren’t listening at the door? That’s some growth for you two. Good job, guys.
Amy: We were, we just couldn’t make out any of the words.
Tammy: You’re an idiot, Amy. A big, stupid idiot.
Amy: Does she want to put your face on Mount Rushmore?
Marietta: What? Why would she want to do that?
Amy: It was a joke. I don’t know anything else about South Dakota.
Tammy: No one does.
Marietta: She is the chair of the Democratic Governors Association and she wants me to run for Governor of Louisiana.
Amy: Oh my god, are we going to Baton Rouge.
Marietta: Well, I’d have to win first.
Amy: Oh, yeah. Right.
Tammy: Amy, surely you can remember the last time Marietta won something. When she destroyed you in the mayoral race and you forced yourself into her administration.
Amy: Look at the City Council, Tammy. You’d also do anything in your power to get the hell away from those people. It worked out well for us, didn’t it?
Tammy: We are a family. A dysfunctional one, but that’s what’s fun about us!
Marietta: Are you guys entirely uninterested in my potential career move?
Tammy: Of course we care, we just have short attention spans. Look at poor Amy. All it takes is a shiny object to distract her.
Amy: That’s not true, and I find it hurtful.
Tammy: I’m sorry.
Amy: Thank you.
Marietta: Can we talk about me running for governor?
Amy: Are you doing it?
Marietta: It could be a great opportunity for me. I could do a lot of good in that position.
Tammy: So… are we good here? Can I get back to work?
Marietta: What is it that you do, actually?
Tammy: That’s low.
Marietta: We’re not good here! I’m conflicted!
Tammy: About?
Marietta: We all know how I hate campaigning.
Tammy: Yes, all good politicians are known for the hatred of doing the one thing that can keep them in office.
Marietta: A lot of us don’t like it! You know that!
Tammy: Yes. A bunch of my senators lose re-election because they refused to campaign. You weren’t one of them. You lost because this state we live in finally realized you were a progressive Democrat and not a little hardline conservative southern belle like Betty Benoit.
Marietta: That’s my point. I campaigned hard and still lost just because of my party. This could be a fool’s errand.
Amy: You know what was a fool’s errand?
Marietta: What?
Amy: When I first ran for office. I ran against a thirty-year incumbent who was an institution of New Orleans politics. Everyone in the city knew and loved her. I ran because I thought I could make a difference, and it worked out.
Tammy: Amy…
Amy: Yes?
Tammy: Wasn’t the incumbent your grandmother?
Amy: I don’t see how that’s relevant, but yes.
Tammy: I don’t know if primarying your elderly grandmother is as inspirational of an origin story as you think it is.
Marietta: It kinda makes you sound like a psychopath.
Tammy: That’s very true.
Amy: It does not!
Marietta: It does.
Amy: Okay, then I have nothing to help you here.
Marietta: I really don’t know what to do. I’m not used to feeling so conflicted. I usually have such strong convictions. I think I'm gonna call Gretchen and ask her about running for Governor.
Tammy: Gretchen? Is she, like... okay? the election hit her pretty hard.
Marietta: She's fine. I'm gonna call her now and show you.
Marietta calls Gretchen.
Gretchen: Marietta! Great to hear from you! How are ya?
Marietta: I'm hanging in there. How about you? How's Rhode Island?
Gretchen: Small, mostly insignificant. Rhode Island's fine, too.
Marietta: That's good. I guess?
Gretchen: What are you calling for? It's been a few weeks since I've heard from ya, something's up.
Marietta: I have to ask you for adv-
Kate: We’re here to help!
Ellie: Isn’t there supposed to be security here? Any security? At least a secretary?
Marietta: Gretchen, I gotta go. Call you later!
Gretchen: Somehow I'm not surprised.
Marietta hangs up.
Marietta: What are you two doing in New Orleans?
Kate: I have some influence and an unbelievable amount of money so when I knew my friend was hurting, I had no choice but to put the senate in recess early for the weekend and jet down here.
Ellie: Look at sweet, innocent Kate humble-bragging again.
Kate: Oh, I wasn’t really trying to brag but there was certainly nothing humble about that.
Marietta: So you two just flew down here on a whim? Must be nice.
Kate: Tammy said you were hurting. I thought we could all have a girls’ night.
Marietta: I’m actually feeling a bit better.
Ellie: Told ya we should’ve called. Brian’s been wanting to go out for a romantic dinner and now my sweetheart is going to have to wait another week.
Kate: You have the money, fly back if you don’t think it’s worth it to visit our friend.
Ellie: Nah, I like it here.
Amy: Marietta’s actually been going through something else.
Ellie: something else? Girl, your life is a trainwreck.
Marietta: This isn’t anything like that other situation. I was asked to run for governor and I need advice.
Ellie: My god, no! It’s Louisiana. No! No!
Amy: What’s that supposed to mean?
Marietta: Yes, explain for me. Please.
Ellie: It’s quite Republican, you see.
Marietta: You’re lucky you weren’t insulting my home state.
Ellie: Never! It’s no Massachusetts, but I do like it here.
Kate: I’m basically your therapist at this point.
Marietta: I have a therapist.
Kate: I work harder than her.
Ellie: You really do. You give her advice about three times a week. “Kate, what coffee should I get?” “Kate, should I marry my ex-husband?” “Kate, should I start binging Cheers again?” It’s a lot.
Marietta: It’s a lot of episodes, I need to know!
Kate: What do you need advice on?
Tammy: She’s -
Marietta: I’m w-
Tammy: I guess I wasn’t talking.
Marietta: I guess Kate’s question wasn’t directed at me.
Tammy: Okay, I’ll be quiet.
Marietta: I don’t know if this campaign is worth it. It’s such a long-shot and if I lose, I’ll just look like a loser!
Ellie: Technically when you lose an election, you are, in fact, a loser. By definition.
Marietta: I have a good gig here, I don’t want to look like I’m not content with it and then run for governor and lose that and then lose re-election here because I spent too much time away campaigning for governor.
Ellie: Holy run-on sentence.
Marietta: I’m very confused right now and my brain is a little broken. Give me a break here.
Kate: I’m going to say something, okay?
Ellie: Weren't you just saying something?
Kate: Marietta, I don’t think you’re afraid of losing. I think you’re worried about something else. What else could you be worried about?
Tammy: I know.
Kate: What?
Tammy: Her name starts with a “P.”
Kate: Patty Lynn? That could be it.
Marietta: What about my mother?
Tammy: You’re afraid she won’t approve of you running for office because she’s so excited you’re back in town and you wouldn’t be around as much if you ran for governor, especially if you won. I’m sure you’re also worried about how the rest of your family feels, but no one fills your with such terror and dread as your mom.
Marietta: That’s completely untrue!
Tammy: Is it?
Marietta: Yes! I’ll show you. We’re having our weekly dinner tomorrow. I’ll tell them all I’m thinking of running and tell them that the decision is mine, not theirs.
Tammy: I’m sure that’s gonna go great.
The next night, at dinner…
Milton: Mom, when’s dinner going to be ready?
Patty Lynn: Ten minutes. Have patience, son.
Sarah: Yeah, dad. Have patience. You don’t hear me pestering gram about dinner.
Martin: Yes, we do. Just not in front of your father.
Kathleen: Don’t be a snitch, Martin. This is why Marvin and I never told you any secrets as kids. You always ran off and told mom and dad.
Martin: That was uncalled for.
Kathleen: Was it?
Patty Lynn: Yes. Be nice to your brother, he’s the only reason you currently have shelter.
Kathleen: Sorry, Martin.
Maria: I’ll be right back, you guys. I need to feed Katharine. She’s getting fussy.
Eliza: She’s not the only one! Right, Milton?
Milton: Everyone’s so mean tonight!
Marietta: Uh, girls? Can we chat in the other room? Yes, Amy. That does mean you.
Tammy: I’ll be back, Mitch. Don’t destroy anything while I’m gone.
Mitch: Why would I destroy anything?
Tammy: You sat on a pen last week and got ink all over your pants. You’re just lucky it didn’t break and leave an ink stain on the couch.
Mitch: That was the pen’s fault.
In the other room…
Kate: What’s wrong, honey? You look stressed. Your face is white as a ghost.
Ellie: Yeah, Casper. What’s up?
Marietta: I don’t know if I can bring it up to them tonight.
Tammy: I knew it!
Amy: What went wrong?
Marietta: I hear them all talking and going on and on about all these things and my head’s racing and I don’t think I have the courage to bring it up today. I’m so conflicted about whether I even want to run, asking these nuts about it will only lead to more suffering.
Tammy: So, when do you plan to tell them?
Marietta: I haven’t thought that far ahead.
Tammy: Oy vey.
To be continued…
What did you think of the finale of Marietta? Comment your thoughts, listen to the official season three playlist, vote in the poll below, and make sure to read the special Our House episode next Monday and season 2B of Raymond Island in May and join us for season four of Marietta this October!
