LORENZO, MADISON, LINCOLN, ADAM, REAGAN, SAM, and CHASE all walk into the state Capitol together.
MADISON
This is it. The last day.
LINCOLN
Of the calendar year. Our terms aren’t up yet.
LORENZO
We could always quit.
REAGAN
Lorenzo, you keep suggesting that. It’s not happening.
CHASE
We might want to think about it. Will any of us even get re-elected?
SAM
Once the Economy Act gets up and running, we’ll be hits!
LORENZO
And I have LorenzoChair to my name.
ADAM
I think it’s about time we do something good with our jobs.
CHASE
What do you mean? We’ve done tons of good!
ADAM
Theoretically. But let’s come up with something that will truly benefit us.
LORENZO
Free snacks in session seems good enough to me.
ADAM
I’m thinking long-term.
Everyone enters the chamber and sits in their usual seats.
ADAM
Who’s down for writing a bill with me?
LINCOLN
Think it’ll pass?
ADAM
Yeah.
LINCOLN
Then I’m in. I need some more stuff to my name.
LORENZO
I like having stuff to my name! I’m in too.
SAM
I guess I’ll join. Not like I have anything else going on.
CHASE
Sam makes a good point. I’m in.
REAGAN
I’ll join too, since otherwise I’d be the only one missing.
ADAM
Great! Let’s write a bill.
LINCOLN
About what?
ADAM
First off, we can barely afford the rent on our law office from the six of us.
LORENZO
You have a law office?
ADAM
Yeah, we’re lawyers, remember?
LORENZO
Vaguely.
ADAM
Anyways, I was thinking we make a bill that lowers the rent on law offices.
REAGAN
Sounds arbitrary.
CHASE
Arbitrary is good. Makes it look like we thought it through.
LORENZO
I don’t see how lower rent for law offices benefits me. Isn’t this supposed to be a bill that benefits us?
SAM
We can work you into the bill too, I suppose.
LINCOLN
Lorenzo, what’s one thing that we could put in a bill that will benefit you?
LORENZO
Let’s see...I’ve gotten so much accomplished already...
LINCOLN
Somehow.
LORENZO
I would like if it was less expensive to buy the ingredients for the food.
REAGAN
Don’t you buy wholesale?
LORENZO
What’s wholesale?
SAM
Forget it. Let’s just add in a tax credit for restaurant food.
LORENZO
Would that help me?
SAM
I would hope so.
CHASE
Adam, are you getting this?
ADAM
Kind of. Not really sure how to phrase it.
SAM
Just say tax credit for restaurant food. Simple.
LORENZO, MADISON, LINCOLN, ADAM, REAGAN, SAM, and CHASE put the finishing touches on the bill, which is brought to debate. Only one representative speaks up.
REPRESENTATIVE #1
I must say, this is a fabulous bill. Looking out for yourself. That’s what we’re all about.
MADISON
Sir, with all due respect, are you being sarcastic?
REPRESENTATIVE #1
Not at all. I was questioning your guys’ abilities, but I see potential in you now.
LORENZO
That’s a first!
SPEAKER
Let’s vote.
The End of Session Act passes, 52-48. Everyone gets up and walks outside.
CHASE
Now what?
LORENZO
Cotton—
REAGAN
Candy time, we know.
LORENZO
I was actually gonna say cotton shirt time.
LINCOLN
Were you?
LORENZO
No.
After a long pause:
LORENZO
Are you all gonna come back to Lorenzo’s Kitchen this summer?
CHASE
Yes. Gotta see how the Affordable Chair Act holds up!
LORENZO
LorenzoChair.
Everyone leaves.
LORENZO [yelling]
BY THE WAY, I SOLD LORENZO’S KITCHEN!