Bar Exam Season 3 Episode 3: Equal Bench Time Act

 

The state representatives convened. Fresh off the disappointment of a failed bill, CHASE, LINCOLN, ADAM, MADISON, and SAM all feel unmotivated. 


REAGAN
Come on guys, I know it sucks to not have a bill go through—


MADISON
How would you know, you’ve never even been on one!


REAGAN
I can imagine it doesn’t feel great.


ADAM
No. It doesn’t feel great at all. I feel like a failure. We all do. 


CHASE
I only feel like half a failure, as my first bill went through. 


LINCOLN

Can you stop reminding us, please?


CHASE
Sorry. 


LINCOLN

No, it’s okay. I’m just not feeling great about myself. 


LORENZO
Come on guys, really? It’s really not a huge deal. You’ll get something passed eventually. 


SAM
I can’t stand the thought of going two sessions in a row of failed bills. 


LORENZO
But can you stand the thought of getting absolutely nothing done in your first three sessions?


SAM

That doesn’t make me feel better at all! I’m not getting re-elected, am I?


LORENZO
Re-elected? We’re only in our third sessions and you’re already talking about being re-elected? 


ADAM

It’s a big deal. 


CHASE
Guys, let’s just all sit this sessions out. It’ll be fine, we can come back strong next time. 


LORENZO

If you all feel that way, I can’t stop you. But I do have an idea this time. 


REAGAN
Free cotton candy?


LORENZO

No, but I’ll keep that one on the back-burner. It’s called the Equal Bench Time Act.


CHASE
I don’t know, we just did chairs. Now you want every restaurant to have the same amount of benches? 


LORENZO
No! It calls for every bullpen pitcher to spend the same amount of time on the bench. I think it’ll really be helpful. 


REAGAN
Are you kidding? You realize we’re supposed to be representing a group of people we don’t know, not just ourselves, right?


LORENZO

Like anyone is actually following what we do. Let’s write it now. 


Everyone gives LORENZO a blank stare.


LORENZO
Fine. I’ll write it myself. 


LORENZO puts together The Equal Bench Time Act. When the chamber re-convenes, it is brought to the attention of the other representatives, who have a debate on it. ADAM speaks to them. 


ADAM

Look, you guys might think this bill is ridiculous at first glance. But really, what it will do is help the economy. And the environment too! It’ll also affect immigration, and don’t get me started on what this will do for health care and the stock market and wood industry. 


SPEAKER

Huh?


ADAM
What I’m saying is—


SPEAKER
I don’t want to hear it. 


The SPEAKER brings the bill to a vote. It fails, 3-97.


LORENZO
How could something as perfect as this fail?!


ADAM

I tried. 


LORENZO

I didn’t even think of how it would affect the environment positively. Good job!


ADAM
It won’t. I was trying to make it sound like I knew what I was talking about. Support your bill a little. You didn’t do it all that much justice yourself. 


LORENZO
My bill was just misunderstood. 


LINCOLN
Nah, I think they saw it for what it was. 


REAGAN
Should we leave now?


CHASE
Everyone else has, so I’ll say so. 

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