Marietta Season 3 Episode 13 - Papa Don’t Preach

Marietta Season 3 Episode 13
Papa Don't Preach

Milton is sitting in a Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee confirmation hearing overseen by Senator Pam Martin.

Milton: Priva, when are we going to question Bess Devereaux? This is the longest HELP hearing I’ve ever been in.

Senator Priva Harrold: Aww, that’s so cute. Baby’s first confirmation hearing!

Milton: Oh, wow. It really is my first confirmation hearing. I feel like I’ve been in the Senate forever.

Priva: Don’t worry about it. Time is broken now, everyone knows that. One year feels like six. One presidential administration feels like a century.

Milton: So, uh, when am I going to get to ask my questions? Because I really need to use the bathroom.

Priva: You’ve got plenty of time. Carl Greenley is still trying to remember what he wanted to say. I’ll be a while.

Milton: Good, I’m gonna go. If my time to speak comes, stall.

Priva: I can always try my standup act if the time comes.

Milton gets up and leaves the hearing. Immediately when he steps out of the room, he gets a phone call.

Milton: Hello Marietta.

Man: This is not Marietta. I’m Franklin Hall, headmaster of the Monroe Academy. Is this Senator Landfield?

Milton: It is indeed. Apologies, Mr. Hall. I wasn’t expecting a call from ya, I thought it was my sister.

Franklin: That’s all right, I’m not offended or anything. I’m calling to talk about your daughter, Sarah.

Milton: I am aware of her. What now?

Franklin: I think it’s best if we talk in person at your earliest convenience. I know you’re very busy so let me know when you can stop in and we’ll be waiting in my office.

Milton: Wait, what?

Franklin: Your daughter’s in my office. When can you stop in?

Milton: I’m in the middle of a confirmation hearing. I’m not really sure. Two hours?

Franklin: Sounds good for me. We’ll be here!

One hour later…

Pam: Let’s go to our last senator here. Senator Landfield?

Priva: See Milton, your time has come!

Milton: Ms. Devereaux, thank you for being here today. I have a limited amount of time so I ask you to answer as quick as possible. I thank you in advance. You have been a very controversial pick due to your advocacy for giving teachers guns in schools. This plan has been panned by teachers unions and gun safety activists, who say it would do nothing to stop school shootings of make schools safer and would in fact make them more unsafe. How do you respond to that?

Bess: Well, um, guns are in our Constitution. It is mandated that we are allowed to have them.

Milton: No one is disputing that.

Bess: It seems only right to me that the right to bear arms be extended to our teachers. It is not just to protect from school shooters, but rather to protect from wild animals as well. There’s been schools in Montana that have been attacked by wild goats where teachers having guns saved students’ lives.

Milton: That… doesn’t… seem right.

Bess: It is.

Milton: Okay, moving on because, uh, yeah. This is less about federal policy and just an idea of where you stand on educating because you have no teaching record to refer to. What would be your response in the case of a student that is chronically misbehaving and being grounded or being sent to the principal’s office?

Bess: I would be tough, but fair, you know? Implement a three strikes program. Act up once, grounded. Act up twice, suspended. Act up three times, bye bye. Catch my drift?

Milton: Uh-huh.

Bess: This is fun! Do you have more questions for me?

Milton: No, I do appear to be out of time.

Pam: You have a minute left, senator.

Milton: No, I am out of time I’m, afraid.

Pam: Well, in that case, this hearing is adjourned. The Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee will reconvene tomorrow for a vote to proceed among the full committee.

Senators and hearing guests exit the committee room.

Milton: So, that woman’s not going to be Education Secretary, right?

Priva: God, no. She couldn’t even manage an Arby’s let alone the US Department of Education. We just had to do this to make it look like we were giving her a fair chance.

Milton: Thank god, because I was scared. Speaking of scared, I gotta go.

Priva: To a haunted house? Why are you scared?

Milton: Sarah got into some trouble at school. I don’t know what to expect but I need to meet with the headmaster.

Priva: Good luck. My step kids never got in trouble at school so I can’t relate to this feeling. I guess that’s good, though, given they were fifteen and seventeen when I met them and both were graduated from high school by the time I married their father.

Milton: I get it, Priva. You have a perfect life.

Priva: Not perfect. I just had to sit through that confirmation hearing.

At Monroe Academy…

Milton: Apologies for the wait, Mr. Hall. I got stuck in traffic after my hearing.

Franklin: Don’t worry about it, I had a lot of paperwork to do and I can do that while I babysit.

Milton: I guess we should cut to the chase. Why’s she here and why is it bad enough to make me come here?

Sarah: I’m innocent, dad!

Milton: Calm down, Sarah. Mr. Hall didn’t even tell me what you did yet.

Franklin: Senator Landfield, your daughter stole an answer key for a math exam that was worth ten percent of her grade.

Milton: Sarah!

Franklin: We only found out because one of her fellow students found it in her pillowcase. As you know, this is not her first incident. She also drew a vulgar message on her history teacher’s chalkboard a few weeks ago, got in an argument with another girl at lunch and threw food at her last month, released a frog from the science lab in the halls of class in May and wrote on her desk in Sharpie that her teacher “sucks” in March.

Milton: I am unfortunately well-aware of that fact.

Franklin: I’ve given her many chances but nothing has worked. Her behavior has gotten progressively worse and I have no choice here. I have to expel her.

Milton: Okay. Thank you for your time. Let’s go, Sarah.

In the car, on the way to Milton’s apartment…

Sarah: Dad…

Milton: What?

Sarah: You’re taking this really well.

Milton: What am I gonna do, Sarah?

Sarah: I was just expecting you to blow up on me.

Milton: Not that, I’m pissed. I meant, how do I go forward with this? You have completely turned things upside down. I’m a senator. You don’t have a mother. I can’t stay home and babysit until I get you into another school. Clearly I can’t trust you to stay home on your own. I feel ill.

Sarah: You don’t need to get me a babysitter.

Milton: You don’t get to tell me how to proceed here. I’m the adult. Why are you acting like this? Why did you cheat and throw things and say nasty things about teachers?

Sarah: I’m upset, dad. Okay?

Milton: What are you upset about?

Sarah: You’re finally here in DC after I’ve been here for five years and I’m still at boarding school and I don’t get to see you. It sucks knowing you’re right here and I can’t see you and I’m lonely. I’m not friends with most of these girls, and certainly not friends with any of these boys. I’ve never even had a boyfriend because I’m scared. I saw what happened to Henrietta, she’s been a stay-at-home mom since she was seventeen. You’d freak out if I started dating.

Milton: I wouldn’t.

Sarah: You would, and that’s okay. The Landfields haven’t had a history of success with dating in their teens.

Milton: Marietta did okay.

Sarah: I miss Aunt Marietta, too. She’d come visit me, even more than you do. I’d see her three or four times a week. She was like a mom to me. I never had a mom, she’s the closest I got. She calls almost every day but I don’t get to hug her and I don’t get to talk about my problems in-depth in a fifteen minute phone call.

Milton: You’re breaking my heart.

Sarah: I don’t mean to but I have to tell you what’s on my mind. I’m lashing out for attention. Any attention is good when you feel helpless and alone.

Milton: Sarah, you’re not going to be grounded, okay?

Sarah: Okay.

Milton: You’re also not going to need a babysitter. I see what’s going on here.

Sarah: What’s that?

Milton: You’re hurt and scared and sad. You’re responsible enough to stay home alone without a babysitter. I have to get back to the Senate, so you’re going to need to stay home today. I’ll try to call when I’m not busy. We’re gonna watch some TV together or play a game when I get home, sound good?

Sarah: Sounds good to me.

One hour later, in Milton’s office…

Milton: Friends, I have asked you all to stop in here for a very important reason.

Aimee Ferrera Donahue (US Representative from Washington): Are you getting married? Of course we’ll be your bridesmaids!

Milton: What? Aimee, no!

Aimee: Milton I am so tired. I have two of the rowdiest children alive back at home and I live in my office because I am poor. God, why is this my life?

Kate: Aimee’s going through something right now, clearly.

Ellie: Leave it to the Republican to make everything about her.

Aimee: I’m gonna let that slide because I am a mess.

Ellie: We know, dear.

Kate: What is this about, though?

Priva: Yeah, I’m a little worried, and not just because you invited a Republican. You look like you’ve been crying. A lot.

Ellie: Are you dying, Milton?

Milton: Well, now I see where Marietta got that from.

Ellie: She taught it to me! I used to be far nicer before I met her.

Kate: No, you weren’t.

Milton: Anyhoo, I asked my closest friends on the Hill to meet here in my office because I need advice about my daughter, Sarah.

Aimee: I’m one of your closest friends? Aww.

Ellie: Couldn’t you find any men? Like, any at all?

Kate: I think it’s sweet he’s enlisting a bit of girl power. What do you need to know? Did she get her period and did that scare you a lot?

Milton: God, no. She got expelled.

Kate: She got what? That sweet little summer child got expelled? What did she do?

Ellie: Did she push another girl down the stairs? It happens more than you think. One gets jealous and attempts homicide.

Kate: What is wrong with you?

Ellie: Not as much as what's wrong with Aimee.

Aimee: As the only mother of young children here, I think I’m most qualified to speak here, as I’ve pushed a child out of me within the last century.

Ellie: Aren’t your kids like two? They don’t even go to school!

Aimee: That does not matter.

Ellie: I’ve sent a child through school.

Aimee: I’m young enough that my mind still functions properly.

Ellie: You’re old enough that you didn’t just have a geriatric pregnancy, you had a jurassic pregnancy. The child came out fossilized and dusty.

Kate: Can you both stop? This isn't helping Milton, or anyone for that matter. I’m just so glad you two don’t work together.

Ellie: And we never will because she’s a Republican from Washington and will thus never win anything there. Blessed be the lord who made that state so blue.

Aimee: I’ve never denied that fact.

Priva: Milton looks exhausted. As someone who’s also had to listen to this conversation, I get it.

Kate: Milton, can we talk in the corner? Alone.

Milton: Gladly.

Kate: Milton, can you explain further what’s going on? I actually have interest in helping unlike… those two.

Milton: Sarah’s been acting up and got expelled. She says it’s because she feels lonely and misses Marietta and wishes I’d see here more since I’m in town. I don’t know what to do with her. I’m so busy.

Kate: Milton, you have a wonderful family back home in New Orleans. They aren’t busy non-stop. Give them a call and ask if they can take her, but only if that’s what Sarah wants. Do you understand what I mean?

Milton: Yes.

Kate: Okay, good, because I need to remove Ellie from this situation. Priva, help me!

Priva: Already on it, Katie!

Thirty minutes later, Milton calls Marietta.

Marietta: Milton! It’s the middle of the day, are you slacking off again?

Milton: As always.

Marietta: What’s going on? You okay?

Milton: Not entirely.

Marietta: I just felt my stomach turn. What’s up?

Milton: Sarah got expelled.

Marietta: Oh my god! No!

Tammy: What happened?

Amy: Are they out of pepperoni?

Marietta: This is Milton!

Amy: Damn.

Milton: Tell Amy I said “hello.” Tammy, too.

Marietta: He said “hi!”

Tammy: Hi, Milton!

Amy: I hope he has some pepperoni.

Marietta: What are you going to do about her? She needs to go to school.

Milton: I’d have to ask her, but I want to send her down to New Orleans and send her to public school.

Marietta: Oh boy.

Milton: I want her to live with you. You have that big mansion all to yourself and she’d lived there once before. She loves you so much. I think it would work out really well.

Marietta: I actually agree. I’d love to have her.

Milton: That’s great!

Marietta: However…

Milton: Here’s the catch!

Marietta: I have to ask mom and dad first. I work long days at city hall a lot of the time. I wouldn’t want to leave her alone that much. She’d have to go there after school until I can pick her up so she’s not lonely. Sound good to you?

Milton: Sounds great!

Marietta: Okay, let me call mom and ask her.

Milton: What about dad?

Marietta: What mom wants, she gets.

Milton: No truer words.

Marietta hangs up and calls Patty Lynn.

Patty Lynn: There’s my darling girl! What’s going on?

Marietta: A lot, actually! Really a lot!

Patty Lynn: Are you planning to tell me?

Martin: Is that Marietta?

Kathleen: Tell her I watched that Netflix show she told me about. Scared the daylights out of me.

Martin: What show was that?

Kathleen: Grace and Frankie. Made me realize I’m old and I’m gonna die soon.

Marietta: That’s a very dark take on Grace and Frankie.

Patty Lynn: What’s your news?

Marietta: Sarah got expelled from Monroe for some reason I am not sure of and Milton wants to send her down to New Orleans to go to public school.

Patty Lynn: What? What happened to get her expelled?

Marietta: i just told you that I do not know.

Patty Lynn: You didn’t ask?

Marietta: No, there were a lot of thoughts going through my mind that did not materialize into words.

Patty Lynn:: You should’ve asked.

Marietta: Write that down in my performance review, I guess. Anyway, Milton asked me if she could live with me at the mayor’s mansion. I obviously agreed because I need the company and I love that girl. I need you to watch her after school every day, because I don’t want her alone while I'm at work. Sound good?

Patty Lynn: Sounds great! I’d love to see our little girl more!

Martin: What about Marietta?

Patty Lynn: Sarah’s coming to New Orleans to go to school and Marietta wants us to watch her after school every day!

Martin: That’ll be great! Someone to give me advice about this iPhone that I don’t know how to use.

Patty Lynn: Just go to the Apple Store!

Martin: I’ve tried!

Patty Lynn: Did you go to an actual apple store? Like, a grocery store? They don’t handle phones there.

Marietta: I gotta call Milton back. Thanks for the chat, mom.

Patty Lynn: Thanks for calling!

Marietta hangs up and calls Milton.

Milton: What did mom say?

Marietta: We’re on!

Milton: That’s awesome! I think Sarah’s going to like this arrangement much better.

Marietta: I do, too! I’m gonna go shopping and get her room together!

That night, after Milton returns home…

Milton: Sarah, I have some news.

Sarah: You picked up a movie to watch?

Milton: Not quite. If you’re okay with it, I’m gonna send you back home to New Orleans and you’re gonna live with Aunt Marietta.

Sarah: Aunt Marietta? For real?

Milton: Yes, I love you so much but her and your grandparents will provide you with a much better life for right now. More consistency and stability.

Sarah: Thank you, dad.

Milton: Thank you, for opening my eyes. I would’ve preferred if you just told me instead of acting out, but it’s okay. This will be better for us all.

Sarah: Can I call Aunt Marietta and tell her the good news?

Milton: Sure!

Sarah picks up her cell phone and walks to the balcony to call Marietta. Milton begins to cry.

Sarah: Dad? One more thing!

Milton: What is it?

Sarah: I better see you every weekend.

Milton: I promise.

What did you think of the new episode of Marietta? Comment your thoughts, listen to the official season three playlist, vote in the poll below, and make sure to return for a new episode next week!

Who was your favorite character in Marietta Season 3 Episode 13 "Papa Don't Preach?"
Patty Lynn

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