College Season 3 Episode 18: Hold My Beer...And My Gun!


                                             College S3 Ep 18: Hold My Beer... And My Gun! 

Written by

William Fry & Michael Ledesma


INT. APARTMENT - DAY

Andrew and Megan are eating breakfast at the dining table. Edison walks in with a coy smile.

ANDREW

What's got you in such a good mood?

EDISON

Today’s a special day.

ANDREW

It is?

EDISON

Yes Andrew it is. Today is my birthday.

Andrew and Megan stare blankly at Edison.

EDISON

This is the part where you wish me a happy birthday.

ANDREW

Why haven’t you ever told me your birthday?

EDISON

Because I don’t want anyone to be able to steal my identity!

ANDREW

That’s not how that works, but okay.

MEGAN

Happy birthday Edison.

EDISON

Thank you.

MEGAN

Any plans?

EDISON

Oh yes, tonight, WE are getting drunk. Legally.

ANDREW

That’s right, you’re turning 21.

EDISON

Yep. While all you guys were able to freely drink publicly, I had to sneak around and drink. But not anymore. You, me, Megan, Sarah, and Britt are gonna have the time of our lives.

ANDREW

What about Mario?

EDISON

He’s visiting his family in Italy.

ANDREW

Hold on, this isn't some plan to get Britt back right?

EDISON

No. I’ve learned my lesson. Tonight is just about having fun. And also getting wasted.

MEGAN

So what’s it like being 21 finally?

EDISON

It feels great. I feel… more mature. Being able to buy alcohol is great. Plus, I can own this.

Edison pulls out a snub nose revolver and places it on the table.

ANDREW

Is that a gun?

EDISON

Oh yeah.

ANDREW

Why do you have a gun?

EDISON

Cause I can. Also, someone in this group needs a weapon to protect us.

MEGAN

I have a taser.

EDISON

Lead beats electricity.

ANDREW

Great. Alcohol and guns. That should mix well.

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Andrew, Edison, Megan, Sarah, and Brittaney enter a crowded bar.

EDISON

Happy birthday to me!!!

Edison rushes over to the bar.

EDISON

Five beers, please.

BARTENDER

ID.

Edison pulls out his ID and shows it to the bartender who examines it. They hand it back to him.

BARTENDER

Happy birthday.

The others grab a booth.

BRITTANEY

He seems happy.

ANDREW

Yeah, he does.

Edison returns with the beer. He sets them down and raises his bottle.

EDISON

I’d like to make a toast. To myself, to my friends, and… to turning 21.

ANDREW

Cheers.

The group clink their glasses. Edison starts chugging his beer and finishes it.

EDISON

Another!

Edison walks away.

MEGAN

It’s gonna be a long night.

Throughout the night, the group continuously drinks.

Megan walks over to the bar.

MEGAN

Can I get a glass of water?

Megan looks over to her side. Paige is sitting on a stool next to her.

MEGAN

Paige?

PAIGE

Oh, hey. What’s up?

MEGAN

I’m celebrating Edison’s birthday.

PAIGE

Oh.

MEGAN

Yeah. Listen, I never got the chance to thank you for helping me kick his ass in video games.

PAIGE

No problem.

MEGAN

I thought you’d like payback.

PAIGE

Yeah. Of course, that wasn't the only reason.

MEGAN

Huh?

PAIGE

I… was hoping to spend some time with you.

MEGAN

Oh, well if you ever want to hang out, we can.

PAIGE

That’s not quite what I meant.

MEGAN

Oh?

PAIGE

I… ummmmmm… sorry, I don’t really know how to say this.

MEGAN

Paige, are you… are you a lesbian?

PAIGE

Well, I’m bi.

MEGAN

But you dated Edison.

PAIGE

I did. But after we broke up I started thinking I’ve always… felt differently about girls. Actually come to think of it, I’ve always had a crush on you.

MEGAN

Oh, well, thank you. I’m flattered.

PAIGE

I’m sorry if I’ve made things awkward.

MEGAN

No-no-no. It’s just… I got out of a bad relationship.

PAIGE

I know. I’m sorry about what she did to you.

MEGAN

Thank you. You know, she actually broke up with me at this exact bar.

PAIGE

Oh my gosh.

MEGAN

Anyway, I don’t want to bore you with the details.

PAIGE

No. I’m here for you. You can talk to me.

Paige places her hand on Megan and the two lock eyes.

Meanwhile at the booth…

SARAH

Wanna dance?

ANDREW

Sure.

Andrew and Sarah leave. Edison and Brittaney drink their beers. Brittaney’s phone DINGS and she looks at it. She sighs.

EDISON

What?

BRITTANEY

Nothing. Just some issues with Mario.

EDISON

You two okay?

BRITTANEY

Yeah. sort of.

EDISON

What do you mean sort of?

BRITTANEY

I… I shouldn’t talk about it.

EDISON

No problem. Look, I know I’ve been a jerk lately but I want you to know that if you ever want to talk, I’m here for you. As a friend.

Edison and Brittaney smile at each other.

BRITTANEY

Lately, things between Mario and I are just… blah.

EDISON

Blah?

BRITTANEY

I don’t know. It’s like the spark that was once there is dimming.

EDISON

You just got to reignite it. When's the last time you two did it?

BRITTANEY

Edison!

EDISON

What?

BRITTANEY

That’s not the issue.

EDISON

Oh, I see, it's an emotional thing. Well, I’m not exactly the best in that department.

BRITTANEY

What are you talking about? You were great at it when we were… together.

EDISON

Look, I think you and Mario just need to talk. Lay everything out on the table and be honest.

BRITTANEY

Thanks. You really are a good guy.

Edison and Brittaney smile at each other.

EDISON

Another drink?

BRITTANEY

Yes, please.

The night continues. Andrew brings Edison a small cupcake with a candle in it.

ANDREW

Make a wish.

Edison thinks for a second and then blows out the candle.

The group continues drinking. Edison and Brittaney laugh and talk as do Megan and Paige at the bar. Andrew and Sarah continue dancing.

EXT. BAR - NIGHT

The group leaves the bar. Edison is drinking from a beer bottle. The group stumbles drunkenly down an alley. A mugger appears from the shadows with a knife.

MUGGER

Wallets, now!

EDISON

I don’t think so, buddy. Andrew, hold my beer.

Edison hands Andrew his beer bottle and pulls out his gun and points it at the mugger.

ANDREW & MEGAN

EDISON NO!!

He pulls the trigger and the gun clicks.

EDISON

Oh shit, I forgot to buy bullets.

MEGAN

You bought a gun and not bullets.

ANDREW

That’s the issue? Edison was about to kill a man?!

EDISON

It’s okay, I got this. Andrew, hold my gun.

Edison hands Andrew his gun. Edison raises his fists.

EDISON

Come at me.

MUGGER

What the hell is going on?

Edison punches the mugger who falls to the ground unconscious.

EDISON

Not on my birthday.

The group walks away. Cheering and laughing through the night.

The Next Morning…

INT. APARTMENT - DAY

Edison lies in bed asleep. He stirs awake. He looks over and laying next to him is Brittaney. His eyes widened. Brittaney stirs awake and upon seeing Edison, her eyes widen. Both scream in shock.

In Megan’s room, Megan jolts awake. Next to her, Paige sits up.

PAIGE

What’s going on?

MEGAN

I have no idea.

END.

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