Bar Exam Season 3 Episode 11: Free Food Act

LORENZO is sitting in his seat in the House of Representatives when he looks around to CHASE, LINCOLN, ADAM, SAM, MADISON, and REAGAN.

LORENZO
I’m hungry.


ADAM

Don’t you usually bring a snack with you?


LORENZO
Already ate it. Can I have yours?


ADAM

We’ve been over this. None of us bring snacks. You’re the only one. 


LORENZO

Saving money?


MADISON

No, we generally just are able to go longer periods of time without feeling the need to eat.


LORENZO

No fair. I want food!


SAM

Lorenzo, we’re here to do a job. Everyone, let’s get a bill going.


CHASE
I have an idea! How about we solve world hunger?


LINCOLN
How do you suppose we do that when we’re on the state level?


MADISON

We could solve state hunger. 


ADAM

Or even just city hunger. 


LORENZO
I too would like to end hunger. 


CHASE
Lorenzo, that’s not funny. 


LORENZO
No, seriously. It’s an important cause to me. 


MADISON
We’re talking about actual hunger.


LINCOLN
Yeah, like, people who don’t have any money for food. 


SAM
It’s a serious thing. 


LORENZO
I’m in. 


MADISON
In that case, I’m not. This bill is going to be a disaster. 


ADAM
Yeah, I would also like to not write a bill about hunger with Lorenzo. 


LORENZO
Come on guys, this will pass! Lincoln, you haven’t gotten a bill passed yet. 


LINCOLN
And this won’t be the first. 


REAGAN

I’m sitting it out this time. 


SAM

Same. 


LORENZO
Really? Nobody wants to help me end city hunger?


CHASE
I’ll help you. I mean, it was my idea after all. 


LORENZO
No, I think it was my idea. 


CHASE rolls his eyes.


CHASE
Fine, it can be both of our ideas. Let’s write this bill. 


CHASE turns to his computer screen with LORENZO looking on. 


LORENZO
You know, these new computers remind me of when we got a new bench in the bullpen. 


LORENZO puts his right hand against the computer screen.


LORENZO
It’s heated, too! Just like the bench! Too bad you can’t sit on it. 


After a long pause. 


LORENZO
Too bad you can’t sit on it. 


CHASE

I heard you. No, you can’t sit on it. Let’s focus. 


LORENZO and CHASE write a detailed bill about how to solve hunger in the city. The bill is brought to the floor and debated. 


REPRESENTATIVE #1

You two have good intentions, but this bill is WAY too expensive!


CHASE
We went out of our way to keep costs down as much as we could. 


REPRESENTATIVE #2

You didn’t do enough. 


REPRESENTATIVE #3

If only we didn’t pass that dumb Dumb Tax Act bill. The Duck Tax would’ve covered a lot of this!


LORENZO

We...didn’t pass that. Even I know that. It failed. Remember?


REPRESENTATIVE #3

Oh. Right. Well, still too expensive!


REPRESENTATIVE #4

I call for an Amendment. Where it says, ‘All citizens should get free food to the value of $20 daily,’ I would like to change that to ‘All representatives should get free food to the value of $50 daily.’


REPRESENTATIVE #5

Good catch. That’ll save lots of money. Ending city hunger, one representative at a time!


After a vote, the Amendment passes. The bill proceeds to pass, 75-25. 


CHASE
Well, we tried. 


LORENZO

You know, I’m all for free food and everything, but that was my best bill since LorenzoChair!


CHASE
Affordable Chair Act. Hey, at least the representatives think we make a good team!


LORENZO
That’s really a distinction you want?


CHASE
If it gets bills passed, why not? 


LORENZO
I guess so. Between LorenzoChair and Free Food Act, we do have two bills passed together!


CHASE
I do have one thing to say though. If Affordable Chair Act gets to be LorenzoChair, Free Food Act is Chase Hunger. 


LORENZO
That reminds me! I’m hungry. 


A representative approaches LORENZO. It’s the first one who debated the bill.


REPRESENTATIVE #1

I know you had good intentions. As such, I will be donating my food for the first week. 


LORENZO
Oh, awesome! That’s great to hear!


REPRESENTATIVE #1

Yeah, my sister’s gonna love it. She eats a light lunch because she’s a little tight on money. You know, all those dumb taxes. 


REPRESENTATIVE #1 walks away. LORENZO can’t help but sigh and laugh as he leaves alongside everyone else. 

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