Our House Season 3 Episode 15 - Our Flight (Part 3)

Our House Season 3, Episode 15
Our Flight (Part 3)

It is Tuesday. The Bellwoods have just returned from a long day at Chichen Itza.

Velma: We’ve been home for a solid two minutes. I can’t believe Mitchell is still conscious. That was a lot of walking.

Mitchell: I’m working on changing that. Don’t you worry.

Velma: Oh, good. Just what I want. A husband knocked out by nine-thirty, still in his sweaty clothes. In my bed.

Mitchell: Glad to hear it!

Frank: Are we gonna eat? I’m starving?

Teri: Of course you are. It’s been what, two hours?

Frank: Four.

Teri: My mistake.

Velma: Are we going to the beat tomorrow? We better be!

Teri: We’re going into town to go to the market in the morning, and then we’re going snorkeling at about two.

Velma: That involves the beach, so I’m good!

Karl: Wow, look at the news.

Cindy: The Mexican news? How can you understand it?

Ralph: Well, you see, there’s this thing called “subtitles.” They help you understand it.

Karl: Also, they have American channels here for the guests who speak English.

Cindy: See, Ralph. You don’t know it all.

Betty: What’s happening on the news? I can’t hear anything!

Karl: That’s because I muted the television.

Betty: Well, turn the volume on if you want me to hear it!

Karl: I’m trying to.

Betty: Try harder!

Cindy: I always forgot that vacations made mom and dad get annoyed with one another. It’s been so long since we’ve all been together.

Teri: We went to Las Vegas together three months ago.

Cindy: That wasn’t a vacation. That was h-e-double hockey sticks.

Teri: Hell. It was hell. I promise you, you can say the word.

Cindy: You’re always making fun of my religion.

Zeke: I’m going to bed, too. This is torture.

Steven: I think I’ll go read a book.

Tammi: That sounds like a plan to me!

Karl: I got the volume on! Everyone look! There’s going to be a storm over the Gulf of Mexico on Saturday.

Velma: This better not impact my beach time.

Teri: Is that the only thing you ever think of?

Velma: Yes!

The next day, Teri gets a call from Danielle.

Teri: I can’t talk long, Danielle. I’m at a market in Cancun and I can’t let my mom out of my sight or she might buy an alpaca or something.

Danielle: I’ll be quick, then. What’s going on with the credit card?

Teri: What ever could you mean?

Danielle: The credit card. The one connected to our Amazon account. What happened there?

Teri: Okay… long story.

Danielle: Tell it quickly, then.

Teri: I was worried mom would make more impulse buys while we’re here so I called the credit card company and told them it was lost.

Danielle: Why would you do that? Just take the card from her!

Teri: She has the numbers memorized. All of them. She loves that card more than she loves her children. I can’t risk her buying an alpaca or something.

Danielle: What’s with the alpaca? Do they even have them there?

Teri: I don’t know. It just feels like something she'd buy. Why do you need the card, anyway?

Danielle: No reason.

Teri: You’re up to something. What are you getting on Amazon?

Danielle: I killed one of your dad’s plants and I found a replacement on Amazon.

Teri: Why were you using our card?

Danielle: I didn’t mean to, I just clicked “buy now” because I need it immediately, not realizing that my card wasn’t linked, and then I saw hours later that the payment was declined so I got worried.

Teri: Checks out. That new plant better look just like the old one or my dad will cry.

Danielle: I’m trying my best.

Teri: Okay, I gotta go. Mom is gesturing for me.

Betty: Teri, look at these beautiful socks!

Teri: They’re socks, mom! I have socks!

Betty: I like them for Cindy! For a present!

Teri: Cindy is next to you, she already knows about the socks now.

Betty: Oops.

Danielle: Bye, Teri.

Teri: Talk to you later, Danielle. Good luck.

Friday night, in the hotel room…

Betty: I can’t believe we have to go home tomorrow. I loved being here in paradise, together with all of you. When do we ever get so much time together?

Ralph: Mom, we live together.

Teri: We spend far too much time together.

Betty: There’s no such thing as too much time with the ones you love!

Velma: Just like you can’t spend too much time with the beach! Don’t make me leave!

Jerry: Is she gonna be like this the whole way home, Mitchell?

Mitchell: Sadly.

Jerry: I’m getting earplugs tomorrow at the airport.

Tammi: I agree with grandma. It’s nice that we’re together like this. Most people don’t have that. We’re special.

Frank: We sure are special. 

Teri: S-

Frank: I know, I know. “Shut up, Frank.”

Teri: At least he knows.

Karl: I have a voicemail from the airline.

Betty: Oh, god. There’s hijackers on the plane!

Cindy: Mom, we aren’t on the plane yet.

Betty: Oh, right.

Teri: Why would they be calling about that, anyway? Wouldn’t we know if we were on the plane.

Betty: I don’t know, it was the first thing that popped into my head.

Velma: What does the voicemail say, Karl? Does it say we get to stay here another week?

Karl: Well… not quite.

Velma: It was a long shot.

Karl: We aren’t going home tomorrow, though.

Velma: We aren’t? It’s a miracle!

Karl: Not really. The plane can’t fly because there’s a storm out over the gulf. They’re delaying the flight to Sunday.

Jerry: So it’s raining outside. They can’t fly in rain?

Cindy: Jerry, use your brain! You can’t fly in rain.

Karl: Actually, you can fly in rain. You just can’t fly in hurricane-like conditions.

Teri: What are we going to do? We have to be out of this room tomorrow morning.

Zeke: Just don’t leave. That’s what I used to do when my landlords tried to kick me out when I didn’t pay them.

Teri: Okay, we’re not doing that.

Betty: You guys, don’t panic.

Cindy: I don’t think anyone was panicking.

Velma: I am. I can’t go to an Econolodge after spending a week here. Here, I can walk up to a window and get crab legs, no questions asked. There, I get a different kind of crabs.

Teri: You sound like you’re speaking from experience.

Mitchell: Do you have anything to tell me?

Velma: It didn’t happen to me. Now, my friend Vera…

Mitchell: Vera stayed at our house once!

Velma: It happened in college.

Teri: As much as I enjoy… whatever this is, I’m also interested in hearing whatever hilarious thing mom wants to say.

Betty: Thank you for remembering me. I thought we were going to have to listen to that crabs story and it sounded horrifying.

Mitchell: Imagine being me.

Betty: Remember when I bought that timeshare?

Teri: You did? I don’t remember that.

Betty: Yeah, I left the beach and went to a meeting and bo-

Teri: I know, mom.

Betty: You said you forgot.

Cindy: She was being sarcastic. She doesn’t know when to not be sarcastic.

Ralph: What does your timeshare have to do with this?

Velma: We only need one more day, why waste your exchange week on one day? Unless…

Mitchell: We aren’t staying another week.

Betty: I got a free extra long weekend to stay at any of their properties. Maybe if I tell them the situation, they’ll let me use it now. Instead of three days in one room, we can use it to stay in three rooms for one day.

Teri: That actually is a good plan. Especially since we don’t have nearly enough cash on us to stay at any hotel here, let alone one that’s safe and clean.

Betty: Am I a secret genius?

Teri: Don’t get ahead of yourself.

The next morning…

Velma: Come on, everyone! Let’s get going! One last day in paradise. It is two minutes past six, we need to get moving!

Mitchell: Velma, it’s raining.

Velma: Paradise. We are in paradise!

Mitchell: It looks to me like a rainy day. Good for sleeping.

Velma: You can sleep in Virginia. Not at the beach. There aren’t beaches in Virginia.

Mitchell: There are. The one closest to us is literally called “Virginia Beach.”

Velma: They aren’t like this. They aren’t paradise.

Mitchell: Wake me up at seven.

Karl: There’s plenty for us to do in the rain. We’ll just take some umbrellas.

Velma: What about the beach?

Tammi: I paid far too much to get here to lay on the beach getting wet.

Velma: I never get wet at the beach. That’d be crazy.

Teri: Oh, Velma. Let it rest.

Velma: I want one more beach day. Is that too much to ask?

Jerry: Yes!

Teri: We can always go to Señor Frog’s!

Tammi: We have Steven!

Teri: You have Steven.

Tammi: You can be so rude sometimes.

Teri: I’m just saying, we don’t all have to do the same thing today. Whatever we want to do before we leave, we should do it. We’ve been given something of a gift. Separating for one day won’t kill us.

Karl: A real gift will be waking your brother up in time for us to go anywhere.

Steven: Can I ask something?

Tammi: Of course, honey.

Steven: What is Señor Frog’s?

Tammi: Oh, lord. How do I explain this?

Teri: It’s a place your uncle Zeke would love to go to.

Steven: What does that mean? 

Tammi: It’s a place for adults. You can’t go for a while.

Steven: Why not?

Tammi: Because I said so.

Ralph: Did someone say my name?

Karl: Wow, you’re awake!

Ralph: Sure am!

Cindy: What do you want to do today, honey?

Jerry: Pack.

Cindy: We are not spending a day of vacation packing. Most of our stuff is already packed!

Betty: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Teri: Oh god…

Frank: What was the point in lockoff rooms if we just turned this into one huge room?

Tammi: You really think this family was going to just stand her and allow us to all have privacy?

Betty: What are you guys talking about? Did I hear someone say the word “separating?”

Teri: I did. I think we should all do what we want to today. We all have different things on the agenda today. Whether it’s more beach time, or going to the aquarium, or going to Señor Frog’s, we should do what we want.

Betty: You know what? I bet you’re expecting me to give you a problem. I’m not going to. Come on, Karl. Let’s go to the aquarium. Teri doesn’t want to spend her last day of vacation with her mother.

Cindy: I’ll spend it with you!

Teri: What a kiss ass…

Karl: It’s a little early to go anywhere. We should eat. Maybe get dressed.

Betty: Obviously we were going to do that, Karl!

Later that night, when Teri returns to the room…

Teri: Wow, what a day. I am - why are you guys all looking at me?

Ralph: It’s nine o’clock. Where have you been? Mom demands to know.

Teri: I was partying all day. I’m exhausted. What happened to Velma?

Mitchell: She fell asleep on the beach without sunscreen.

Velma: Apparently the sun still burns when it’s cloudy.

Teri: Who doesn’t know that?

Velma: Me!

Betty: What did you do, Teresa?

Teri: What does that mean?

Karl: We went to the aquarium. I didn’t have enough cash, so I went to use my card. It was declined. Thankfully, Frank was there -

Betty: Never say those words.

Frank: You warm my heart.

Karl: Frank was there to loan me some money so we could go.

Tammi: Frank is a hero.

Betty: I’m going to be sick.

Karl: I called the credit card company and someone reported it as stolen. Who did that?

Teri: Someone dumb. Must have been Frank.

Frank: Don’t you pin this on me. This has “Teri” written all over it!

Teri: Okay, okay. Fine. It was me. I was worried mom was going to make another impulse buy like the timeshare while we were here and I wanted to make sure it didn’t happen. I had a new card expedited and it will be at the house by Monday.

Karl: I wish you would’ve informed me so I could’ve withdrew some more money. Your heart was in the right place, though.

Jerry: Crap, I wanted to see some screaming tonight!

Ralph: If Cindy or I did it,  you would’ve. Teri’s the only one who gets to act so ridiculous.

Jerry: You’re not wrong.

Betty: I wasn’t going to buy anything else. You didn’t have to do that.

Jerry: It’s starting!

Betty: I’m not going to yell. I’m just telling Teri she overreacted.

Cindy: What else is new?

Teri: I don’t overreact!

Velma: Hey, listen. I’m enjoying this so much, but I need to go lather some Ocean Potion on my burns and cry myself to sleep. Not because I’m burnt. Because I’m leaving the beach.

Mitchell: At least you still have me!

Velma: That doesn’t help.

Teri: So we’re all feeling better! Everyone had a lovely day! Let’s get to bed, it’s a big day tomorrow!

The next morning…

Karl: Does everyone have all of their stuff packed up? Jerry and Frank and I are going to start hauling it down to the van.

Teri: I didn’t do my makeup yet!

Karl: Of course you didn’t.

Teri: You can take everything but my carry-on.

Karl: Okay, I will.

Jerry: How is it that we have so much more stuff now than we did when we came? We have like four more suitcases full of things.

Cindy: You do know who you came on vacation with, right?

Jerry: You’re right. I was dumb to ask.

Ralph: It’s going to cost so much money to get this back home.

Betty: It’ll be fine. Just be glad that I’m having that painting I bought shipped back home. I was going to bring it on the plane with us.

Ralph: I can imagine nothing more comfortable than having a giant painting on my lap for seven hours.

Velma: Hey, Teri. You don’t have to rush with the makeup. If we miss the flight, that’s okay. There’s always tomorrow.

Ralph: We’ll be homeless tomorrow.

Velma: I can sleep on the beach. I’m good.

Teri: I’m already done. I quick put some mascara and blush on. I’m fine. I’m only sitting on a plane. I’m not going to the Golden Globes.

Ralph: Yeah. You’re not nearly drunk enough for the Golden Globes.

At the airport…

Karl: Wow, every time I look at the luggage, it just multiplies. Have we ever bought this many souvenirs on one vacation before?

Ralph: Well, there’s never been forty-five of us on vacation together before.

Teri: Aren’t you glad I reported the card? There could’ve been so much more!

Karl: No, Teri. I am not.

Teri: I’m ignoring that.

Cindy: I guess we should get inside and head to our flight. I wanna have time to buy one of those trashy airport magazines to read at the gate. The ones about how messy those celebrities’ lives are. Love ‘em!

Teri: You love reading about the liberal coastal elite celebrities? I am shocked and appalled.

Cindy: A love of gossip is apolitical.

Velma: No one can make me go into that airport! No one can separate me from my beach!

Teri: Velma… get real.

Betty: We’ll leave you here.

Velma: Fine. I’ll go.

Karl: Another Bellwood family vacation in the books! I don’t know how we do it.

Teri: Alcohol.

Ralph: And weed.

Betty: Weed?

Ralph: What you don’t know won’t hurt you.

What did you think of the new episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments, vote in the poll below and make sure to read a new episode next week!

Who was your favorite character in Our House Season 3 Episode 15 "Our Flight?

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