ACE, DEVIN, FELIX, LORENZO, ROBERT, HARRY, MANNY, and CHARLES are all in the Indianapolis Primitives’ bullpen while a game is played.
FELIX
Manny! You’re back!
MANNY
Glad to see you’re excited.
FELIX
That was actually supposed to be sarcastic.
MANNY
Well either way, lesson learned. From now on, I’ll give the home run ball to one of you, get you suspended, and then keep the ball myself.
ROBERT
Sounds like a plan to me!
MANNY
Promise?
ROBERT
Sure.
MANNY
And during my time off, I’ve been doing some thinking.
ACE
Uh oh.
MANNY
I feel as if I haven’t been as hands-on as I should be with you guys.
DEVIN
No, I think you’re hands on enough.
MANNY
Exactly. No player would ever feel comfortable telling a coach that if it’s true. That’s why I’ve made a schedule.
DEVIN
Let’s see it.
MANNY
So you know how the most comfortable part of the bench is the far left?
FELIX
You mean the part that Lorenzo warms up every day?
LORENZO
Actually, the entire bench is heated.
FELIX
I didn’t mean it like that.
MANNY
So anyways I’ve made a schedule of who gets that part of the bench when. Charles, you’re up first.
CHARLES
Okay then.
LORENZO
Where am I supposed to sit then? That’s my special seat!
MANNY
Right in the middle between Devin and Ace for the first two innings. Then in the third, you and Ace switch. In the sixth…here, let me just tape the schedule to the wall.
MANNY stands still.
MANNY
Anyone gonna give me tape?
CHARLES
I have some! You never know when you need tape.
Everyone looks at the schedule.
HARRY
This isn’t fair! I don’t want to make hot dogs today!
MANNY
It’s only in the seventh inning.
LORENZO
Yeah and if there’s no cotton candy until the fourth inning, guess I’ll just have to leave and come back.
Everyone laughs. LORENZO walks away.
ROBERT
Oh, he’s actually leaving.
CHARLES
I like the schedule, personally.
ROBERT
Just because you’re new doesn’t mean you have to pretend to like it.
CHARLES
No really. I like having structure. I am a little disappointed you left out bumper cars but—
FELIX
I almost broke half the bones in my body.
CHARLES
Yeah, that.
MANNY
Places everyone. The game’s about to begin!
ROBERT
The bottom of the first inning is about to begin. You missed the top of the inning. That’s right, I actually watched the start of the game.
MANNY
Alright, we’ll have to do a little bit of a shortened version of the first inning but we can make this work.
CHARLES
What color is the bench supposed to be again?
ACE
I don’t think that’s on the schedule.
CHARLES
I’ll try yellow.
CHARLES turns the bench to be bright yellow.
ROBERT
No! Turn it off, quickly!
CHARLES turns the lights off.
ROBERT
We got in a lot of trouble one time for leaving the light on during the game. Apparently it’s a distraction for when the fielders run back to the wall and care more about catching a ball than having a fully working body.
CHARLES
Got it.
HARRY
I made pretzels, everyone.
MANNY
Harry, pretzels are the second inning snack. It was supposed to be peanuts in the first inning.
HARRY
Oops. Never mind guys, I guess you’ll have to hold on to those pretzels until they get cold.
DEVIN looks sad.
MANNY
You know what, fine. Eat the pretzels. Schedule broken.
Everyone cheers, which happened to be at the same time as the Primitives gave up a home run.
ROBERT
Alright, that doesn’t look good.
ACE
What do you say we all bolt?
Everyone runs away. An hour later, LORENZO returns. He takes some cotton candy from HARRY’s snack table and leaves again.