Sheryl walks into the locker room after the Cougars’ final game of the regular season.
Sheryl: All right, ladies, good effort. I know some of you - not naming names - are upset that I allowed us to lose this game -
Annie: I just don’t get it, coach. The win was in sight! You put me and Aubrey and Debra back in - no offense to everyone who was on the court - and we win!
Tara: None taken, I would’ve rather you played, too.
Sheryl: This game didn’t matter for our playoff position. We clinched the sixth seed with the loss of the Kestrels last night, because we own the tiebreaker over them. The Loggerheads already clinched the fifth seed because they won last night. We’re going to avoid the play-in round. There was no need to risk anyone’s health today. Plus, you could all use the rest after a long season.
Annie: But I hate losing!
Aubrey: Honey, you sound like Debra.
Debra: I know, it’s so beautiful. She’s a little me!
Sheryl: The starters got to play about fifteen minutes each, that was enough for the fans to feel like they got what they paid for, I’d say.
Annie: But I wanted to win!
Debra: Yeah, tell her!
Roseanne: You two need to stop being brats. Sometimes we just lose.
Debra: But we didn’t have to!
Sheryl: Debra, this is not your first rodeo. You’re a three-time champion. You know how important it is to rest up for the post-season.
Debra: Four-time champion.
Sheryl: Oh, right. I forgot about the one before I arrived.
Debra: But here you are, calling me selfish!
Annie: Coach, I’m sorry to make a scene. I just wish we’d have won. And I can’t stand being on the bench. I love to play basketball!
Sheryl: You’re gonna have plenty of time to do that in the playoffs. The better prepared we are, the longer we stay in. This is all about stacking days.
Annie: You’re right.
Sheryl: Thank you! I haven’t heard that nearly enough from my players over my career.
Melissa: I have a guess as to why.
Debra: I don’t bully anyone into silence, if that’s what you were implying.
Carmen: She does.
Debra: I’ll cut your brakes.
Sheryl: So, on to the actual game that was played… Tara, great game today!
Tara: We lost.
Sheryl: A team-leading sixteen points, that’s a career high!
Tara: But we lost.
Debra: Yeah, but you get to go out and talk to the media, which means we don’t have to. Thank you.
Sheryl: Tara, I’ve always said your biggest problem isn’t your talent level, it’s your confidence level. When you play without the stress, like today, great things happen. And Carrie Ann! Seven rebounds today, eight points on four-for-six shooting, and a steal. Serena, you had three blocks, including a critical stop in the last two minutes that swung the momentum towards us.
Debra: Not enough, but -
Sheryl: What I’m saying is, our bench is strong, and you all delivered in key ways tonight. We didn’t get the win, and we didn’t need it, but I’m still proud by how well you were able to hold up against Nashville, a playoff team who did have their starters in.
Carrie Ann: It felt nice to get out there and play consistently today. I know it can’t happen often, I know my place on the team. But it was freeing. And I felt the confidence you had in me, coach. I appreciated you using that challenge on that BS call.
Sheryl: It was ridiculous, I can’t believe I lost that challenge.
Debra: I can. They hate us!
Sheryl: Well, let’s hope they don’t continue to hate us in the playoffs.
Debra: They will.
Sheryl: Maybe we should work on ways to get them to like us better.
Aubrey: I think that’s against Debra’s religion.
Debra: You guys act like all I do is taunt the refs. I haven’t yelled at them in months!
Aubrey: Because you’d be suspended another game if you did.
Debra: That hasn’t stopped me in the past!
Sheryl: She’s right, it hasn’t.
Two days later…
Sheryl: I need to see better than that! You gotta want it more!
Annie: Coach, I’m tired. Can we just take a little break?
Sheryl: Do you want to beat the Mardi Gras or not?
Carmen: I thought you said rest was the most important thing?
Sheryl: Rest and preparation. I’m seeing a team woefully unprepared. Raise your hand right now if you’ve ever played in the playoffs before.
Debra: Just me? Wow. We’re screwed.
Melissa: And me! You didn’t even bother to look behind you!
Debra: Playing a single play-in game that you lost is not “playoff experience” in my eyes.
Melissa: That’s a lie! I played in three of those!
Debra: Oh, so you’re 0-3. Encouraging.
Sheryl: We are not “screwed,” we just need to prepare, which is what we’re doing.
Annie: Is running laps really “preparing” for a basketball game?
Sheryl: You wouldn’t be running laps if someone here could hit a free throw!
Fiona: I tried my hardest! I’m so sorry!
Debra: I’m so disappointed in you.
Fiona: Debra, I would never want to disappoint you, I just make silly mistakes sometimes.
Debra: Well, don’t make them. My legs are old and tired.
Aubrey: But when I say it, she yells at me!
Debra: You say it judgmentally.
Sheryl: All right, you guys can stop. Fiona, back to the line.
Debra: Oh god, we’re about to run another hundred laps.
Sheryl: When have I ever made you run a hundred laps because of one missed free throw?
Debra: That wasn’t a hundred laps just now?
Aubrey: Leave the game before it leaves you, Deb.
Debra: Coach, can they give you a tech for something that happens in practice
Rhonda: Don’t answer that, Sher. That is one scary white woman.
Alicia: I don’t think she’s so scary.
Rhonda: You’re only saying that ‘cause you’re younger than me! You don’t have the life experience to know that someone like her can mess you up bad. Your height and youth won’t save you!
Fiona: I’m lost on what I’m supposed to be doing right now.
Sheryl: Just shoot the damn free throw and ignore these hooligans.
Debra: Ah, goddammit, she missed.
Sheryl: You know what that means, ladies!
Annie: Someone, kill me now.
Sheryl: No whining, ladies! This is what you signed up for!
Debra: We signed up to shoot hoops.
Sheryl: We’re about to face one of the best teams in the league in the playoffs. We were 1-2 against them this season. We’re going to need to do a lot more than just practice shooting from the field. I know that’s the fun part, but we have to improve in every regard. Free throws gotta improve, defense gotta improve, handles gotta improve, everything.
Celia: That’s right, ladies! You should see the drills I used to make Sheryl and her teammates work on back in the day. She’s easy on you!
Sheryl: Ah, I don’t know if I agree with that.
Celia: Of course you don’t, you’ve never liked criticism.
Sheryl: Excuse me?
Debra: Oh, I’m liking this.
Sheryl: Don’t stir the pot, Debra.
Debra: I will stir that shit like I’m a witch and it’s my brew in a cauldron.
Sheryl: I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more appropriate simile in my life.
Debra: Are you implying -
Sheryl: Yes.
Debra: Fair enough.
The next week…
Sheryl: Ladies, we have given our all to prepare for this game today. I want you to win. I want to have set you all up for success. I want you to feel the glory of victory. But if today does not go our way, I still want you to hold your heads high. I want you to know that your effort has not been in vain.
Debra: She’s talking like we’ve already lost.
Melissa: I mean… we’ve seen the competition.
Sheryl: Any given team, any given day. That’s my philosophy. You don’t give up until it’s over. We can win this, and we will.
Annie: That’s more encouraging.
Debra: I don’t know why everyone is so on edge. Sure, this team hasn’t sniffed the playoffs in five years, but it’s not that different from a regular game.
Celia: Boy, it really has been a long time since you’ve been to the playoffs.
Debra: What is that supposed to mean?
Sheryl: You know quite well how much more intense it is, especially if it’s your first time here.
Carmen: I think we’re gonna do great. We have practically no expectations for ourselves, and that’s when we perform our best!
Fiona: I’m scared.
Debra: You’re scared of your own shadow!
Fiona: I am not! But I’m really scared of free throws. I’ve been scarred after that practice last week.
Debra: Nice going, coach.
Sheryl: I stand by my training methods. How was I to know she’d miss six free throws in a row and show zero improvement after all those punishment laps?
Aubrey: I mean... we could barely stand by the end. I’m not shocked she was missing those free throws.
Sheryl: She’s like that whether she’s tired or not, honestly.
Fiona: Shaq was bad at free throws.
Debra: Do not. Just… do not.
Later that day…
Marcia: We’re here in New Orleans for game one of the first round of the WBL playoffs between the hometown #3 seed Mardi Gras and the #6 seed Colorado Cougars.
George: Today’s game is one that’ll go down in history. Not only does it boast the highest game attendance in WBL history, it’s also the playoff debut of this season’s overwhelming favorite for Rookie of the Year, Annie Carter.
Marcia: It’s also the playoff debut of several other stars on the Cougars, including last year’s Rookie of the Year, Aubrey Billings, plus fellow starters Alicia Foley and Carmen Hale.
George: It’s a team with minimal playoff experience, save for veteran star Debra Andreesi, taking on one of the most experienced teams in the league, with several members of the 2020 championship team remaining on the roster.
Marcia: The Mardi Gras are nearly nine-point favorites in today’s matchup, having defeated the Cougars in two of their three regular season matchups.
George: Cougars coach Sheryl Wilson told reporters before the game that she was excited for her team to get some playoff experience today, adding that she’s proud of them for even making it this far after a tumultuous season that began with four straight losses.
Marcia: Mardi Gras coach Tanya Richardson, on the other hand, said she and her team are determined to finally make it to the finals for the first time in her tenure, having fallen short in game five of last year’s semifinals.
George: Your starters for tonight are the starters we’ve seen for much of the season… the Mardi Gras will start Reynolds, Hogan, Wellman, Arthur, and Greaves. The Cougars will start Carter, Andreesi, Hale, Foley, and Billings.
Debra: You ready, girls?
Annie: Very much so.
Carmen: I’m a little scared. Don’t tell Melissa. She’ll tattle on me to coach.
Debra: Melissa!
Carmen: Shut up!
Aubrey: Everyone, get in place. It’s time!
One hour later…
Sheryl: All right, this is not ideal.
Melissa: It’s terrible! And it’s not my fault!
Carmen: Is that necessary?
Melissa: I’m just saying, it couldn’t hurt to shake the lineups up. Maybe start someone new in the third quarter…
Sheryl: I believe in our starters.
Melissa: But, like… why?
Fiona: Debra’s played great!
Debra: Don’t flatter me. I’ve played like dirt. This is way harder than I remember!
Sheryl: Told you so!
Debra: You’re not supposed to do that. You’re supposed to be supportive.
Sheryl: Supportive, yes. Unable to call you out on nonsense? No.
Annie: Coach, can we talk?
Sheryl: Of course!
Annie: I’m really disappointed with myself.
Sheryl: You shouldn’t be. You haven’t done your best, sure, but this is your first playoff game ever. I just don’t want you getting even more in your head about this because you’re not playing as well as you expect to. It’s okay to have some nerves, and it’s okay for those nerves to affect you.
Annie: I’ve missed so many shots. I have… I don’t know how many points. Not many!
Sheryl: It’s all right. I am not disappointed in you.
Annie: But all the people watching are. I just know people are going to see this and assume I’m overhyped and not as good as people say.
Sheryl: Tune out the noise. It doesn’t matter. You are exactly who you think you are, whether you play well today or not. Everyone has a bad game! Debra’s had bad playoff games, and she’s the greatest the sport’s ever seen. But we still have half a game, it’s not lost yet.
Annie: We’re down twenty points.
Sheryl: Teams have made bigger comebacks than that! And so can we!
One hour later…
Sheryl: Ladies, I know. I feel and completely understand the disappointment. Is this what we wanted today? Not at all. It was a bad loss, we didn’t play team ball. It puts us in a bad place heading into game two. We need to win the next two games to advance - and one of those games is at our home court!. If we lose one of them, season’s over. But, like I said, it’s not always about the result today. Because of this loss, it makes us a better team, it makes you all better players, because you’ve gained experience. Sometimes, you have to lose to win.
Melissa: You know what you really have to do to win? Win.
Debra: That’s true. If only coach realized that.
Sheryl: I coached you to three titles. I think I know a decent amount about winning.
Aubrey: I think we can still win. The Mardi Gras won because we couldn’t shoot to save our lives today. If our shooting is more accurate, we can take the next two games.
Debra: But I was told shooting from the field wasn’t important.
Sheryl: No one said that.
Debra: Not as important as free throws!
Fiona: I hit my two free throws today!
Debra: Thank god! Otherwise, we’d have lost by twenty-five instead of twenty-three!
Later that night, at the hotel…
Aubrey: Babe, are you okay? You’re usually quiet. You always have something to say.
Annie: Oh, I’m just moping.
Aubrey: Why?
Annie: I made a fool out of myself today. Nine points? Four-for-sixteen shooting? Five turnovers? That’s not how an elite player performs when the pressure’s on. It’s just hitting me that I have so much more to learn.
Aubrey: Annie, this is not all on you. None of us played well. Debra’s got four titles, and she was struggling. She almost collapsed on that court. She had to be subbed out for a bit, because the pace was too much for her to keep up.
Annie: She still led the team. She’s the team leader I’ve always wanted to be.
Aubrey: It’s natural for a twenty-year veteran to be the team leader. You’re a rookie. You’ve put so much weight on your shoulders. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be Annie. So many people, myself included, love Annie.
Annie: That was very sweet, and I appreciate you trying to get me out of my funk. I have to ask, though: did you just say you love me?
Aubrey: We’ve spent just about every waking second the last five months together. We are never apart. It’s hard for me to imagine not spending time with you. Of course I love you.
Annie: This isn’t really how I expected we’d tell each other - us in a cheap hotel room, me in a raggedy old shirt, crying about losing a playoff game. But I love you, too.
Aubrey: See, today’s not all bad! Now, maybe we can use these good vibes as fuel for the next game.
Two days later…
George: I have to say, Marcia, Monday was a truly dismal night for Colorado, but they’re playing with a renewed vigor tonight.
Marcia: I agree, I’m very impressed with the turnaround. The lack of playoff experience sure showed in game one, but this is a very impressive showing, especially for rookie Annie Carter, who just drilled another three.
George: The Cougars lead is now up to four, one minute away from the final quarter.
Marcia: Coach Wilson told the media the team had some tough conversations after Monday’s game, and that they were looking to prove today that they belonged here in the playoffs.
George: And Tanya Robinson wants a timeout! A good time out, even with less than a minute in this quarter, as the Mardi Gras lost their narrow lead in the last few minutes, and the Cougars’ moment has only been growing.
A bit later…
Sheryl: All right, ladies, this is it! One minute left, we’re down one point. You’ve made me proud either way. I need you to know that. This game has surpassed every expectation I had. You are all such fighters.
Melissa: You said you thought we could win this game.
Sheryl: I knew we could. I didn’t say I expected it. We’ve over performed today.
Annie: So what’s the game plan?
Debra: Yeah, maybe let’s draw up a play instead of eulogizing the team before we’ve even lost.
Sheryl: We need a three. I know it’s risky, but we have to make a statement. So Annie, you’re taking that shot. And everyone else, your job’s to make sure that ball gets in her hands and that the Mardi Gras can’t block it or interfere with that shot in any way. That’s it.
Debra: Okay, so we’ve reached the “just start chucking” portion of the game.
Sheryl: No, we have not. Aubrey, I need you to screen like no one has ever screened before. Defend Annie like your life’s on the line.
Annie: Trust me, coach, Aubrey is very protective of me.
Sheryl: That’s very sweet, but not exactly relevant to this current situation. Carmen, when they gat that ball back, I need you to try and steal it. No one on this team is better at deflecting the ball and getting a steal than you. We need to score and get a stop to take this game.
Carmen: Got it!
Debra: What do I do?
Sheryl: You and Alicia need to be ready to rebound in case it misses.
Debra: Me? Rebounding?
Sheryl: Stop testing my patience. All right, everyone in place, let’s go!
George: And that’s gonna be an offensive foul on Billings, her fifth of the night. They’re gonna get her for a moving screen.
Sheryl: Are you kidding me? That was not a moving screen! She was set! Are you blind?
Marcia: Sheryl Wilson has already used both her challenges, so there’s nothing she can do about this one.
George: I didn’t see a moving screen here.
Marcia: Neither did I, to be honest.
Sheryl: This is bullshit! Are you trying to choose the outcome of the game?
George: Wow, they’re now gonna call a technical foul on coach Sheryl Wilson. That’s another tough break for the Cougars.
Sheryl: I can’t believe this.
Annie: Coach, it’s okay. We’re gonna be okay.
In the locker room…
Sheryl: Ladies… this is not how any of us wanted this to end. The calls there were not in our favor, and I am sorry for losing my temper.
Annie: No! Lose it more! I like the passion!
Debra: What she said!
Sheryl: I couldn’t be more proud of you all. This was a ragtag group of youngsters with minimal experience, and we made the playoffs. We gave one of the title favorites a tough time, we find’t let them walk all over us. We showed what we’re made of at every step of the way. Life’s not always easy, neither is basketball. But we’re a team, we’re a family, and we always showed up for one another. The season’s over, it is sad. But I just want you all to be proud. Don’t let the disappointment of loss fool you into believing this season was anything but a success. This was just the beginning of our journey. Onwards and upwards!
What did you think of this episode of Foul Play? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the season finale of Foul Play next Thursday!
