ADAM, CHASE, MADISON, LINCOLN, SAM, and REAGAN are all sitting at the bar of Lorenzo’s Kitchen by SugarCity. LORENZO is standing behind the bar.
LORENZO
I wish Garry was here.
CHASE
Your old coach?
LORENZO
No. The judge from Bake Your Heart Out. Wish someone drove him here too. I’ve heard he’s a terrible driver.
LINCOLN
How would you even know that?
LORENZO
Any Bake Your Heart Out fan knows that. Just read the behind-the-scenes footage.
LINCOLN
Read?
SAM
Let me interrupt and just point out that this is a restaurant. Can I just have a grilled cheese?
LORENZO
Yeah, but to be honest, you’re not the Sam I want to be serving right now.
SAM
What other Sam is there?!
LORENZO
Only the best co-host of Bake Your Heart Out!
ADAM
I know we should really just ignore Lorenzo here, but it is kinda weird how there’s a Sam and a Garry on that show, isn’t it? Also the names of two people Lorenzo knows.
SAM
There are a lot of Sams and a lot of Garrys out there. Just look at me. And someone PLEASE give me a grilled cheese. I don’t even care if it’s Lorenzo making it anymore.
LORENZO
I’ll have Frances make it.
SAM
Who the hell is Frances?!
HARRY approaches the bar.
HARRY
Lorenzo has informed me that he’ll be calling me Frances today.
MADISON
And you’re just gonna go along with it?
HARRY
Uh huh.
LORENZO
One grilled cheese for my second-favorite Sam, Frances.
HARRY walks into the kitchen and quickly returns with a grilled cheese.
SAM
This tastes microwaved.
HARRY
That it is!
LORENZO
Frances! I expected better of you. It looks very simplistic too, like the Hollywood Walk of Fame-inspired structure Mark made in that one episode!
CHASE
I guess he didn’t make much of a, well, mark. Get it?
ADAM
Chase, go or be quiet.
LORENZO
That’s in the behind the scenes footage! Have you guys been keeping up with Bake Your Heart Out? Be honest.
CHASE
Nope, just one big coincidence.
FRED walks over to the bar.
FRED
Good evening folks.
LORENZO
Hey Diane!
FRED looks behind him.
FRED
Still learning names. Which one is Diane?
LORENZO
You are, silly!
FRED stares blankly at LORENZO.
ADAM
Fred, just go along with it for today. I’m sure he’ll drop the schtick eventually.
FRED
I’m lost.
LORENZO
It’s like Bake Your Heart Out!
FRED
Bake your what off?
LORENZO
Bake Your Heart Out! Only the best cooking competition show ever!
FRED
This is a business, not one of your silly reality shows.
LORENZO
Would you change your mind if I told you Diane was almost nominated for a major award once?
FRED
How do you get almost nominated for a major award?
LORENZO
Don’t question it.
FRED
I won’t. But I will question your competency.
LORENZO
Don’t be a Charolette.
FRED
A Charolette?
LORENZO
A diva. A nightmare.
FRED
I’m a perfectionist. And you seemingly don’t care about this place or else you would drop the nonsense!
LORENZO
Understood. Sam, I’ll go back to the kitchen now and make you that grilled cheese you deserve.
LORENZO walks away.
FRED
Phew. At least that’s over with now.
LINCOLN
I am oddly a little intrigued about Bake Your Heart Out now, though.
ADAM
Yeah same.
FRED
I just don’t want Lorenzo being all delusional and going around like he’s on it.
REAGAN
Hey, Lorenzo may act...odd at times, but he means well and has he really hurt anyone?
FRED
I suppose not. Time for me to go home and watch some Bake Your Heart Off. Who wants to join me? At our own places, of course.
Everyone leaves except SAM. LORENZO returns with a grilled cheese.
LORENZO
Where’d everyone go?
SAM
You’re not going to believe me, but...they went to watch Bake Your Heart Out. I, apparently, no longer have a ride home.
CHASE comes running back into Lorenzo’s Kitchen by SugarCity.
SAM [sarcastically]
You came back for me.
SAM [to LORENZO]
Thanks for the grilled cheese, Lorenzo.
LORENZO
Call me Lorensie. It’s a combination of Lorenzo and Leslie, a producer on Bake Your Heart Out!
SAM
Fine. Thank you Lorensie.
LORENZO
You’re welcome.
SAM finishes eating her grilled cheese. She and CHASE leave.