CHASE, ADAM, SAM, MADISON, LINCOLN, and REAGAN walk into Lorenzo’s Kitchen by SugarCity. LORENZO greets them.
LORENZO
Notice anything different?
MADISON
No, but you did tell us you were getting new chairs so I assume that happened.
LORENZO
It did! New bar stools too. You’ll be the very first to sit on them.
Everyone walks over to the bar and sits down.
LINCOLN
Ow! This hurts.
CHASE
I think my seat broke.
REAGAN
The liner on my cushion is already starting to rip.
LORENZO
Come on, they can’t be that bad.
SAM
I’ll gladly get up and let you sit on my bar stool. I already need a break from that.
SAM stands up and LORENZO sits down in her seat. LORENZO makes a face clearly expressing discomfort.
LORENZO
Oh no.
ADAM
What are you going to do about this?
LORENZO
I’m sure no one else will notice.
HARRY runs over to LORENZO.
HARRY
Hey, while you were all fooling around someone walked into this place and their chair collapsed when they sat down.
CHASE
I’ve already dealt with one lawsuit at this place.
HARRY
They were cool about it, but the point is the chair didn’t hold up.
LORENZO
They must be fat.
HARRY
Nope, not at all.
ADAM
I’m surprised Fred hasn’t noticed any of this yet.
LORENZO
I don’t think Fred’s showing up today, thankfully. I can’t have you guys cover for me every time you come here!
LINCOLN
Lorenzo, I really think you need to do something about this. I’ll help you put out the old chairs.
LORENZO
Already got rid of them. I’ll just call the company that supplied the chairs and work things out.
LORENZO picks up a phone and calls.
LORENZO [on the phone]
Hi, this is Lorenzo from Lorenzo’s Kitchen by SugarCity, I’m calling to complain about the chairs delivered to us via LorenzoChair.
LORENZO pauses to listen to what the person is saying.
LORENZO [on the phone]
Yes, I understand the irony here.
After another pause:
LORENZO
Okay, I understand. Bye now.
LORENZO hangs up.
CHASE
What did they say?
LORENZO
That it’s a common problem.
ADAM
What do you mean? Please tell me you’re the only one who’s called to complain.
LORENZO
No, fifth. As it turns out, they’re only more affordable because they’re lower quality.
REAGAN
I could’ve told you that.
LORENZO
One of my many pieces of legislation is not off to a good start. We have to make amendments to the bill.
SAM
House session is done for the year, remember?
LORENZO
I have an idea.
LORENZO runs to the kitchen. He quickly reappears with a fully stocked cart of cotton candy. LORENZO proceeds to stick a lot of cotton candy on top of every seat’s cushion, as well as some underneath the chairs to stop them from falling. He walks back to the bar.
LORENZO
Nothing a little cotton candy can’t fix.
CHASE
I guess that’s an alternative for now. But the Affordable Chair Act is a disaster and there are no new chairs in sight. Fred will not like this.
SAM
In fairness to Fred, I don’t think that’s an opinion nobody else will hold.
LORENZO
There’s going to be another shipment of LorenzoChairs tomorrow. It’ll be okay. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have cotton candy to make.
LORENZO walks back to the kitchen.
MADISON
Safe to say we’re not getting any food or drinks today?
ADAM
That’s what I’m betting on. Let’s get out of here.