The Bullpen Season 3 Episode 10: Bullpen Captain


ROBERT, MANNY, FELIX, ACE, DEVIN, HARRY, and LORENZO are all sitting on the bench in the Indianapolis Primitives’ bullpen.

DEVIN
So Harry...

HARRY
What?

DEVIN
You know.

HARRY
I don’t.

DEVIN
Any reason why you’re on the bench?

HARRY
Why wouldn’t I be? It’s air conditioned.

DEVIN
It’s just that you’re not a player.

HARRY
You’re right. Neither are you.

LORENZO
Leave him alone, he had a tough day at Lorenzo’s Kitchen yesterday.

HARRY
We had like two customers and I hid in the back of the kitchen, remember?

LORENZO
You were hiding there? I thought you were just being a creep.

HARRY
No...anyways, do you all really want food right now? Not like you’ve done anything to work up an appetite.

FELIX
I’ll take something with sugar in it.

LORENZO
You sure you can handle that?

ROBERT
Lorenzo, just because you can’t handle sugar doesn’t mean no one else can either.

MANNY looks over to ACE.

MANNY
Ace, you look tired. What’s going on?

ACE
Not anything of note. But you know how I said some people don’t like the letter X a few weeks ago? Well, not there’s an argument between them and the people who don’t like the letter T. I personally am a fan of the letter M, so it’s kind of stressful.

MANNY
Um...what?

HARRY
I think it’s best we ignore that.

ACE
You know I’m messing with you, right?

MANNY
Actually, no, but I’m very happy to hear it.

ROBERT
So you don’t actually like the letter M?

ACE
No I do. It’s my favorite letter.

ROBERT
Should I ask why?

ACE
I just like it.

ROBERT
Okay then.

DEVIN
Hey guys, are any of you watching the game?!

HARRY
Not me, what’s happening in it?

DEVIN
How should I know? I was just asking you.

HARRY
Look at the field.

DEVIN looks at the field.

DEVIN
There are a bunch of people standing there. Same place they always stand. So boring.

FELIX
Tell me about it. I want to pitch. All it took was one mistake.

MANNY
Hey, is Lorenzo sleeping?

ROBERT looks at LORENZO.

ROBERT
LORENZO!

LORENZO wakes up, startled.

LORENZO
What’d you do that for? I was just getting to the good part!

ROBERT
Huh?

LORENZO
I was in this room with tons of cheeseburgers and I was about to get the Presidential Medal of Freedom. I think it was because I broke a record for something. It was between me and some Senator and they gave it to me. All my good dreams just have to end early.

ROBERT
Focus on the game. Or don’t. Just try not to fall asleep.

LORENZO
Who are you, the captain?

ROBERT
Yes, and you knew that already.

FELIX
It’s not a real position.

ROBERT
Thank you for reminding me, Felix, that I don’t have any real power. It’s fun to call myself bullpen captain though.

LORENZO
When was this decided, anyways?

ROBERT
At the start of the season.

LORENZO
Why?

ROBERT
Seniority.

LORENZO
I’ve been here as long as you have.

Everyone looks at one another.

LORENZO
What?

MANNY
You want to be co-bullpen captain, don’t you?

LORENZO
Yeah.

HARRY
And I want to be a chef, doesn’t mean I am one.

ACE
Should we have a vote? I endorse Lorenzo.

HARRY
I endorse Not Lorenzo.

FELIX
Keep me out of this.

ROBERT
Okay it’s decided, Lorenzo and I are co-bullpen captains.

DEVIN
Should we have a ceremony?

MANNY
No, that would be ridiculous and counter-productive.

DEVIN
What else do we have to do?

MANNY
Fine. Consider this a ceremony.

LORENZO
Actually, my first move as captain is to ask you all to come to Lorenzo’s Kitchen. I have some stuff for you. We can have my ceremony there.

HARRY
I’m staying here. This bench is comfortable and I don’t like where the Lorenzo’s Kitchen thing is going.

FELIX
Why not?

HARRY
It’d probably involve me doing something.

ROBERT
Are you quitting?

HARRY
Nope. I’ll be there eventually, I guess.

Everyone else shrugs and leaves.
______________

Read about their night at Lorenzo’s Kitchen on Bar Exam Season 2 Episode 10 by clicking here!

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