ROBERT, HARRY, MANNY, LORENZO, DEVIN, FELIX, and ACE are all pacing around the bullpen. It is an away game.
DEVIN
That bench isn’t comfortable.
MANNY
It’s like almost all other benches in the league. You’ve sat on benches that aren’t ours before.
DEVIN
Yeah, but I felt like sitting on something comfortable today.
FELIX
We all want to sit on something comfortable. Let’s just make the best of it.
HARRY
You are all very spoiled, did you know that?
DEVIN
Yes Harry, we knew that.
LORENZO
I just wanted to be able to sit on a bench that glows blue, is that too much to ask?
HARRY
Yeah.
MANNY
There are other things we could think about to get our minds off this. What about...anyone have any ideas?
ACE
I don’t.
DEVIN
Me neither.
ROBERT
We could watch the game.
Everyone stares blankly at ROBERT.
ROBERT
It’s a running joke. You get it Lorenzo, right?
LORENZO
That’s something which is just too dark and scary to be funny.
FELIX
I wouldn’t mind watching the game myself.
MANNY
Knock yourself out.
LORENZO
That sounds a little harsh.
ROBERT
He’s talking figuratively, Lorenzo.
LORENZO
Oh, so different from the time he told me to do it?
MANNY
I was talking figuratively then too.
LORENZO
You mean I knocked myself out for nothing the other day?
MANNY
Yep.
LORENZO
I’ll have to keep that in mind for the future. Thank you for bringing that to my attention, I now see that statement in a new light.
MANNY
Uh oh.
FELIX
What?
MANNY
Pitching coach is coming. What’s his name again?
ROBERT
Jason. He was a bullpen member a couple years ago, then he was the bullpen coach. Now he’s the pitching coach through no merit of his own.
JASON
Hey.
LORENZO
Hi Jason.
JASON
Lorenzo! You’re back!
LORENZO
Yeah, it’s a part time gig.
JASON
You travel to away games?
LORENZO
It’s no big deal, this place is like half an hour away from our home field. Plus, I get to leave whenever I want.
JASON
Alright, I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that. Anyways, long story short, Kurt and Eli ended up on the same team this year. We’re playing them today?
DEVIN
Who the hell are they?
ACE
Eli? Oh, he traded me! What a coincidence!
JASON
We’re playing your old team and you didn’t notice?
ACE
Nope. I don’t pay attention to the game all that much.
JASON
Sounds like you’re fitting right in.
DEVIN
And who’s Kurt?
JASON
He’s starting for the other team today.
LORENZO
Want us to heckle him?
JASON
What?! No! I told him he should come over to the bullpen and say hi.
ACE
That him behind you?
JASON turns around.
JASON
There’s no one behind—oh, he’s right next to me now! Hey Kurt!
KURT
What?
JASON
Good to see you again.
KURT
Great, so I have to pitch now...
JASON
You the star?
KURT
Kind of, actually. But how are things going at my old bullpen?
ROBERT
Lorenzo came back.
KURT
That didn’t answer my question.
MANNY
I’d say they’re going fine. Although, I do deserve to be manager.
FELIX
And I deserve to be a pitcher.
DEVIN
And I deserve to not be anywhere near a baseball.
KURT
Got it. You guys have one another on your fantasy teams?
ROBERT
Not this year.
KURT
Well it was good to see you al—Eli, what are you doing here?
ELI
Hanging out here.
ELI, KURT, and JASON all hop over the short outfield wall and into the bullpen.
LORENZO
Good to see you all again. This almost makes up for the bench being terrible!
ELI
Okay, I’m sure the bench isn’t THAT bad.
ELI sits on the bench.
ELI
Wow, this actually is pretty uncomfortable. We really should put in a heater for it.
KURT
I’m sure our guys don’t mind as much, given they actually warm up and go in the game.
ELI
True.
HARRY
Anyone want something to eat? I have dairy-free pretzels!
JASON
All pretzels are dairy free.
HARRY
Look at the bag, says dairy-free right on it.
JASON
Oh?
HARRY
So I’ll take that as a no?
LORENZO
We’ll have all of them.
HARRY
Anyone who isn’t Lorenzo want to give me an answer?
ROBERT
What Lorenzo said, I guess. Can never have too many pretzels!
HARRY
Yeah you can.
ELI
Anyone want to know what it’s like to be a general manager?
ACE
A little bit, actually.
ELI
It’s awesome. You get to sit in an air conditioned box and watch the game from there. The only thing I didn’t like about it at first are the numbers.
DEVIN
Isn’t it all numbers-based?
ELI
A lot of it is. I’m getting the hang of it though.
KURT
And I could really get used to being a starting pitcher.
FELIX
Me too.
KURT
I thought you were in the bullpen?
MANNY
Don’t remind him.
ELI
I thought you were supposed to be a good pitcher, Felix.
FELIX
I am a good pitcher.
ELI
Hmm...you thinking what I’m thinking?
FELIX
What are you thinking?
ELI
I put you on my fantasy team. I have an extra spot.
FELIX
Guess that’s as good as I could expect at this point.
KURT
I really do need to get to the mound now though.
ACE
You guys should all take a picture together.
LORENZO
Good idea. I’ll take it.
ACE
I’ll take it. You’re gonna be in it.
JASON
Can you take a panorama? I don’t think we’re supposed to be standing too close to one another.
ACE
Alright everyone, spread out. Devin, Manny, Felix, Harry, get behind me.
DEVIN, MANNY, FELIX, and HARRY stand behind ACE. ROBERT, LORENZO, ELI, KURT, and JASON stand in front of ACE for the panorama. ACE takes the panorama.
ACE
Perfect.