The Bullpen Season 3 Episode 13: New Uniforms

  

FELIX, MANNY, ACE, DEVIN, and LORENZO are all sitting on the bullpen bench, which is lit yellow and using the built-in air conditioning. HARRY sits off to the side, behind an empty snack table.

LORENZO
Just to confirm, there are no snacks today?

HARRY
We’ve been through this. You told me to keep them all at Lorenzo’s Kitchen.

LORENZO
I told you to keep them in a place hidden from everyone else.

HARRY
And that I did.

ACE
Where’s Robert, anyways?

FELIX
I think I see him walking toward us.

ROBERT approaches the bullpen. 

ROBERT
Hey everyone. Guess what I did!

FELIX
Do we have to?

ROBERT
I’ll give you a hint: they’re in the bag I’m carrying.

FELIX
I gathered that.

LORENZO
Is it—

ROBERT
Don’t say cotton candy.

LORENZO
I was gonna say hot dog ice cream. 

ROBERT
It’s not. Say hello to your new jerseys!

Everyone looks confused.

ROBERT
Come on, try them on! 

ACE
Are they any different from the ones we’re wearing now?

ROBERT
They’re blue!

DEVIN
Blue’s my third-favorite color!

ROBERT
Does that mean you like them or don’t like them?

DEVIN
They’re better than the current ones.

FELIX
You do realize uniforms usually have people’s last names on them, not their first names, right?

LORENZO
Or words! This one guy on TV has a jersey that says Piece. The announcer said so himself. 

ACE
As in piece of cake or world peace?

LORENZO
Hmm...I never really thought of it. I had assumed piece of pie. 

FELIX
Pretty sure you’re wrong there.

ROBERT
Felix, to answer your question, I don’t know what Harry’s last name is so I figured to streamline it. First names only.

DEVIN
Mine is spelled wrong. It’s Devin with an i, not an o. But thanks for the color choice!

MANNY
These are great and all. Just one thing.

ROBERT
What’s wrong?

MANNY
It’s kind of late in the season. I figured we would wait until next year to get new jerseys.

ACE
Who said anything about getting new jerseys at all? 

FELIX
We got new jerseys late in the season a couple years back. Why, did you have a new jersey in mind?

MANNY
Haven’t thought about it. 

HARRY
All in favor of these new jerseys?

Everyone raises their hands. 

HARRY
There you have it. Six to nothing vote, we’re keeping the jerseys. 

MANNY hears the phone ring. He answers it.

MANNY (on the phone)
But the bases are loaded...Doesn’t matter that there’s two outs, you’re asking for four runs...Okay, I’ll tell him.

MANNY hangs up the phone.

MANNY
Apparently we’re close to clinching the division. Would be nice to have home field advantage in the playoffs.

LORENZO
Tell me about it. Lorenzo’s Kitchen is gonna have so many people during the playoffs. Bars can now open at full capacity, too. 

FELIX
Lorenzo, I’m pretty sure he means it would be nice for the baseball team. 

MANNY
None of you want to know what the phone call was about?

ROBERT
Not at all.

MANNY
Lorenzo, you’re in.

FELIX
Excuse me?

MANNY
Yep. Jason called. They want Lorenzo to pitch. 

LORENZO
But the bases are loaded. And I haven’t gone in the game for...how many games has it been now?

HARRY
You’ve been on the field more times than you’ve played this season. 

LORENZO
Perfect. Alright, I’ll do this for Lorenzo’s Kitchen.

LORENZO jogs onto the field with his new uniform on. JASON notices, but doesn’t bother to say anything. 

LORENZO closes his eyes and throws the ball. It flies past the catcher’s head. LORENZO runs to cover the plate and gets the runner from third base out. The game is over.

LORENZO walks back to the dugout.

LORENZO
I saved Lorenzo’s Kitchen, everyone!

FELIX
Not the way you should be looking at it, but whatever works. 

LORENZO
Must be my lucky uniform. 

FELIX
Maybe. Probably not. 

As the game is over, everyone leaves. 

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