College Season 2 Episode 10: Andrew’s Ex



NUMB HUMOR STUDIOS PRESENTS:
COLLEGE
Season 2 Episode 10
"Andrew's Ex"
Written by
William Fry & Michael Ledesma
2.
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Edison and Megan are sitting on the couch. Andrew and Sarah are standing in front of them smiling and holding hands. No one is talking.
EDISON
Do you need something or...
ANDREW
Do y’all not see what’s going on here.
MEGAN
Not really.
SARAH
We’re together!
Edison and Megan do not react.
ANDREW
Guys. We’re a couple now.
EDISON
Ok.
ANDREW
Ok? Is that all you have to say?
EDISON
Honestly dude, I’d be a little more surprised if this had happened a lot sooner. Now, it just seems like... another thing to happen to us.
MEGAN
Well I’m happy for you two. Even though I barely know Sarah and have little faith in Andrew’s taste in women.
ANDREW
What?
MEGAN
Congrats!
EDISON
Hurrah. Another couple is born.

3.
ANDREW
Thank you... both of you.
MEGAN
So what’s y’alls next step?
SARAH
Well, we were thinking of going on our first date tonight?
EDISON
Y’all haven’t been on a first date yet? What did you do during the break?
ANDREW
Well, Sarah actually had to go home to her family and I was in the hospital because I broke my tailbone when I was confessing my love for her.
EDISON
Does it still hurt to poop?
ANDREW
I'd rather not say.
SARAH
We kept in constant contact though.
ANDREW
Yes, and tonight, will be the first official date of Sandrew.
MEGAN
Sandrew?
ANDREW
It’s our couple name. Is it bad?
MEGAN
Ummmmmmm
Andrew looks at Sarah.
SARAH
We’ll work on it.
INT. THE COLLEGE CLUB - NIGHT
Edison sits at a table looking depressed fiddling with a milkshake. Megan joins him.

4.
MEGAN
Hey.
EDISON
I wish I was 21 so I could drink my sorrows away.
MEGAN
Ok, what’s wrong?
EDISON
Don't get me wrong, I’m happy for Andrew and Sarah but-
MEGAN
But?
EDISON
When will I find my special someone? I mean, I’m over Brittaney and my sex magnetism has been non-stop but... none of the girls I go out with... they don’t... make me feel the way Brittaney made me feel.
MEGAN
Look Edison I’ve never felt the way you feel about Brittaney with anyone.
EDISON
Really?
MEGAN
Yeah.
EDISON
But I thought you were a sex magnet like me?
MEGAN
Oh I am. I have no issue getting a date.
EDISON
So what should I do?
MEGAN
You do what I do. Find a beautiful woman.

5.
EDISON
You know, if you were straight, I think you and I would be a good couple.
MEGAN
I don’t think so, you’re not my type.
Megan leaves. Edison goes back to his shake. A beautiful woman around Edison’s age appears. She is redhead and is wearing a skirt. Her name is HANNAH.
HANNAH
Is this seat taken.
EDISON
No.
Hannah takes a seat.
EDISON
Ummmmmmm. So, you come here often?
HANNAH
No. It’s my first time at the university. I’m considering transferring.
EDISON
Well if you need a tour, let me know.
HANNAH
Are you a good tour guide?
EDISON
I've been known to be.
HANNAH
What kind of fun things is there to do around here?
EDISON
My place is party central. Always a great time there.
HANNAH
I'll have to stop by sometime to check it out.
EDISON
So why this university?

6.
HANNAH
It was actually my first choice but then I broke up with my boyfriend and he was also going here.
EDISON
Was he a dick?
HANNAH
You could say that. That’s all in the past, I’m single now.
Edison and Hannah smile at each other.
INT. ITALIAN RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Andrew and Sarah are sitting in a nice Italian restaurant. They are both dressed semi casual. They look at each other awkwardly.
ANDREW
You look great.
SARAH
Thanks. You too.
Awkward silence.
ANDREW
Are first dates always this... awkward.
SARAH
Yeah.
ANDREW
So... what should we talk about?
SARAH
What are you and Edison up to?
ANDREW
Ah well, he's trying to get on Shark Tank to pitch his machine washable condom idea.
SARAH
He’s still on about that?
ANDREW
Yeah. He’s convinced it will revolutionize sex.

7.
SARAH
I’m sure it will.
They both chuckle and return to awkward silence.
ANDREW
This is crazy. I mean we’ve known each other for more than a year but we can barely talk to each other now.
SARAH
We’re more than just friends now.
ANDREW
Right. We’re uhhhhh... a couple.
Andrew takes a sip of water.
SARAH
We’re a couple. Also there’s the fact that most first dates end in sex.
Andrew chokes on his water.
PAUSE.
Andrew and Sarah stare at each other.
ANDREW
Are we- are we going to... do sex tonight?
SARAH
I mean, I’m down if you’re down.
ANDREW
Oh I’m definitely down I just want to make sure you’re down. You know, consent.
SARAH
Well if you're down then I’m down.
ANDREW
I-I’m down... for the sex.
Andrew and Sarah stare at each other.
ANDREW
Should we eat first or-

8.
SARAH
If you want to we can.
ANDREW
I think I can survive. Can you?
SARAH
Yeah.
They stare at each other.
They stand up quickly and begin to leave. A waiter comes over with their food. Andrew throws a bunch of bills on the table. Andrew and Sarah leave.
EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS - NIGHT
Edison and Hannah walk around the campus.
EDISON
And that's the library. I try to avoid it if I can. Too much learning.
HANNAH
Thank you for the tour.
EDISON
My pleasure.
HANNAH
Your girlfriend is a lucky girl.
EDISON
Actually, I’m single.
HANNAH
Really? Interesting.
Both lean into a kiss.
THE NEXT MORNING
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Andrew and Edison both exit their rooms at the same time. They give each other an insinuating look and nod with respect for the other. They go to the kitchen and make cereal.

9.
EDISON
I see that you and Sarah decided to get the first date sex out of the way.
ANDREW
And I see you finally started moving on. Who's the lucky woman?
EDISON
Oh man, she is amazing. She is beautiful and smart. I definitely think there's something there.
ANDREW
Good for you man. I'm happy for you.
Sarah and Hannah enter the kitchen. Andrew drops the box of cereal.
ANDREW
Hannah?!
HANNAH
Andrew?!
SARAH & EDISON
You two know each other?!
ANDREW
No. No not really.
HANNAH
Really?! That's how you're going to treat your high school ex-girlfriend?
SARAH
High school girlfriend?
EDISON
Ex?
SARAH
Andrew?
ANDREW
Yes we dated in high school. Nothing serious.
HANNAH
We dated for three years.

10.
SARAH
Three years?!
HANNAH
Yep until he broke up with me over text!
Awkward silence.
EDISON
Oh my gosh!
SARAH
What?!
EDISON
Andrew and I had sex with the same woman. Oh man oh man oh man.
ANDREW
Relax man we didn't do it.
HANNAH
Yeah, cause every time I’d invite you over, you would make up some excuse. I was starting to think you were gay. Clearly you're not.
SARAH
I'm going to go.
ANDREW
No please stay.
SARAH
No, I think I’m going to go.
Sarah grabs her things and leaves. Megan exits her room and sees Hannah.
MEGAN
Hannah?!
Edison and Andrew stare at Megan with shocked looks.
HANNAH
I'm going to go too.
Hannah grabs her things and leaves.
EDISON
(To Megan)
Did you?

11.
MEGAN
No, I just heard y’all saying her name.
EDISON
Andrew, why did you not tell me about your high school girlfriend.
ANDREW
Why did you sleep with her?
EDISON
You know, now that I think about it, she did mention an Andrew.
ANDREW
How many other Andrews do you know?
Edison thinks.
EDISON
Three.
ANDREW
You're unbelievable.
EDISON
It's not my fault. She's way out of your league. How was I supposed to know you were the Andrew she was talking about.
MEGAN
What exactly happened between you two?
ANDREW
Everything was great at first. We were in love, High School sweethearts. We even planned on going to the same University together.
MEGAN
So what happened?
ANDREW
By the time we graduated, we had drifted apart. So I broke up with her.
MEGAN
That doesn't sound that bad.

12.
ANDREW
I know. The text message was perfectly crafted.
MEGAN
Whoa whoa whoa, you broke up with her through a text?
ANDREW
Yes.
MEGAN
Well, there's your problem. Nobody wants to be broken up with over text.
ANDREW
But it's easy. No confrontation.
EDISON
Andrew, even I know not to break up with a girl over text.
ANDREW
Ok fine. I probably shouldn't have texted her. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go salvage my new relationship before it crumbles.
EDISON
And I need to salvage MY new relationship.
ANDREW
What?
EDISON
Hannah.
ANDREW
No no no no no no no, you are not going to date her.
EDISON
Why not? Because she's your ex?
ANDREW
How would you feel if I started dating Brittaney.
EDISON
Not funny dude.

13.
MEGAN
Ok let's settle down. Both of you. Take a seat.
Andrew and Edison take a seat.
MEGAN
Edison, it would be awkward if you dated Hannah.
ANDREW
Thank you.
MEGAN
And you Andrew should be happy that Edison has found someone he likes. You're his friend.
PAUSE.
ANDREW
You're right. I'm sorry Edison.
EDISON
I'm sorry too. I won't date Hannah.
ANDREW
No you should. You two would actually make a great couple.
EDISON
Thanks man.
MEGAN
Ok. Now you two can go.
Andrew and Edison leave.
MEGAN
Straight men. So emotional.
INT. THE COLLEGE CLUB - DAY
Hannah sits in The College Club. Edison appears at her table.
EDISON
Hey.
HANNAH
Hello.

14.
EDISON
I know that was a little awkward, but if you go here, we could see where this goes.
HANNAH
I'm not going to transfer.
EDISON
Oh.
HANNAH
Yeah. I actually like the school I'm at now. Just wanted to check out other opportunities. I’m really sorry.
EDISON
No it's cool, I understand. I should head back.
Edison leaves. As he leaves, his eyes begin to water.
INT. COLLEGE DORM HALLWAY - DAY
Andrew knocks on Sarah's door. She answers.
ANDREW
I didn't tell you about Hannah, because we dated in high school. I didn't think it was important. I was wrong.
PAUSE.
SARAH
I understand.
ANDREW
You do?
SARAH
I had a few high school boyfriends.
ANDREW
How many?
SARAH
I could tell you. Or, we could have some fun. My roommate’s gone.

15.
ANDREW
As much as I would like to, I actually got to go give another apology.
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY.
Hannah approaches her car. Andrew runs up behind her.
ANDREW
Hannah wait!
HANNAH
What?
ANDREW
I'm sorry. For breaking up with you over a text. I shouldn't have done that. It was the cowards way out. You deserved better.
HANNAH
Thank you. I really appreciate that. You and that Sarah look like a good couple.
ANDREW
I hope we are. I think you and Edison will be one also.
HANNAH
We're not going to date.
ANDREW
What?
HANNAH
He seems like a nice guy, but I'm not transferring and I don't do long distance.
ANDREW
I see.
HANNAH
I should get going. Bye Andrew.
ANDREW
Bye.

16.
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Andrew enters the apartment. Megan is sitting on the couch.
ANDREW
Is Edison here?
MEGAN
He's in his room. Hannah-
ANDREW
I know.
Andrew joins Megan on the couch.
MEGAN
You and Sarah patch things up?
ANDREW
Yeah.
PAUSE
ANDREW
What are we going to do about Edison?
MEGAN
I don't know.
END.

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