Bake Your Heart Out Season 1 Episode 7 - Physical

 Bake Your Heart Out Season 1, Episode 7

Garry is visiting his doctor, Dr. Lehman, for his yearly physical.
Garry: So, what’s the news?
Dr. Lehman: Well Garry, I’m just glad you got your blood work done ahead of this appointment.
Garry: I know, it’s so much easier to get the results in person than it is on the phone.
Dr. Lehman: That’s not why I’m saying that. This is going to be hard to tell you.
Garry: What is it? Am I dying?
Dr. Lehman: We all are.
Garry: That’s not an encouraging response.
Dr. Lehman: Garry, you have hyperglycemia. High blood sugar. You’re pre-diabetic.
Garry: What? How am I going to do my job? I eat desserts for a living.
Dr. Lehman: I know that. Everyone knows that. It’s a very devastating diagnosis, especially for someone like you. However, you can reverse course.
Garry: How did this happen?
Dr. Lehman: You’ve gained quite a bit of weight in the past few years. Then you’ve lost it. Then gained again. Then lost it. Yo-yo dieting is not good for your health.
Garry: I just gain it when we’re filming the show and lose it right after.
Dr. Lehman: Yeah, that’s not good. How many sugary foods are you eating besides the stuff on the show?
Garry: Well, whatever craft services gets us that day. And I’ll usually have some frappuccino or something from Starbucks. Carly likes for me to pick up some donuts on my way home. We have dessert after dinner. Then I’ll eat half a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream while I watch TV.
Dr. Lehman: At least we’ve identified the problem. None of this is normal. This doesn’t need to affect your job at all. Just cut the unnecessary additional sweets out and you’ll be okay. But maybe try not to go back for second or third or fourth bites of every dish on the show from now on. That’ll help, too.
The next day, on set…
Garry: Can I talk with you all for a minute?
Sam: What’s wrong? Did you find another ugly sweater to torture us with?
Garry: No. I’d like to talk about it in my dressing room. It’s pretty sensitive information.
Sam: Are you about to tell us your Social Security number or something?
Garry: Can you guys just come here?
Leslie: Of course we can, Garry. I’m supposed to have a meeting with Paul later today, so this conversation can’t delay filming, but we have a few minutes until we have to shoot.
Frances: Speaking of which, welcome back Diane!
Diane: I still can’t believe you all figured it out.
Frances: We’re just that smart. You should know that by now.
Leslie: Frances and Garry knew nothing. I did. And I told them. You should thank me for not waking up with a horse’s head in your bed. Frances was about there.
Diane: What did Diana do?
Frances: She forgot the name of my beloved Mr. Snuggles!
Garry: Guys, I think we’re going off-topic here.
Leslie: Oh my god, you’re right! Meeting in Garry’s room everyone!
In Garry’s dressing room…
Garry: That you all for coming to talk with me. It took us a while but we finally got here.
Diane: I’m a caring person so I’m going to ask. What’s going on, Garry?
Garry: Here we go. So, yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.
Diane: How did it go?
Garry: Getting to that. Not well. I am pre-diabetic. Dr. Lehman told me to cut back on sugary foods.
Leslie: But -
Garry: I know.
Frances: And -
Garry: Uh-huh. It’s gonna be a hard transition period.
Leslie: What about the show? Can you still be a judge?
Garry: Of course! This show pays for my house, which is beautiful. That beautiful house in turn pays for my wife, also beautiful and out of my league, to remain happy as she carries our child inside her. Without this job, that probably goes away because Carly and I have an addiction to spending money.
Sam: I don’t have a joke for that because that’s just sad.
Leslie: What can we do to help you, Garry?
Garry: There’s not really anything you guys can do. The doctor said I can eat all the sweets here, I just have to cut them out at home. He also told me not to keep going back for more on every dish but let’s not go too crazy.
Leslie: I wish there was something we could do to support you. I feel bad grabbing cookies and muffins from the craft services table when you can’t eat them.
Sam: And we all know how much Leslie loves a good chocolate chip muffin.
Diane: It’s a problem, dear.
Leslie: I don’t eat that many.
Frances: Only four a day.
Leslie: I really eat that many?
Sam: You do. Not all at once though. You quickly wrap them all up in a napkin and run them to your office and think we don’t notice. We do.
Leslie: So it seems like I may have a problem with sweets myself.
Garry: Yeah, but you’re not pre-diabetic.
Leslie: Doesn’t matter. It’s still a problem. Garry, I know how to support you.
Garry: Oh no. Is it gonna be annoying?
Leslie: None of my ideas ever are! So here’s this one, you can all thank me in a moment. This entire ragtag group of five is going to cut out the sweets. Garry will do it because he has to, the rest of us will do it because we’re supportive and kind ladies. Since Garry’s doing it to try and get healthy, I think we should also all be working out. Maybe we can go to the gym together or go for walks around the studio? What do you all think?
Garry: I think it’s very sweet of you to offer to do all this so I won’t die. However, it’s not necessary. You guys are all perfectly healthy, I’m the only one who needs the help.
Diane: I think it’s a great idea, actually. I just go home and watch MSNBC all day after work while I drink margaritas and cry about the way the country is and also the way my life is. I suppose I’d have to give up on that habit anyway so it’ll make room for some exercise.
Sam: Oh no, you can’t give up your booze and cry! There isn’t even that much sugar in a margarita.
Diane: Not the way I make it.
Frances: I’m on board with it. I went t the doctor over the holidays last year and my doctor said it was as if my blood was made of candy canes and maple syrup.
Leslie: That can’t be good.
Frances: Yeah. I think it might be because I just ate half a container of cookies before I went to get my blood tested but I still think cutting down on sugar is a good idea.
Leslie: Alright so that’s three of us. Sam?
Sam: Oh, sorry, I wasn’t listening. I’m too busy thinking about what Diane could possibly be putting in her margaritas.
Diane: Caramel syrup. And chocolate syrup. And a smudge of peanut butter.
Sam: Alright, that sounds unhealthy so if I can get her to stop drinking that then I guess I’m on board.
Leslie: Great! See Garry, we’re all in on this. We care!
Garry: That’s great. When do we all start?
Leslie: Today, I guess. Actually, tomorrow. I forgot about my meeting with Paul. If you guys want to go for a walk without me, that’s fine.
Diane: No, I’ll take the opportunity to celebrate one last time with Sandy before we cut out sugar and become workout machines.
Sam: Who the hell is Sandy?
Diane: My margarita glass.
Sam: You named it? How have we not had an intervention with you yet?
Six hours later…
Leslie: This has been a very productive meeting -
Paul: Has it been? We do these every week and we rarely get anything accomplished.
Leslie: I know, but I have to say it. Now, if I may ask, who should I talk to about the food from craft services?
Paul: I’d usually direct you to someone else but you’re my #1 show so you can bring your troubles to me.
Leslie: Wow, you really want us to re-up our contracts.
Paul: I’d probably be fired if you didn’t, so, yeah.
Leslie: Okay, this is going to sound like a strange request but if you could have them avoid bringing any snacks that are overly sugary, that would be great. The cast and I are on a sugar-less diet and we don’t want to be tempted. No donuts, no Fig Newtons, no cookies, no… muffins.
Paul: I’ll tell them. Only salty crap for you guys.
Leslie: Vegetables and dairy are fine, too. And not a bunch of processed foods, we’re trying to eat healthy here not replace bad stuff with other bad stuff.
Paul: I will tell them. Anything for you guys. If you were any other show I’d be telling you to screw off right now though, just know that.
Leslie: And that’s why you’re the best. You’re real.
The next day, after filming wraps…
Leslie: So, who’s ready to exercise?
Frances: You know, we should probably consider doing this before we eat all that food on the show. We do have those hours that the contestants are baking that we could do that.
Sam: Frances…
Frances: What did I say now?
Sam: Just because you and Garry aren’t doing work at that point doesn’t mean we aren’t. Diane and I have to interview the contestants and Leslie has to do whatever a producer does.
Frances: I forgot, I’m sorry. I usually just listen to an audiobook and watch The View in my dressing room when I’m not needed. I don’t think about all that you have to do. Going for our walk after filming is fine.
Leslie: Great! Now that we’ve got that all settled, let’s get moving!
Garry: Can I go grab my sneakers from my dressing room? I don’t want to wear my good shoes for this.
Sam: If Diane can wear that dress and high heels to go for our walk, you can wear your good shoes.
Diane: Actually I was going to go change as well. I’m afraid I’m gonna break a heel when we’re walking.
Sam: Fine, I take it back, Garry.
Garry: So do I have time to change shoes?
Leslie: Yes.
Ten minutes later…
Leslie: So, where does everyone want to walk to today?
Garry: How about we walk straight down to the Bullpen lot, then head back.
Leslie: That’s not that far. We need to push ourselves today, at least more than a ten minute walk down the street to one of the shows that films closest to us.
Garry: Alright, how about we go to the Woodland Hills set? That set alone takes a while to talk through.
Leslie: That’s a good forty-five minutes until we’re all said and done. Sounds good to me. Anyone object?
Sam: Woodland Hills has lots of fancy houses on the set, so at least we’ll get to see some nice scenery as we all sweat away half of our body weights because it’s 100 degrees out today.
Garry: You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.
Sam: No, I do. I’ll never hear the end from the Witches of Eastwick over here.
Diane: That’s a very strange and dated reference.
Frances: Can we get going? It’s already 3:30 and I’d like to get home to Mr. Snuggles sometime soon.
Leslie: Yes, let’s go!
Fifteen minutes into their walk…
Paul: Leslie? What are you guys doing out here?
Leslie: We’re walking! It’s wonderful for your body! You should join us!
Paul: I’m perfectly content with riding around the studio in my golf cart, which means I don’t have to sweat buckets in this heat.
Leslie: You’re not treating your body to this wondrous experience. I feel so alive! The wind is running through my hair!
Sam: Leslie, that’s just the fake snow from the set of Dyatlov blowing in the wind.
Leslie: What the hell is that?
Sam: Some miniseries about Russia or something.
Paul: It’s a gripping miniseries about the Dyatlov Pass incident from the 1950s in the Ural Mountains. It’s replacing Bake Your Heart Out on the schedule for those weeks in the beginning of 2020 that it’s not on.
Leslie: Well that sounds like a flop. Our viewers love nothing more than a drama miniseries about a yeti attack.
Paul: I didn’t say it was about a yeti attack.
Leslie: We all know that’s how it’s going to end. Broadcast television loves to make sci-fi shows they cancel after one season because nobody watched them.
Diane: Can we stop talking about this? Frances really wants to get back to the walk. I think she’s enjoying it.
Frances: I’m melting, I just want this to be over!
Paul: You can come with me, Frances.
Frances: No, I’m dedicated to getting this done. We have to get healthy together.
Paul: You can’t get healthy if you die of heatstroke.
Leslie: Nobody here is dying. See you later, Paul!
The group gets back to their walk, eventually arriving at their destination.
Leslie: We finally made it, guys!
Garry: It’s taken us forty-five minutes to get here. How long is it going to take us to get back?
Leslie: I don’t know. But it’s okay. We’re getting ourselves fit! And look how beautiful this set is!
Sam: Yeah, it is very pretty. But it’s also pretty creepy with nobody else anywhere around us.
Leslie: It’s the set of a horror show. So it’s accomplishing its goal.
Garry: Does anyone have water? I think I need some before we talk back. I already finished off my water bottle.
Leslie: The closest set to us where they’re actually filming today is Clue. We can go there and get some water. It’s only ten minutes out of the way.
Diane: Can’t we just take one of the golf carts from this set and drive back? We’ve already done a long walk and we’re all ready to relax now.
Leslie: No! Paul might see us and I don’t need to hear from him about using the golf cart after I just gave him crap for using one.
Sam: How about you walk back and the rest of us drive back and then Paul never sees you using one.
Leslie: Fine. You guys can leave me here alone. I’ll make it back eventually.
Sam: Alright, see ya!
One week later, on the set…
Frances: Leslie, you know, I didn’t think this was going to work out for me because of my crippling sugar addiction, but I feel so much better. I feel refreshed and healthier and more energetic.
Leslie: I know, I feel the same way. I think I’m going to stick with this for a while. It feels so good to not be a slave to big sugar.
Sam: Big sugar?
Leslie: The companies that produce sugar and the foods that contain a plentiful amount of sugar.
Sam: I don’t think that’s a thing.
Diane: I don’t know if it is but I know I also feel better on our sugar cleanse.
Sam: You all know it isn’t a true sugar cleanse, right? We work on a baking show. We eat more sweets in a day than most people do. We’re just eating less than we usually do.
Diane: We’re still improving our lives. Eating healthier is important.
Garry: I’ve lost seven pounds already! I’m loving our new routine. Thank you guys for agreeing to do this with me. It’s really helped me stay dedicated to it.
Diane: Oh, you’re so welcome. You’ve helped us so much, too. I feel better without drinking a giant margarita mixed with a cup of syrup every day.
Sam: Yeah, about that…
Frances: What rude comment are you going to make now?
Sam: I’m not really liking this whole cleanse and exercise thing. I felt forced into this whole thing and I haven’t been liking it. I miss eating cereal. I miss drinking orange juice. I miss not sweating through my best clothing. I miss not having foot cramps. I hate this.
Diane: That is extremely selfish. This is supposed to make us all healthier. Why don’t you want that?
Sam: I’m not pre-diabetic! I don’t have a sugar problem! I’m skinny! I don’t need to do this. I can just go for a swim in my pool in the morning like I always do and then not having to worry about healthy living for the rest of the day. Leslie, you probably weigh like a hundred pounds soaking wet. You’re fine. Frances, you could be the most physically fit woman in the world and you still wouldn’t be healthy because of… all of that
Sam points to Frances’ head.
Frances: Hey! I’m not crazy!
Sam: You are but that’s beside the point. It’s great you’re all doing this for Garry, but it’s not like you need to. I certainly don’t, and I don’t want to continue. I don’t think I need to be judged over that.
Leslie: You can do whatever you want. It’s perfectly fine by me. Just because you don’t want to take part in this doesn’t mean we’re mad at you.
Sam: You’re taking this better than I thought.
Diane: I think you should reconsider. Just until Garry’s blood sugar is lowered. Then you can go back to doing whatever you want.
Sam: You don’t listen sometimes. I don’t want to do it, that shouldn’t impact what Garry does in any way. You’re the only one with a problem about this.
Diane: Being all in this together motivates me to do it. You not doing it makes me less excited for it.
Sam: You don’t even need to do it. You’re perfectly healthy.
Diane: I want to be supportive. Why don’t you want to be?
Sam: Okay, fine. I’ll do it for a few more weeks. Then we can have this discussion all over again, I guess.
Garry: You really don’t need to do this if you don’t want to.
Sam: Oh, I do. I don’t want to hear Diane whine about it any further.
Diane: My whining caused something good. Finally!
Three days later…
Garry: So doc, what did you call me in for?
Dr. Lehman: I asked you to come in today to discuss something extremely important.
Garry: Can you tell me what it is?
Dr. Lehman: I want to start out by saying that I’m very sorry.
Garry: Am I dying? I know I ask that a lot, but am I dying?
Dr. Lehman: No, you’re not dying. I’m the one who is in a bit of trouble. I mixed up your blood tests with another patient of mine who has a similar name.
Garry: So I’m not pre-diabetic?
Dr. Lehman: No, you’re not. You’re perfectly healthy.
Garry: That’s very interesting.
Dr. Lehman: I thought you’d be relieved.
Garry: I’m a little more nervous now than I was before, to be quite honest.
Dr. Lehman: This is an unusual reaction. But, how you react isn’t any of my business so I’m going to head out. Have a nice day.
The next day, in Garry’s dressing room…
Garry: Ladies, I have some interesting news to share with you.
Frances: Are you dying?
Sam: Did Carly finally wake up and realize she could do so much better?
Diane: Did you go see Downton Abbey without me? How dare you?
Garry: No, no and no. I went to my doctor yesterday.
Diane: Already?
Garry: Can I talk?
Diane: Sorry.
Garry: I went to the doctor, and he told me that I’m not really pre-diabetic. He mixed up my blood work with someone else’s. I’m totally healthy.
Leslie: So does this mean we’re done exercising together and abstaining from sugar?
Garry: Not if you don’t want it to. But, I’m going to start eating sugar again. Maybe not like I used to but more than I have been lately. I’d like to keep going for walks, though.
Leslie: I would, too. What do the rest of you think?
Diane: I like the sugar cleanse and our group walks, so I think we should keep it up. Sam, you don’t have to do it anymore.
Sam: This might surprise you but I’ve done some reflection in recent days. I really enjoy our studio walks. I’ve gotten to learn about so many shows this network apparently airs, like Check-In, a show about an inn that is apparently in its eight season. Or Finally Together, a show about family reunions that Paul once aired behind ours. It got me thinking about how our little walks together have made me aware of the world around me a bit more. It’s helping me mentally, even if I don’t necessarily need to do it physically. So, I’d like to continue.
Diane: I am so proud of you!
Sam: Thank you.
Garry: So, are you guys ready for a walk?
Sam: Oh hell no. It’s our lunch break, Garry. We do this after we’re done working. We can’t look like tomatoes on national television!

What did you think of the episode? Let us know in the comments and make sure to return next week for another new episode!

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