Bryan: I thought there’d be more people here.
Lorenzo: Me, you, Eli, Kurt, Jason, and Robert are all here. Every bullpen member. I’d say that’s about everyone I know.
Bryan: True.
Eli: So...are you going to let us in?
Lorenzo: Right. Does anyone have any scissors?
Robert: I do!
Kurt: Of course you do.
Jason: What do you need scissors for anyways?
Lorenzo: To cut down the ribbon.
Jason: What ribbon?
Lorenzo: Oh. Looks like I forgot the ribbon. Alright never mind, just come on in.
[All enter the restaurant.]
Lorenzo: So, what do you guys think?
Bryan: You know we’ve all been here before, right?
Lorenzo: My question still stands.
Eli: Looks like a good-sized place. How many people did you hire?
Lorenzo: What do you mean?
Eli: Oh don’t even tell me.
Kurt: You didn’t hire anyone, did you?
Lorenzo: Nope.
Jason: You can’t run a restaurant without people working at it.
Lorenzo: You ran a bullpen without anyone going onto the field. Usually, at least.
Jason: A bullpen is way different than a restaurant. You have to do something in a restaurant.
Robert: You usually have to do something in a bullpen too but that’s a different story.
Bryan: Lorenzo, can you excuse us for one second?
Lorenzo: Sure.
[Long pause]
Bryan: Can you step aside?
Lorenzo: Oh. I thought you were going to.
[Lorenzo walks away for a few seconds.]
Kurt: OK Lorenzo, you can come back now.
Jason: We’ve decided to help you for today only.
Lorenzo: Thanks!
Eli: After that, you’ll have to either hire your own staff or hope the bar alone is enough to keep you in business.
Robert: Also call up Harry, he’ll probably work here for you.
Lorenzo: Who?
Robert: The hot dog guy.
Lorenzo: Oh, him! OK, I will.
Bryan: Looks like you have a customer coming.
[Lorenzo runs to the door and right up to the person entering.]
Lorenzo: Welcome to Lorenzo’s Kitchen! You’ll love it here! Sit down wherever you want! I’ll give you a menu and someone will take your order! Thank you for coming!
Customer: I think you’re a little too enthusiastic. Dial it back a bit.
Lorenzo: OK. So what brings you here?
Catherine: Oh nothing, just my connecting flight got canceled going back to Connecticut.
New Customer: I told you we should’ve taken a direct flight back Catherine!
Catherine: I know, Nate. We’ll get back to Connecticut eventually.
Lorenzo: You are nowhere near Connecticut right now.
Eli: I think they realize that.
Nate: Do you have any pasta?
Lorenzo: I have lots of pasta. Do you want—
Kurt: Don’t list every type of pasta.
Nate: I’ll just take plain noodles with butter if that’s OK.
Catherine: I’ll take mine just like that, except well done and with fries on the side.
Nate: Huh?
Catherine: Did you not order a burger?
Lorenzo: Pasta and a burger coming right up.
Jason: This job is easy!
Eli: You’ve done nothing.
Jason: Exactly.
Eli: Wanna take this next customer?
Jason: Nope.
Eli: Fine. I’ll do it. Hey there, sit wherever you want.
Unnamed Customer: You do not sound enthusiastic.
Eli: I’m not.
Customer: Whatever. Wait, aren’t you one of those baseball players?
Eli: Technically. And was.
Customer: Eli? I’m Carter Danderson. I just got called up to the big leagues for next season!
Eli: Congratulations! Are you any good? And more importantly, am I the General Manager of the team?
Carter: You’re not the General Manager. And I highly doubt I’ll pitch all that much.
Eli: You never know.
Carter: I won’t be the star of the team, that’s for sure. This is a nice place, I’ll have to eat here one day.
Eli: You’re not eating?
Carter: I’m kidding! Can I have a burger to go?
Catherine: Trust me, they’re good.
Nate: We probably should get going though.
Catherine: You’re right. Thanks, Lauren!
Lorenzo: It’s Lorenzo.
Catherine: Cool.
Lorenzo: Carter, will I see you around?
Carter: Maybe during the baseball season. Good luck!
Lorenzo: Thanks! Everyone from the bullpen, you can go home whenever you want. I think I got this covered.
Episode 2: New Customers
[Lorenzo is standing in the street, right outside the restaurant’s door.]
[Lorenzo is standing in the street, right outside the restaurant’s door.]
Lorenzo: LORENZO’S KITCHEN IS NOW OPEN.
[He gets a few looks, but no one follows him inside.]
Lorenzo (to himself): That’s OK, I didn’t want any customers today anyways.
[Lorenzo waits for an hour for his first customers to arrive. Six people, all in the 20s, walk in within a minute of one another.]
Lorenzo: Hey! You here for my food and drinks?
Adam: Why wouldn’t I be?
Lorenzo: I don’t know, rough opening so far. I’m not taking for granted getting a customer.
Adam: I wanted to check out this place. You were my favorite baseball player by the way.
Lorenzo: Thanks! Never knew anyone liked how I pitched.
Adam: No, you were a terrible pitcher. But you made for some good entertainment when you were on the bench. Which was pretty much—
Lorenzo: All the time, I know. It was a good bench, you’ll have to trust me on that one. So what can I get you?
Adam: I don’t know, whatever you have is fine. Name’s Adam by the way.
Lorenzo (shaking hands): Lorenzo, nice to meet you.
Adam: I know your name.
Lorenzo: Right. [Lorenzo hands Adam a drink.] Hold on, I’m getting another customer.
Sam: Hey I’m Sam, if you care. Girl, if you care. I’ll have a drink too. Whatever you want to make, I don’t care.
Lorenzo: OK [Lorenzo prepares a drink and hands it to her]
Sam (taking a sip): This is good! Is it...cotton candy flavored?
Lorenzo: Yeah, green. My own creation.
Sam: Sounds gross, not hard to believe, but tastes great.
Lorenzo: Wait a minute. Your name is Sam. His name is Adam.
Sam: Uh huh.
Lorenzo (taking her drink away): You both need a Sam Adam beer!
Adam: Not the name of the company and don’t want one but OK.
Lorenzo: Here you go, it’s on the house unless you want to pay for it.
Sam: I don’t but sure.
Lorenzo: Wow, here comes someone else. Three at one time!
Lincoln: Hey, my name is Lincoln, can I have a grilled cheese?
Lorenzo: Wow, bold move, didn’t even have to look at the menu to see if I had it!
Lincoln: Pretty much any place does.
Lorenzo: I’ll get that to you right away. Got any plans for tonight?
Lincoln: Nope.
Lorenzo (chucking): Good, there’s a few plays going on but I would not want you to walk into a theater.
Lincoln: Dude. Too soon.
Lorenzo: Really? OK then.
Madison: Hello! I’ve been sitting here and you seem to have not noticed!
Lorenzo: Of course I noticed yoU!
Madison: No you didn’t, can I just have some water? I’m pretty thirsty. Name’s Madison by the way because apparently for some reason we’re all telling you our names.
Lorenzo: Got it. As in James Madison. I don’t know a lot, but I know my Presidents. [Getting water]. Here you go. Now I have someone else coming in.
Chase: Name’s Chase. Don’t chase me out of here now! Get it? How I used my name as a pun?
Lorenzo: Don’t ever do that again.
Chase: Saw-red. Speaking of which, I SAW you have some drinks to serve.
Lorenzo: Uh huh.
Chase: Got milk?
Lorenzo: Only if you ask that in a different way. Actually, fine, I can’t drive away customers so soon.
Chase: I’m messing with you.
Lorenzo: Really?
Chase: Yeah.
Lorenzo: OK, here’s your milk.
Chase: That’s not milk.
Lorenzo: I know, this is a bar, you’re getting a milkshake. Even that’s pushing boundaries.
Chase. You have another customer.
Lorenzo: I do? Wow! [Turns to customer]. What’s your name and what can I get you?
Reagan: My name is Reagan, not sure why you ask but in fairness I already know your name. I’ll have something only you find appetizing.
Lorenzo: Hot dog ice cream it is.
Reagan: Thanks, I guess.
Lorenzo: Wow. Six customers at one time. So, what brings you all here?
All: Studying to be a lawyer.
All (Again): Really? You too?
Lorenzo: Chase don’t say it.
Chase: Say what?
Lorenzo: Oh, thought you had a pun about studying for your bar exam up your sleeve, given this is a bar.
Chase: As I said, I was messing with you.
Lorenzo: Then I’m gonna say it myself: get to know this place too well and you’ll have two bar exams to pass.
Adam: Safe to say we'll all be back soon?
Sam: I’m coming back.
Chase: Me too.
Lincoln: I’ll be back.
Madison: Sure, I’ll stop by again.
Reagan: See you later everyone.