Bar Exam Season 1 Episode 3: Wait Staff

Open: Lorenzo and all six students are at the bar.

Lorenzo: I need to hire some more wait staff.
Madison: Yeah, you have like, two people. And there are tons of people here now sitting at tables.
Lorenzo: I was just thinking that too. Looks like this has become a real hot spot.
Lincoln: Do you need help hiring people because I know a guy who’s looking for a job.
Lorenzo: Sure, send them in.
Lincoln: OK, they’re on their way now.
Lorenzo: That was fast.
(A man enters and approaches the bar)
Man: Lincoln, what’s up!
Lorenzo: Were you standing outside the door? How did you get here so quickly?
Man: I teleported.
Lorenzo: No seriously.
Man: I teleported.
Lincoln (to Lorenzo): He thinks he can teleport, that’s not a dealbreaker right?
Man: I teleported.
Madison: OK this guy scares me.
Lorenzo: Can’t say I can hire you, sorry man.
Man: OK. Guess I’ll teleport my way out of here now.
Madison: You do that.
Lorenzo: So that was a bust. Anyone else have anybody?
Lincoln: Yeah, can you come up with anyone better Madison.
Madison: My cat would be a better waiter than that guy.
Lorenzo: Oh what’s his or her name?
Madison: Seriously?
Lorenzo: Whiskers? Bill?
Madison: Why would its name be Bill? And neither.
Lorenzo: Can I interview your cat?
Madison: You could but you’d be wasting your time.
Lorenzo: Trust me, my days as a baseball player made me the king of wasting time. Call your cat.
Madison: Fine. I’ll call my cat. (Dials a number). Not answering.
Lorenzo: Understandably. That was useless. Anyone else have any ideas?
Reagan: For starters I think a good prerequisite would be to hire a person.
Chase: Yeah and I’ll have the buffalo chicken wings to start.
Lorenzo: You mean the buffalo wings?
Chase: I guess.
Reagan: Guys! Let’s focus. I just happen to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a girl who is looking for a job.
Lorenzo: Nice! Can you connect me with them?
Reagan: Yep. (Long pause).
Lorenzo: Whenever you’re ready.
Reagan: Oh. It’s me.
Chase: Reagan, how are you gonna get a job when you’re busy studying for the bar exam? You should hire my uncle, he has like five jobs, what’s another?
Lorenzo: Is it too early for me to tell you both that the options you brought up make no sense? Come on, there’s gotta be someone. Sam Adam, talk to me.
Adam: First can you stop calling us that? We’re not beer. And also, I got nothing.
Sam: I can call my friend from high school.
Lorenzo: Great!
Sam: OK, calling. (On the phone) Hey Sadie! It’s me, Sam. Just wondering if you wanted a job at a bar! (Long pause, then hangs up)
Lorenzo: Well? What’d she say?
Sam: She said she didn’t know me.
Lorenzo: Alright well I guess I shouldn’t try to drag you all into my issues, this is my restaurant after all. I’ll figure something out. Just have to work extra hard for now.
Lincoln: If this whole law school thing doesn’t work out then I can help.
Lorenzo: Why would you even say that?
Lincoln: I’m failing right now.
Lorenzo: I don’t know if you know this, but Lorenzo’s Kitchen pays minimum wage until I can figure out if this place is making any money or not.
Lincoln: I can do better.
Lorenzo: Do you mean with school or money?
Lincoln: School. Both, actually.
Lorenzo: Good luck.
Lincoln: Any other advice?
Lorenzo: Let’s see...well maybe...actually, nope.

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