BOB
Brian, can I see you for a minute?
BRIAN
You’re looking at me right now.
BOB
I meant in my office.
BRIAN
Yeah okay. Where is that again?
BOB
Follow me.
BRIAN
So what brings me to your office?
BOB
Your performance.
BRIAN
What about it?
BOB
It’s terrible.
BRIAN
How could that be? I sold a mattress a couple weeks ago!
BOB
I saw the whole thing. You had no role in him buying a mattress. You’re lucky to have gotten that commission.
BRIAN
I can’t control if someone buys a mattress or not.
BOB
That’s your job!
BRIAN
Oh. Any tips for me?
BOB
You’re fired.
BRIAN
You can’t fire me!
BOB
I can and I just did.
BRIAN
What?? Who is going to take my place?
BOB
I have the right person for the job.
BOB and BRIAN and walks out the door, meeting FRAN and MR. FROG.
BOB
Fran, I have news for you. I had to fire Brian because of poor performance, and guess who’s taking his job?
FRAN
Oh that’s terrible! For him at least, I won’t let you down as a salesperson!
BOB
Who said you were going to become a salesperson? You’re the sign holder now! Mr. Frog, follow me, you have yourself a new job.
FRAN
I’m so sorry Brian! How are we gonna make ends meet now?
BRIAN
Don’t worry about it, I have an idea.
CUT to JOSH and ANDREW, at home.
JOSH
Nice to have a day off.
ANDREW
Hearing Doris yell Doctor Whiskers is only funny so many times.
JOSH
Any updates on the kid?
ANDREW
Not yet. Last time I talked we’re supposed to have him soon. Fran’s probably still upset that it’s not a girl.
JOSH and ANDREW hear a heavy knock on the door. JOSH opens it and finds BRIAN standing outside.
JOSH
Dad, you could’ve just used your keys to unlock the door you know.
ANDREW
Why are you home from work so early?
BRIAN
I got fired.
ANDREW
For future reference are you just going to be wherever we go? I thought that was against our agreement.
BRIAN
It was. Luckily, I think this makeup artist thing is going to work out for me full-time. I talked to Dog Woofers about it and he said it sounded good.
JOSH
Yeah I’m quitting. And it’s Doctor Whiskers, if it matters.
ANDREW
You can’t quit, we need the money!
FRAN opens the door.
FRAN
Yeah I got fired too.
BRIAN
What did you do?
FRAN
Yelled at a potential customer. What was I supposed to do, let her get away with skipping work?
JOSH
How do you know she was skipping work?
FRAN
She kept talking to herself, saying “Doris, get away from that doctors’ office for good already”. So I already know of one job opening!
ANDREW
Is this happening?