REAGAN
I really need to pass something.
LORENZO
Bathroom’s by the door.
REAGAN
I meant a bill.
LORENZO
Oh. True.
ADAM
Just getting your name on a bill would be a start.
REAGAN
Yeah, I should lower my ambitions for now. So, who wants to let me be an author on their bill?
Everyone looks around at one another.
REAGAN
Chase?
CHASE
Um...that’s okay.
REAGAN
Lorenzo?
LORENZO
You don’t want my help.
REAGAN
Sam?
SAM
Good luck!
REAGAN
Lincoln?
LINCOLN
I’ll think about it after you get your name on a bill.
REAGAN
Adam?
ADAM
Same as Lincoln.
REAGAN
Madison? Please?
MADISON
I don’t have any ideas.
REAGAN
I guess I’m by myself this time, then.
LORENZO
Don’t worry about it. As they say, there’s always next season.
LINCOLN
Do they say that?
REAGAN
If none of you want to help me write the bill, I hope you vote for it. I’ll prove to you I can get legislation passed!
REAGAN furiously types a bill and introduces it.
REAGAN [speaking to all representatives]
So I’ve never done this before, excuse me if I come across sounding...you know what, I’m just gonna introduce this bill. It’s called the Stagnation Act—oops. Nervous. I meant the Flag Station Act.
REAGAN sits down.
SPEAKER
Aren’t you going to talk about the bill a little bit?
REAGAN
Right.
REAGAN stands up again.
REAGAN
The Flag Station Act abolishes flag stations.
REAGAN sees many confused faces.
REAGAN
You’ve all seen flag stations, right?
REAGAN gets many blank stares.
You know, those areas where they have a bunch of flags and you take one and you want one?
Silence.
REAGAN
I’m proposing we abolish them. They’re too inefficient, we could just sell flags instead, or give them out at special events. You see,—
The SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE interrupts.
SPEAKER
I think we’ve all heard enough. Let’s bring this to a vote.
REAGAN
I wasn’t done!
SPEAKER
I don’t care, I think we’re all know where this bill is headed. You tried.
The SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE orders a vote. The bill passes, 59-41.
SPEAKER
I don’t know what to say about this, but I guess it passes.
REAGAN looks surprised and relieved.
ADAM
Good job, Reagan.
REAGAN
Don’t underestimate me.
LORENZO
Guess you have legislation to your name now. Congratulations, you’ve joined an elite club.