Our House Season 3 Episode 11 - Our Bensonhurst (Part 1)

Our House Season 3, Episode 11
Our Bensonhurst (Part 1)

Betty: Karl, get in here! You’re missing The Bachelor!

Karl: Good. I hate The Bachelor!

Betty: How can one hate The Bachelor?

Karl: Easily.

Jerry: The Bachelor represents the decay of society. People with no morals, dating thirty people at the same time. Horrifying.

Teri: Jeez, Jerry. It’s not that serious. It’s just a bunch of hot singles living in one house looking for a chance to date the Bachelor or Bachelorette for like six months before they break up. It’s all good, stupid fun.

Karl: I’d dispute the “fun” part.

Velma: Also the “good” part.

Ralph: Why do we all watch this show together?

Jerry: I watch it because I like The Good Doctor.

Cindy: Come on. You like it. We all like it.

Karl: Not me!

Betty: Shh, everyone! The Bachelor’s about to eliminate the last girl before hometown week!

Jerry: Well in that case, it has my full attention.

Velma: Like it didn’t already…

Frank: Jerry, if you want to, we can go watch something else in the basement. You want to find out what Bob and Abishola are up to?

Jerry: I don’t know what an “Abishola” is, and I don’t care to find out.

Betty: Come on, dude! Don’t eliminate Amanda W! She’s perfect for you!

Ralph: If calling someone you’re dating by their first name and last initial doesn’t scream “perfect for you,” I don’t know what does.

Danielle’s phone rings.

Betty: Where you going, Danielle? 

Danielle: I’m getting a phone call. Can’t you hear it?

Betty: I only hear the Bachelor when it’s on.

Danielle: You could tell I was leaving, though?

Teri: Just… don't question her.

Danielle walks away and answers her phone. Her sister, Alexa, is calling.

Alexa: Dani!

Danielle: It’s Danielle. I’m not in my twenties anymore.

Alexa: I know. You haven’t been in your twenties in… what, forty years?

Danielle: Very funny. What are you calling about?

Alexa: Oh. That’s right! Mom fell today!

Danielle: Mom what?

Alexa: She fell today in the living room. Tripped on a rug. She broke her ankle and couldn’t get up. Thank god I had Tim drop in to deliver her meals for the week, otherwise she could’ve been there for days.

Danielle: Is that all that happened to her?

Alexa: Thankfully, yes. She didn’t hit her head or anything.

Danielle: She worries me.

Alexa: Not enough to come visit, apparently.

Danielle: Come on, Alexa. I’m busy down here. I call a lot.

Alexa: Mom says it’s been two months.

Danielle: Maybe I need to come visit her, then.

Alexa: Is this one of those cases where you say you’ll come and you never actually do?

Danielle: No, I’m coming tomorrow.

Alexa: Mom’s on bedrest. You can help take care of her and give me a rest.

Danielle: I’d be glad to.

Alexa: I’m telling her that you’re coming. Don’t let her down.

Danielle: See you tomorrow.

Alexa hangs up on Danielle. Danielle walks back to the living room.

Teri: You look upset. I know Amanda W was your favorite, too.

Danielle: My mom fell today.

Teri: Is she okay?

Danielle: She twisted her ankle, but she didn’t hit her head. She’ll be okay.

Teri: That’s something, at least.

Velma: How did she fall?

Danielle: Tripped on the rug. That’s what my sister says, at least.

Velma: How’s she doing?

Danielle: I don’t know, all I know is that my sister’s been caring for her all day. I’m assuming she’s been resting.

Velma: Did you get a chance to talk to her?

Danielle: No. I’m not too worried about it. I’m going up to New York to see her tomorrow.

Teri: You’re going to New York? Alone?

Danielle: My family will be there.

Teri: What about the drive? You don’t want to be alone all those hours.

Danielle: I’ll be fine. I’m not a child. I can be alone for six hours.

Teri: I’ll go with you!

Danielle: You? Don’t you have to work?

Ralph: Teri? She can request time off. She works like three days a week anyway.

Teri: I’m trying for more days. My boss just won’t give me any! But yes, I can request off. 

Danielle: I guess we’ll leave tomorrow morning, then. It will be nice to have some company.

Betty: I don’t want you girls going into the big city on your own. What if someone attacks you? I’m coming with.

Teri: What will you do? Annoy our attacker to death?

Betty: I’m your mother. I’ll protect you.

Danielle: You can come with if you want.

Betty: Thank you, Danielle. At least you’re respectful.

Karl: I will drive you all. Danielle, you’re worrying enough about your mom. Teri, I know you don’t like to drive when the weather isn’t good. Betty, you…

Betty: What about me?

Cindy: He’s telling you he doesn’t want you driving to New York.

Betty: I’m a good driver!

Jerry: You almost totaled my car that one time you took it. Accept the help.

Betty: Fine. Jerry can drive.

Danielle: I’m fine with that. My solo trip back home has now become a group trip, and that’s okay with me. Moral support, you know?

The next day, on the road…

Danielle: We’re almost there, guys!

Karl: Just about ten minutes left according to the GPS.

Teri: Are you nervous? It’s been a while and I know your sister’s somewhat of a…

Danielle: She’s a judgmental freak sometimes, yes. I still love her.

Teri: I can relate to that.

Betty: I’m not judgmental!

Teri: I was talking about Cindy.

Betty: Oh, yeah. She can be.

Karl: From what I’m hearing, Cindy isn’t the only judgmental one in this family.

Teri: You’re right. Ralph’s pretty judgmental. Tammi, too.

Karl: Never mind. I’m just focusing on the road.

Danielle: I’m actually glad to be home. I haven’t been to Bensonhurst in almost five years. The last time I saw mom was two years ago for Thanksgiving when we all went to Georgia to visit my sister Janice.

Betty: Do you all live in separate states?

Danielle: It’s just me, mom and my two sisters. Everyone else is gone already. Mom still lives in Bensonhurst. My little sister Alexa lives in Greenwich, Connecticut. My older sister Janice lives in Savannah, Georgia. I’m not sure why we all moved apart, but we did. I think it’s for the best because we’d probably kill one another if we were always together.

Teri: It’s a struggle every day for me.

Karl: We’re here!

Betty: Oh my goodness, Danielle! Your childhood home is so beautiful.

Danielle: It’s the envy of the block.

Betty: I never pictured looking it like this.

Danielle: What did you think it would look like.

Betty: A lot… a lot different.

Danielle: You thought it was going to be a small, run-down, dilapidated place. New York is actually beautiful if you take the time to look.

Teri: Also, if you have the money for a nice place.

Danielle: That, too. Really, though. I loved growing up in Brooklyn. It was an experience like no other. Wait, is that -

Janice: Oh my god! Little sis, you really came!

Danielle: Of course I came. I’m a woman of my word.

Janice: You told us Virginia was beautiful, but, we know that’s not true.

Danielle: It is!

Janice: I’m just pulling your leg! I love Virginia. In fact, I’d love if you invited me up there more often.

Danielle: I’m gonna one of these days. You and Orville. Speaking of which, what are you doing here? Alexa didn’t mention you were coming.

Janice: We didn’t book the plane tickets until late last night. I thought it was important to see mom, just to make sure everything was okay. Now, let’s get inside so everyone can finally see for their own eyes that you’re really here.

Danielle: Is it that shocking that I’m home?

Janice: More shocking than the bolt of lighting that brought the Bride of Frankenstein to life.

Danielle: In that case, let’s go inside!

Danielle, Janice, Teri, Betty and Karl walk inside.

Janice: She’s here, everyone!

Mary (Danielle’s mother): Do my eyes deceive me?

Danielle: No, mother. I’m really home.

Alexa: I owe ya five bucks, Orville.

Orville: You’re not the only one.

Danielle: Why did everyone think I would go back on my word?

Mary: I didn’t think you even knew how to get to Brooklyn anymore.

Danielle: Come on, ma. I’ve only been gone for -

Mary: Twenty-five years. That’s half your life.

Danielle: I’ll never forget how to get back here.

Mary: In that case, why haven’t you come back more?

Danielle: I’ve been busy. You don’t exactly live right down the road.

Mary: You’re here now, at least. Care to introduce us to the baseball team you brought with?

Danielle: This is my bullpen. Always right in the stands to come give me some relief. Teri, Betty and Karl.

Alexa: We’ve heard so much about all of you!

Betty: I figured you did, we’re very close with Danielle. She does live with us, you know.

Alexa: You’re Bonnie, right?

Betty: It’s Betty.

Alexa: Oh, right. Sorry.

Karl: It’s nice to meet you, we’ve heard a lot about you, too. Danielle’s been such a delight to have in our lives for so many years. I can’t believe we’ve never met before.

Alexa: You’re Lorenzo, right?

Karl: What? Why would my name be Lorenzo?

Alexa: Sorry, I wasn’t listening to Dani when she was introducing you. I rarely listen to her completely.

Mary: Back up. Danielle, you live with these people?

Danielle: Yes. I told you I found a new place.

Mary: All you said was that you were moving out of your apartment and into a nice new home. I assumed that meant your own home. Not moving in with your friend at her parents’ place like some broke kids fresh out of college.

Danielle: It’s not like that. I’m part of their family.

Mary: You’re part of our family.

Danielle: I’m part of theirs, too. We all live together in one big house, me, them and nine other people in Teri’s family.

Mary: That sounds like a cult.

Danielle: No, it’s just a very unique living arrangement. The house is huge, it’s not cramped of anything.

Betty: Some days we don’t even see everyone!

Teri: Yeah, I haven’t seen Tammi in days.

Betty: Now that you mention it, neither have I.

Karl: Someone should check on that.

Mary: I’m not here to question your living choices, Danielle. I’m simply trying to recuperate because I had a big fall yesterday.

Danielle: That’s why I’m here. I want to help take care of you.

Mary: There’s always a reason. You can never come back home just because you miss your dear ole’ mom.

Danielle: Mom, come on.

Mary: I’m just kidding! I’m glad to have you back!

Danielle: Since when does mom kid?

Janice: I’m wondering the same thing.

Mary: I’ve always been funny!

Danielle: There, another joke. You’re on a roll. Injury suits you well, mom.

Betty: Ms. McGinty -

Mary: It’s Martino. McGinty is Danielle’s married name. Besides, just call me Mary.

Betty: Mary. Where can we go to put our luggage? It’s getting late, I want to get settled in.

Mary: Well, Alexa and Tim are in the guest room, Janice and Orville are in my room, so you four can go in Danielle’s old room.

Betty: Okay, thank you. Where is that?

Mary: Up the steps, first room to your right.

Danielle: You want four of us to sleep in my room?

Alexa: We didn’t think you were gonna bring three guests. None of us did.

Danielle: You live in Greenwich, you can drive home, pick up some of your friends, and get back in two hours.

Alexa: I’m not going to do that.

Mary: Danielle, where else would you suggest sleeping?

Danielle: I don’t know. I just don’t know how we’re all going to sleep in one room.

Mary: Two on the bed, one on your little couch, and one in a sleeping bag on the floor.

Danielle: Okay. We’ll try it!

The group carries their luggage up to Danielle’s room.

Teri: Oh my god!

Danielle: Please don’t look.

Teri: This is adorable.

Danielle: I said not to look!

Teri: Pink walls! A poster of New Kids on the Block. Weren’t you a little old for them?

Danielle: The Right Stuff came out when I was seventeen. That’s a peak NKOTB-loving age.

Teri: If you say so.

Betty: I also love the pretty pink bedspread.

Danielle: Oh, that’s not mine.

Betty: It’s on your bed.

Danielle: Yeah. Mom hated my old bedspread because it didn’t match the walls, so she replaced it when I moved out.

Betty: You mom sounds -

Teri: Kinda like you.

Betty: Yeah.

Karl: I think it’s a very appropriate room for a teenage girl. It’s not like you’re still living in it. It’s a nice throwback.

Danielle: Thank you! I only stayed here until I was twenty-one. Then I got married and moved across the street.

Karl: You only moved across the street?

Danielle: There’s a reason I got divorced.

Teri: We never talk about your past. We should do that more.

Danielle: What do you want to talk about? I’ve got all day?

Janice: Danielle, dinner in ten!

Danielle: I got ten minutes.

Betty: When we met you fifteen years ago, you weren’t married. You must’ve gotten divorced relatively quickly.

Danielle: I told Teri this many times, but she’s probably forgotten.

Teri: Of course I have!

Danielle: So, at twenty-one I got married. We had two kids, and four years later, I moved to Virginia to get the hell away from him because he was a monster. There was a lot of abuse, but I got out of it.

Betty: I’m so sorry to hear that, I never knew it before.

Danielle: I don’t talk about it much, obviously. I’m just glad to be here. Any other questions?

Karl: I have one. Who is “Ben Pryor” and why do you heart him?

Danielle: Oh no. You looked at the wall.

Teri: Why’d you draw on the wall?

Danielle: I was nine. I had a crush on a boy at school, I wrote it on the wall in crayon. My mom was so angry, she told me I’d have to live with it on the wall forever. She kept that promise.

Betty: Your mom follows through. I like her more and more every day.

Danielle: We’re going to be here for like five days. You got time.

Janice: Danielle, get down here!

Danielle: Dinner already?

Janice: I finished it early! Time to eat!

Danielle: Okay, we’ll be down!

Betty: Is screaming your family’s main method of communication?

Danielle: We’re Italian girls from Brooklyn. Of course it is. Now, you ready for a Martino family dinner?

Betty: I guess?

Danielle: Then let’s pray that there’s no food fight and get to dinner!

To be continued…

What did you think of the new episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments, vote in the poll below and make sure to read a new episode next week!

Who was your favorite character in Our House Season 3 Episode 11, "Our Bensonhurst (Part 1)?"

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