Our House Season 3 Episode 10 - Our Blizzard

Our House Season 3, Episode 10
Our Blizzard

Betty: Oh my god!

Teri: What is it, mom? Are they rebooting Ghostbusters again? I know how excited that makes you.

Betty: They are, but that’s not what I’m shocked about.

Teri: Well, what are you shocked about?

Cindy: Maybe if you’d just look at the TV to see for yourself instead of being sarcastic right away, you’d know.

Betty: Thank you.

Teri: Oh, wow. A snowstorm is coming through Virginia on Friday.

Jerry: Yeah, right. Like we’re gonna get snow. I can’t tell you the last time it snowed here.

Ralph: It snows all the time.

Jerry: Never any real snow. Always a coating, who cares about that?

Betty: This won’t be a coating. This is the real thing.

Jerry: Sure, Betty. You say that every time, you think you’re a meteorologist or something.

Betty: No, but I listen to them.

Jerry: They’re wrong all the time.

Teri: Not quite as much as you are.

Jerry: We’ll see.

Thursday morning…

Steven: Mom! Something’s happening outside.

Tammi: What’s happening? Is there a tornado?

Steven: No, it’s snowing!

Cindy: Why would there be a tornado?

Tammi: I don’t know, I forgot it was supposed to snow.

Betty: I told you, Jerry. I told you!

Jerry: You and your weather friends said Friday. It’s Thursday. We don’t know yet.

Betty: You’re so cynical all the time.

Jerry: Not as cynical as your meteorologists are incorrect!

Betty: You always have had problems believing in science!

Jerry: That’s always your argument. It’s tiring.

Karl: Cindy, what are they arguing about now?

Cindy: Due to the fact that they are children, they’re arguing over the snow. I just want to call in to school to see if we’re opening today and they're making that impossible.

Karl: Go in your room and call. You’re out of the crossfire there.

Cindy: Good idea.

Karl: In the meantime, Betty, can you drop it?

Betty: Drop what?

Karl: Whatever you’re arguing with Jerry about.

Ralph: Snow!

Karl: Yes, stop arguing about snow. I know how strongly you feel about so many things, but let’s keep the peace. Especially because we’re stuck inside in the middle of a snowstorm.

Jerry: Don’t you rub it in, too.

Betty: He admits defeat! Ha!

Jerry: I admit nothing!

Karl: I’m going back to bed.

Teri: Same here!

Ralph: Don’t you have a job to get to?

Teri: I have off today. What’s your excuse?

Ralph: I have a medical condition.

Teri: That’s right. Let’s pick on Mitchell instead.

Ralph: He is very lazy.

Mitchell: Hey! Don’t pick on me!

Ralph: Go shovel, then.

Mitchell: Nah.

Ralph: Then we will continue picking on you.

Velma: You do deserve it.

Mitchell: I’m going back to bed.

Velma: Go ahead. It’s kind of a miracle you were up before noon to begin with.

Six hours later…

Betty: Hon’, I’m getting worried. Where is Cindy?

Karl: She just called us ten minutes ago to say she was coming home.

Betty: It was only ten minutes ago?

Karl: Yes! The school is twenty minutes from the house in good weather and it’s snowing right now so I don’t think you want her to rush home, right?

Betty: No. I want her to be safe. If I need to wait twenty minutes to make sure of that, so be it. Maybe I should give her a quick call, though.

Tammi: Grandma, no! You’ll just distract her and make her more unsafe. Let her be. Frank is surely right behind her, and she’s bringing Steven home with her. They’ll get home right at the same time and then the whole family will be here and no one will have to worry.

Betty: Frank? Why would he be driving with Cindy?

Tammi: He works at the school?

Betty: Someone hired Frank!

Teri: I know, it’s hard to believe.

Tammi: He’s been working there for a few years now. It’s nothing new.

Betty: Really? You sure?

Tammi: Yes, I’m sure that I know when my husband started working.

Velma: In fairness, I don’t know when my husband started his job. Mostly because he doesn’t have one and hasn’t for a year!

Mitchell: You’re always complaining about that.

Velma: If you'd get a job, I’ll stop!

Jerry storms into the house, full of snow.

Jerry: It’s ugly out there! I can barely feel my feet.

Betty: I won’t say I told you so, but…

Karl: Did you get the driveway clear, or do you need help?

Jerry: It’s clear for now. It’s coming down like crazy, though. That driveway’s gonna be full of snow again in no time.

Betty: They said to expect blizzard-like conditions!

Jerry: Those aren't blizzard-like conditions. That’s a full-on blizzard.

Danielle: You southerners wouldn’t know a blizzard if it punched you in the face. That’s nothing compared to an old-fashioned New York snow storm!

Jerry: You haven’t even been outside yet.

Danielle: I’ll put my jacket and my shoes on and go see for myself.

Jerry: You’ll regret it.

Two minutes later…

Danielle: Oh my god! It’s horrible out there!

Jerry: If only somebody had warned you!

Danielle: Fine, you were right.

Betty: The only thing he’s been right about today!

Karl: Oh, look. Governor Franzello just issued a state of emergency.

Betty: My baby is out there! In a state of emergency! Virginia is a state of emergency and she’s out there!

Teri: Mom. Why are you like this?

Ralph: She’s not like this with me.

Betty: You don’t leave the house. I’d also be afraid for you if you weren’t right in my sight.

Ralph: I’m not sure which is worse: you always worrying about me if you’re not around me or you always being around me.

Betty: The worrying. Duh.

Ralph: I don’t know…

Betty: You can be mean sometimes.

Tammi: The news is saying to now expect two feet of snow!

Teri: Oh my god, how are we gonna handle being stuck at home until we’re melted out?

Betty: We’re gonna have fun!

Jerry: Those are terrifying words coming from you.

Twenty minutes later…

Betty: Where is my daughter?

Teri: You may not realize this, but it actually takes longer to get home when there’s ten feet of snow coming down.

Betty: I know that, Teresa.

Ralph: She is MAD!

Betty: I’m not mad. I’m just worried about my daughter.

Jerry: Speaking of people we’re worried about, you think Danielle has thawed out yet?

Danielle: Very funny! I drank a hot cocoa and I’m back to room temperature.

Jerry: So you’re ready to go shovel again in about a half hour?

Danielle: Shoveling? In this blizzard?

The front doorknob starts to move.

Betty: Karl! Get the gun!

Karl: We don’t have a gun!

Jerry: I do!

Karl: I don’t, and I’m surely not going to touch yours.

Tammi: Here you can have mine.

Karl: I don’t want yours! I don’t want any!

Teri: It’s probably just -

The door opens.

Cindy: Home sweet home!

Teri: Cindy.

Betty: My baby’s home! I was so scared!

Cindy: Yeah, so was I.

Steven: Grandma said curse words. Many curse words.

Cindy: I also prayed a lot.

Steven: You mostly cursed, though.

Tammi: Mom, don’t curse in front of Steven!

Cindy: I kept drifting off the road and almost got hit by a few cars. I get to curse.

Tammi: Where is my husband, by the way?

Cindy: Oh, he dropped a few work papers on his way in, so he’s out there collecting them.

Tammi: You just left him?

Cindy: I had to get in because I’m wearing a short-sleeve dress and leggings and don’t want to get hypothermia on this day.

Betty: Let’s all celebrate and get cozy! The whole family’s together and we have a nice snow day to relax!

Velma: Actually, I have to work.

Betty: The whole family minus Velma!

Tammi: My husband is out in the snow, running around and collecting papers for some reason. Also, I have to get back to work as well because my break is almost over.

Betty: Okay, okay. Point taken. the rest of us can get cozy and relax.

Karl: I’m going to help Frank with his papers.

Teri: Dad, no! You don’t need to go out in the snow.

Karl: Frank needs help. I’m capable of helping. I haven’t shoveled or anything today, it’s the least I can do.

Teri: I’ll go.

Karl: You?

Teri: Yeah, that does sound far-fetched. I’ll make Danielle go.

Danielle: No you will not! I almost froze to death!

Teri: That’s because you think you’re Brooklyn tough and could go out in a windbreaker and flats without any socks when you’re now a Virginian who needs to bundle up tight when the temperature drops below fifty.

Frank: I’m alive!

Tammi: Frank! Finally, you’re here.

Frank: I didn’t think I’d get here, but I did.

Teri: Lucky us! 

Frank: I fell face first into the snow when I was getting my papers and thought I was gonna be like Jack Nicholson in The Shining.

Betty: You didn’t, though! Movie time!

The next morning…

Betty: Look at all that snow! My Hate Has No Home Here sign is nowhere in sight!

Karl: What do you think we’re at? Two feet?

Velma: Looks like it’s about a foot and a quarter. We have plenty of time to get to two feet.

Danielle: It’s still coming down quite consistently.

Steven: The sky is angry with us.

Tammi: Oh, my goodness! Steven, you have off today. Why are you up so early?

Steven: It’s just my routine now. I wake up now every day. Usually I sit in my room and play video games until ten. Today I want to play in the snow.

Teri: Wow, Tammi. You don’t even know what your son is doing. He’s getting older, you’re gonna have to keep up with him if you don’t want a repeat of, you know, your parents.

Cindy: Teri, don’t bring that up again in front of Steven.

Steven: Bring what up?

Teri: When two people -

Tammi: Aunt Teri, you are not giving him the birds and the bees talk!

Teri: Aunt Teri! Cuts like a knife all these years later.

Zeke: Can you two stop arguing? I wanna go over to see Amelia but I’m trying to eat breakfast first.

Betty: You are not going anywhere in this!

Zeke: Grandma, Amelia lives right next door. All I have to do is walk through the yard.

Steven: Dad walked through the yard and his feet are purple now!

Frank: They’re getting better, though.

Steven: You cried walking down the steps today.

Tammi: Steven, go get dressed. Your snow boots and snowsuit are in your closet. Your gloves and hat are in the hallway closet, I’ll get them for you.

Steven: Are you coming out with me?

Tammi: I have to work. Ask you… not your father… uh… Aunt Teri!

Teri: I’ll play with the kid. Unlike your hubby and Danielle, I actually know how to dress in the snow.

Betty: You two get back inside soon. I want to watch movies today!

Zeke: Does this mean I get to go to Amelia’s as long as I put boots on?

Jerry: You’re an adult, Zeke. You can go wherever you want in whatever you want.

Zeke: Okay, see ya.

Cindy: We would prefer if you dressed safely, though!

Zeke walks out the door in sneakers and shorts with no coat on and immediately turns back in.

Betty: I told you!

Zeke: I’m just coming back for my sweatpants and boots and jacket.

Zeke grabs his things and leaves.

Betty: He’ll be back.

Karl: I guess we’d better get to shoveling. It’s just piling up more and more as time goes on. It’ll be impossible to shovel if we don’t get out there soon.

Jerry: I’ll help.

Mitchell: I’ll help too.

Velma: Oh, my god. It’s a Hanukkah miracle!

Mitchell: First, I want to watch Groundhog Day. I didn’t get a chance to watch it when it actually was Groundhog Day and I want to make sure I see it this year.

Jerry: We’ll be out there a while, if you start your movie now you won’t miss out on much shoveling at all.

Mitchell: Yay!

Two hours later…

Velma: I can’t believe it wasn’t even a week ago that you were all making fun of me for not going on that log flume ride and now there’s two feet of snow on the ground.

Danielle: The snow doesn’t make you chickening out any less hilarious!

Velma: I didn’t chicken out. I made a personal decision to not venture any further from my comfort zone than I already had on that roller coaster.

Jerry: Not this again.

Danielle: Look on the bright side, Jerry. At least with six of us out here to help, it’s going quickly and you won’t have to hear us for much longer.

Jerry: Oh, there will always be bickering in this family for me to have to listen to.

Karl: It’s one of the great joys of retirement, Jerry. Always here to hear the complaining!

Ralph: My gloves are soaked. I need to go get a dry pair. 

Velma: When you’re in there, tell me husband to get his a-

Mitchell: Hi, Velma!

Velma: Wow, you actually came out. I’m proud of you.

Ralph: You can use my shovel.

Mitchell: Thanks, Ralph.

Karl: Try to throw the snow off to the side without piling it up too high. I want everyone to be able to see pulling out of the driveway.

Mitchell: I’ll try to do that.

Jerry: I want to know something: why did Teri’s dream house have to include a driveway that curves and twists and turns? Why couldn’t it just be a nice, straight driveway like normal people have.

Teri: That wouldn’t be any fun, would it?

Jerry: Where did you come from?

Teri: Steven left me in the snow. I just now crawled out. I’m frozen and I think I might be hallucinating this whole thing.

Velma: You’re not hallucinating.

Teri: That’s what a hallucination would say.

Suddenly, Mitchell slips, hitting his knee and falling flat on his back.

Velma: Mitchell, are you okay?

Teri: Okay, I guess no one cares about Teri now.

Velma: Mitchell, did you hit your head?

Mitchell: No, but I can’t get up. I hit my tailbone real hard.

Velma: Come on, guys. Let’s lift him up and get him in.

Jerry: Just be careful, everyone. Don’t you slip yourselves. Teri’s driveway is very slick right now.

Ten minutes later, the group helps Mitchell in the door.

Betty: What happened?

Mitchell: I fell on the ice and hurt my back.

Velma: And his knee.

Betty: Okay, I’m gonna get you ice and you can lay out here on the sofa. Ralph, get up.

Ralph: I just sat down.

Betty: Up!

Mitchell: I really appreciate everyone helping me out. I really did want to help you all shovel and I can’t believe this happened immediately after I started helping.

Danielle: You’re just allergic to helping, I guess.

Betty: None of this would’ve happened if you’d all just stayed in the house and watched movies and waited until tomorrow to shovel. This much snow is too much for us Virginians to handle.

Velma: I think staying inside is a good idea. Let Mitchell recover, Teri and Frank defrost, and Ralph… I don't know what Ralph’s deal is, actually.

Ralph: I was soaked, but I changed and I’m better now.

Betty: Okay, what should we watch?

Teri: Something warm. Maybe a Christmas yule log?

Betty: We’re watching a movie with Oscar buzz.

Cindy: Oh no.

Betty: We’ll watch this movie about a nurse with colorful hair and you’ll all love it. It looks family-friendly!

Ralph: Mom, I don’t think Promising Young Woman is about quite what you think it’s about.

Betty: I don’t care, the HOA ladies loved it and I want to be involved in their conversations about it at the next meeting.

Teri: Judging by the conditions outside, that next meeting won’t be able to happen until about June.

The next day…

Jerry: We never did finish shoveling yesterday.

Karl: I don’t want to think about the horrors that are in store for us out there.

Jerry: It can’t be that much worse.

Danielle: Let’s just go get it over with, okay?

Jerry: Sounds good to me. I just want to be able to drive so I can escape this place.

Jerry, Karl, Danielle and Velma walk outside.

Karl: Jerry, where did you put the shovels?

Jerry: Nowhere. I didn’t move them.

Karl: I don’t see them where we left them.

Danielle: Did our shovels get stolen?

Karl: I see footprints near where they were.

Danielle: I can’t believe I didn’t even think to bring them in. I was too busy worrying about Velma’s husband.

Velma: Don’t put this on me.

Danielle: I’m not. I’m putting it on Mitchell.

Velma: Okay, put it on him.

Jerry: I have one other shovel. In the shed. Which you can’t get to because of all the snow.

Karl: Let’s just call it a day.

Jerry: Yeah. I don’t need to leave that badly.

What did you think of the new episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments, vote in the poll below and make sure to read a new episode next week!

Who was your favorite character in Our House Season 3 Episode 10 "Our Blizzard?"

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