Marietta Season 4 Episode 11 - Marcy Cantor Stars In Pushing Daisies

Marietta Season 4, Episode 11
Marcy Cantor Stars In Pushing Daisies

Patty Lynn and Martin are sitting in the living room when Kathleen walks into the house.

Patty Lynn: And where have you been today?

Kathleen: Well, mom, I was at a bingo game. Did you miss me while you were watching the Chicago shows?

Martin: I was the one that was worried. You aren’t usually out so late.

Kathleen: Yeah, well one of the other girls got a call during the game and had to run out, so we had to figure out what to do there. It was a big fiasco. I didn’t mean to worry you, everything’s fine. How’s Chicago?

Martin: You know. Still in need of medical attention and still on fire.

Kathleen: Good to know I didn’t miss much. Now, I need to go get changed and ready for bed. Hopefully I’m done by the time PD starts. That’s my favorite.

Martin: You have ten minutes, better hurry!

Kathleen walks upstairs to her bedroom.

Patty Lynn: Do you believe her?

Martin: Do I believe my sister when she says she was at a bingo game? Yeah.

Patty Lynn: I just hope she wasn’t out getting into trouble.

Martin: Trouble? Honey, she's eighty years old. The only trouble she’s getting into is falling and not being able to get back up

Patty Lynn: Do you think she found a new man?

Martin: No, but that’s not a topic I tend to think about too often.

Patty Lynn: So you buy her excuse?

Martin: Yes. Now, can we finish Chicago Fire?

Patty Lynn: Is that all you care about?

Martin: Right now? It’s definitely at the top of my list.

Patty Lynn: I’m just worried about her! What if she’s gotten into drugs? I will not have a junkie in this house!

Martin: Are you for real?

Patty Lynn: Yes!

Martin: Patty Lynn, she got home an hour late. That doesn’t mean she was shooting up or snorting coke with the ladies at the Shady Oaks.

Kathleen: What are you two going on about?

Patty Lynn: Oh, nothing.

Martin: She thinks you’re a drug addict now.

Kathleen: That’s the most insane thing I’ve ever heard. Makes sense it would come from Patty Lynn.

Patty Lynn: You are so rude to me.

Kathleen: You just insinuated that I’m hopped up on drugs!

Patty Lynn: Out of concern for you!

Kathleen: Well, I’m not on drugs. Now, can we watch TV before it’s time for bed?

Martin: I think that’s a great idea!

Patty Lynn: Now that everything is cleared up, I think that’s a great idea.

The next morning…

Patty Lynn: Kathleen, why do you look like that? You look like Sally Field in Steel Magnolias.

Kathleen: I just found out why Dottie Carrol ran off during the bingo game.

Patty Lynn: That’s why you look so sad? Is she your dealer? She ran off because she ran out of drugs.

Kathleen: I think you should sit down, maybe set down your coffee mug.

Patty Lynn: No need to be so overdramatic, I already kno-

Kathleen: Patty Lynn, I’m serious.

Patty Lynn: As am I.

Martin: Pat, just -

Patty Lynn: Did you just call me “Pat?”

Martin: Not the point! Listen to her!

Kathleen: Marcy Cantor passed last night. They don’t know what caused it, but they think it was a stroke.

Patty Lynn: You’re kidding?

Kathleen: I know I have a dark sense of humor, but I wouldn’t joke about that. She’s gone.

Patty Lynn: Are you sure?

Martin: Honey, I know it’s hard to grasp, but it’s true.

Patty Lynn: How would you know? Did you see the body? Movie rules state that you can never truly be sure someone’s dead until you see their body. What if this is just a cruel joke? She’s known to do that. She hates me, this is a prank.

Kathleen: Patty Lynn! She’s dead!

Patty Lynn: She’s dead.

Kathleen: She’s dead.

Patty Lynn: Oh, my god! She’s dead! Marcy Cantor is dead!

Martin: You were friends with her for as long as I can remember. I know this is hard.

Patty Lynn: Well, we didn’t exactly have a “Seasons in the Sun”-type relationship, but I will miss her. Who will I yell at now?

Kathleen: I’m here for you.

Patty Lynn: To yell at?

Kathleen: If that’s what makes you feel better.

Later that day…

Sarah: Grandma, why do you look so down?

Patty Lynn: I can ask you the same question.

Sarah: Algebra.

Patty Lynn: It’s tough, I know.

Sarah: Algebra was a thing when you were in school?

Martin: Ah, the charming sarcasm of the youth.

Sarah: Okay, grandma. Time to tell me why you look like someone just died.

Patty Lynn: Well, someone did just die.

Sarah: Oh, my god! Who?

Patty Lynn: Marcy Cantor.

Sarah: Is that that lady you hate?

Martin: Sure is!

Patty Lynn: She was the most complicated woman I’ve ever met.

Sarah: You hated her. That’s not complicated.

Patty Lynn: You don’t know the full story.

Sarah: You got mad at aunt Kathleen like two weeks ago because she played bridge with her.

Kathleen: She did, didn’t she?

Patty Lynn: That was then, and this is now.

Kathleen: Katy Perry said that once.

Patty Lynn: Since when do you listen to Katy Perry?

Kathleen: I have grandchildren.

Sarah: What’s your favorite song by her? Mine is Firework.

Kathleen: Mine’s Peacock.

Sarah: Oh… wow! Okay, aunt Kathleen! You're a little weirder than I thought.

Patty Lynn: How did this turn into a conversation about Katy Perry?

Martin: I was wondering the same thing.

Patty Lynn: All I was trying to say was that I may have had my issues with her in the past, but we were still friends for so long. I will miss our friendly feud.

Kathleen: Didn’t you slash her tires once?

Patty Lynn: She slashed my tires! I was the victim!

Sarah: She sounds like a wonderful lady. Can we watch Gilmore Girls now?

Kathleen: I’d rather set my hair on fire.

Sarah: Grandma, where’s your lighter?

Marietta walks into the house.

Marietta: Oh, mom! I’m so sorry!

Patty Lynn: Marietta! The heck are you doing here so early?

Sarah: Yeah, aunt Kathleen was just about to enjoy a new Gilmore Girls! We’re late in the run now, it genuinely is beginning to suck, she finally has a point.

Marietta: I just heard about Marcy. Amy saw it in the online obituaries.

Amy: We all came as soon as we could.

Patty Lynn: Oh, great. Now I have to entertain guests.

Tammy: You entertain us just fine by being yourself.

Marietta: Are you okay, mom?

Patty Lynn: Why is everyone so worried about me? I am fine!

Tammy: We bought you flowers, anyway.

Patty Lynn: You’re all acting like I’m her widow, my goodness.

Tammy: When someone close to someone we’re close to dies -

Amy: What was that word salad?

Tammy: I’m trying to be profound.

Amy: Profoundly confusing?

Martin: She’s been taking it petty well, better than I expected. It’s sweet of you to all stop by, though.

Sarah: Why was Amy reading the obituaries, though? Just for fun?

Amy: When you get to my age, you have to check every once in a while.

Kathleen: And when you get to our age, you can’t check the obituaries because it fills up your whole week.

Sarah: Huh?

Kathleen: Well, when five people you know kick it every week… your schedule fills up.

Marietta: We shouldn’t be talking about funerals in front of mom.

Patty Lynn: Why? You think I can’t take it?

Marietta: It’s just something I think we should avoid talking about.

Sarah: Yea, we don’t want to remind grandma that she might after to go to the funeral of that woman she hated so much.

Marietta: Sarah!

Sarah: It’s true! She’s gonna get invited.

Marietta: Stop saying she hated Marcy. She doesn’t need to hear that right now.

Tammy: We should do something fun! Let’s go to the movies!

Marietta: And see what? Another Spider-Man? Another Scream? A movie about pizza? Come on, Tammy.

Patty Lynn: I wanted to see the new Scream!

Sarah: Grandma wants to see Scream? is she okay?

Patty Lynn: I love a good horror movie.

Marietta: Since when? The scariest costume I’ve ever seen you wear on Halloween was when you went as Madonna last year.

Patty Lynn: Come on, y’all. This could cheer me up.

Marietta: But you just said you were okay?

Patty Lynn: I lied, take me to the movie.

Martin: Well, we might as well. The tickets are cheaper on a Tuesday…

Patty Lynn: That’s the spirit, honey! I’ll grab my purse.

Sarah: Let’s not tell dad what movie we went to see. He’d get all worried about me having nightmares

Marietta: Well, is it going to give you nightmares?

Sarah: Probably, but that’s sort of the point of a horror movie, isn't it?

Tammy: I remember when I saw my first horror movie in the theater as a teenager.

Amy: Nosferatu?

Tammy: Very funny.

Amy: That was cruel of me. It was Frankenstein, right?

Tammy: It was Psycho. Like you.

Marietta: Enough of… whatever this is. We better get going so we’re home before mom gets hangry.

Tammy: I’ve never seen Patty Lynn “hangry.”

Marietta: That’s because we know to feed her before the hunger gets that bad.

Amy: She’s got movie theater popcorn, she’s good.

The phone rings.

Kathleen: You don’t need to answer, let’s just go.

Patty Lynn: No, it’s Milton.

Sarah: Then you really don’t need to answer.

Patty Lynn: You guys go ahead and get in the car. I’ll be out soon.

Amy: Don’t be too long, it’s cold out there.

Tammy: Cold? It’s seventy degrees out there.

Amy: I know. Brr.

Marietta: I feel like I’m with Statler and Waldorf every time I hang out with you two.

Amy: Are those the old Muppets?

Marietta: They are indeed.

Amy: Well, they’re old in comparison to me. They’re a little young for Tammy.

Patty Lynn: Oh, I forgot to answer the phone!

Kathleen: Good lord.

Martin: I’m going to go start the car. Let’s go, everyone.

Patty Lynn picks up the phone

Patty Lynn: Honey, what’s going on?

Milton: Moira just told me about Marcy. I’m sorry, mom.

Kate: Send her our love, Milton!

Ellie: Yeah, make sure she knows she’s in our thoughts and prayers! I don’t know who Marcy is, but I’m sure she was very important to her.

Patty Lynn: Why is everyone so worried about me today? It’s so weird!

Kate: What’d she say, Milton? Is she doing okay?

Milton: She said she appreciates your kind words and she thinks it’s so nice that you thought of her.

Patty Lynn: I didn’t say that, but I do think it’s sweet.

Ellie: That’s nice. Can we go to dinner?

Patty Lynn: You guys go to dinner. I’m fine, Milton.

Milton: You sure?

Patty Lynn: Yes, Milton. You go have a nice dinner with your friends, even if it is too early for that. I’m going to the movies. We’re both having fun!

Milton: We’ll talk later, mom. I’ll be thinking about you!

That night, in bed…

Patty Lynn: Martin…

Martin: Yes, honey?

Patty Lynn: I can’t sleep.

Martin: I knew Scream was going to be too much for you to handle.

Patty Lynn: No, that’s not why!

Martin: Well, then what’s going on? You’ve repeatedly insisted that Marcy dying hasn’t effected you, so surely it isn’t that.

Patty Lynn: It’s that, Martin. I’m sad! I wasn’t ready for that awful monster to leave me!

Martin: I know, honey. Your feud with her gave you something to be passionate about. It’ll be okay, though. Maybe you can take up knitting.

Patty Lynn: I’m serious! In some weird way, I’m going to miss her. I’ll miss yelling at her, that’s for sure.

Martin: That’s why god invented cemeteries. Great place to go and scream. Now, let’s get to sleep.

Patty Lynn: What if she comes to me in my dreams?

Martin: She’s not Jacob Marley, Patty Lynn. I think you’re safe.

Patty Lynn: Who?

Martin: From A Chri- never mind. Goodnight, darling.

Patty Lynn: Good night, honey.

The next morning, at breakfast…

Kathleen: Patty Lynn, a call for you.

Patty Lynn: At seven in the morning?

Kathleen: It’s not that early. Not for us civ-

Patty Lynn: Just give me the phone. Actually, wait. Who is it?

Kathleen: Marcy Cantor’s daughter, Priscilla.

Patty Lynn: Oy.

Patty Lynn answers the phone.

Patty Lynn: Honey, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mother was a great woman.

Priscilla: Thank you. She thought so highly of you.

Patty Lynn: She did?

Priscilla: I know you two fought a lot, but she thought it was so hilarious. She was never very serious about it.

Patty Lynn: She wasn’t?

Priscilla: No, never. You two grew apart over the years, and that upset her, but she never stopped holding you in a high regard. She loved every minute she spent with you. She could be such a menace to the ones she loved, but that’s how she showed that she cared.

Patty Lynn: No kidding. I never knew that.

Priscilla: That’s why I have something to ask you. I don’t want to burden you, but I would so appreciate it if you could deliver a eulogy at my mom’s funeral.

Patty Lynn: Me?

Priscilla: You sure ask a lot of questions. Yes, you. It would be such an honor.

Patty Lynn: Dear, it was news to me to hear that your mother actually liked me. Do you really think I’m a good choice for a eulogy? That’s a big deal!

Priscilla: Yes, I really think it needs to be you. It’s what she’d want.

Patty Lynn: Let me think about it, okay? It’s so sweet of you to ask, but I’m not sure I’m right for it. When’s the funeral?

Priscilla: Friday.

Patty Lynn: I’ll let you know by tonight, okay?

Priscilla: Thank you. I really hope you'll do it, but if you don’t, I understand.

Patty Lynn: No matter what, I’ll see you Saturday. Take care, hon.

Patty Lynn hangs up.

Martin: What was that about?

Patty Lynn: Get this. Priscilla wants me to eulogize Marcy at her funeral.

Martin: Oh, wow.

Kathleen: What are you going to do? You hate the woman and she hated you. I don’t exactly think that’s eulogy material. And don’t go up there and lie about how good she was. God doesn’t appreciate lying.

Patty Lynn: Apparently, Marcy liked me.

Kathleen: She did?

Patty Lynn: I’m as shocked as you are.

Martin: You liked her too, I know you did.

Patty Lynn: I was entertained by her.

Kathleen: You almost blew an artery every time you saw her.

Patty Lynn: I think I should do the eulogy. I owe it to her. And it can give me closure.

Martin: That’s how I feel.

Kathleen: I’ll be there to support you.

Patty Lynn: I’m delivering a eulogy at my enemy’s funeral, not doing the school musical. You don’t need to be there in the audience for me if you don’t want to be.

Kathleen: No, I’m going. Marcy was my acquaintance, too.

Patty Lynn: All right, that’s nice of you. Now, I should go write this thing. And I should let Priscilla know I’m doing it. I’ll be in the library for a while, don’t bug me.

Martin: Wouldn’t dream of it.

In the library, Patty Lynn sits at the table and reminisces of her old times with Marcy.

What did you think of this episode of Marietta? Let us know in the comments, listen to the official playlist, vote in the poll below and make sure to read the new episode next week! 

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