Kevin: CFO
Gregory: General Manager
Christina: Director of Marketing & Promotions
Ruthie: Project Manager
FRED, KEVIN, GREGORY, CHRISTINA, and RUTHIE stand in a large conference room with a diverse group of people.
FRED
Thank you all for coming. As you may know, my name is Fred, and I’m the new CEO of SugarCity. You’re here to focus group test our upcoming product, AGRUS.
RUTHIE
Just for the record, AGRUS was not my idea.
KEVIN sees someone’s hand raised.
KEVIN
Yes?
PERSON 1
Just stretching.
PERSON 1 puts their hand down.
KEVIN
Oh. Of course. Does anyone have a question?
The same person puts their hand back up.
KEVIN
Still stretching or got a question this time?
PERSON 1
Question. What exactly are we doing?
PERSON 2
Yeah, I’m just here for the free candy.
CHRISTINA
I really hate to break it to you, but there’s no free candy here.
PERSON 2 as well as some other people stand up and leave.
CHRISTINA
You’re all here to give us feedback on the name.
PERSON 1
If I could ask my question now, what’s AGRUS?
CHRISTINA
Exactly!
GREGORY
Let me ask you all a question, when you hear AGRUS, what do you think?
PERSON 3
Confusion.
Other people nod their heads in agreement.
GREGORY
Now picture this. You’re at the store and you come across the candy aisle. You see something that says AGRUS on it. Are you buying it?
PERSON 4
What’s in it?
CHRISTINA
That’s besides the point, we’re asking for your thoughts on the name.
FRED
Alright put it this way, would any of you file a lawsuit against SugarCity if we went ahead with a candy bar named AGRUS?
Everyone shakes their head ‘no.’
FRED
Do any of you know of anyone who would file a lawsuit against SugarCity if we went ahead with a candy bar named AGRUS?
PERSON 5
My cousin bets on lawsuits.
FRED
Not what I was asking.
CHRISTINA
I don’t think lawsuits are in our near future based off this.
RUTHIE
As Project Manager, I say we wrap this up soon.
PERSON 6
Hold up—YOU’RE project manager?
RUTHIE
I know, I know, I hate the name, but I gotta be the project manager of something. Now, if the name ARGUS—
CHRISTINA
AGRUS.
RUTHIE
AGRUS, confuses you, you can leave.
Everyone in the focus group stands up and walks out of the room.
CHRISTINA
So they’re all confused. I don’t think that could’ve gone any better!
FRED
Now let’s advertise this thing.
CHRISTINA
Uh…we have to make it first.
GREGORY
Luckily we have all the ingredients we need in the factory already so we should be able to start production soon.
RUTHIE
Also we gotta design the wrappers.
KEVIN
Sounds like you just volunteered on that one.
CHRISTINA
One step at a time here, we focus grouped the name, now let’s just make the bars and go from there.
FRED
Yeah. That.