EVAN FIXEWORM wakes up with his wife, SAMANTHA, next to him.
EVAN
I’ve slept on it.
SAMANTHA
Slept on what?
EVAN
My decision. Remember? You told me to sleep on the idea of being a stay-at-home dad.
SAMANTHA
Oh! I figured you’d forget.
EVAN
I’ve made my decision.
SAMANTHA
What is it?
EVAN
I can’t just tell you! I need a whole production.
SAMANTHA rolls her eyes.
SAMANTHA [yelling]
KIDS! GET OUT OF BED!
EVAN and SAMANTHA meet PETER and TRENT in the living room.
EVAN
Guys, I have something to say.
PETER
What about mom?
EVAN
What about her?
PETER
You said guys.
EVAN
I meant all three of you. So, want to hear?
SAMANTHA
Just get on with it, Evan.
EVAN
I’ve decided to become a stay-at-home President.
TRENT
Huh?
EVAN
That’s right. You know, some people are stay-at-home dads. Either they work from home or they solely take care of the kids. I’ve decide that is what’s best for me.
TRENT
But what’s a stay-at-home President?
EVAN
I miss being President. So I hereby declare myself President of the house by executive order!
SAMANTHA
Oh no.
EVAN
This is going to be fun, everyone! I get to be President without getting seen differently by others, and you get to see me more often!
TRENT
I’m happy about it, Dad.
EVAN
President Dad.
TRENT
Fine. Whatever keeps you here and away from wherever you were before.
EVAN
I told you, I served both terms. I couldn’t run for re-election, as much as everyone wanted me to.
PETER
So you’re just going to tell us what to do all the time and call yourself President?
EVAN
Your mom will help me. She’ll be my Congress.
SAMANTHA
I will?
EVAN
You will. This will be fun.
SAMANTHA
For you it will be.
EVAN
You don’t think it’ll be fun? What if I pass an executive order demanding it be fun?
SAMANTHA laughs.
SAMANTHA
I guess we can try this out.
PETER
Can I be the Supreme Court? That way I can judge your requests to be unconstitutional so I won’t have to do them!
EVAN
And I can veto whatever decision your mom tells me to make.
TRENT
I’ll be Vice President!
SAMANTHA
That’s a big role, Trent.
EVAN whispers to SAMANTHA.
SAMANTHA
Actually...yeah go ahead, be Vice President.
EVAN
Only in this family could this happen.
SAMANTHA
Guess I married the right guy. Or wrong guy. I’ll wait and see how this plays out. Now Evan, I would like if you could make the kids breakfast.
EVAN
Vetoed!
PETER
Unconstitutional veto, you have to make us breakfast!
EVAN
Actually, I have...a thing, I’ll have my Vice President do it.
TRENT
But I don’t know how to make breakfast!
EVAN gets up and starts to walk away.
EVAN
Good luck!
TRENT walks to the kitchen and puts a box of cereal at PETER’s chair and the waffle maker by SAMATHA’s. He then takes out a chocolate bar and eats it for his own breakfast.