Season 3 Episode 10 Written by
William Fry & Michael Ledesma
INT. LIBRARY - DAY
Andrew, Edison, and Megan sit at a study table. Edison is on a dating app.
ANDREW
How's the dating app stuff going?
EDISON
Terrible. All these profiles either want me to follow them on Instagram or they’re just plain spam.
MEGAN
Told you.
ANDREW
I can set you up with my cousin. She just got out of a bad relationship.
EDISON
Thank you but no. Megan, aren’t any of your female friends straight?
MEGAN
Yes, quite a few.
EDISON
Can you set me up with one of them?
MEGAN
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh-
Sarah and Brittaney appear at the table and take a seat.
SARAH
Hey, so Britt and I were talking, and we were thinking of having a
little Christmas party this Friday.
ANDREW
I thought we had dinner with your parents.
SARAH
They had to cancel.
ANDREW
Aw man. I was hoping to continue talking to your dad about football and other sports.
SARAH
Andrew, sweetheart, my dad knew you were faking.
ANDREW
Really?
SARAH
His first clue was when you called football the sport with the weird shaped ball.
ANDREW
Oh.
SARAH
So, about the party? What do you all think?
EDISON
We can't have parties anymore.
SARAH
Not at your apartment. Britt and I moved in together.
ANDREW
Sounds fun.
BRITT
Great. Megan? Edison?
EDISON
I'm in.
MEGAN
Yeah.
SARAH
Okay then. This Friday at 6. See you all there.
Sarah and Brittaney leave. Edison gets up.
EDISON
Well, I got to go to class and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m actually excited for the distraction.
Edison leaves.
INT. SARAH AND BRITTANEY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Andrew, Sarah, and Brittaney talk to other invited guests. The room is decorated in the spirit of Christmas. On one table, there is food and refreshments. Everyone is dressed in casual formal wear.
Edison and Megan enter.
MEGAN
Are you sure you can do this?
EDISON
Can I party? Of course, I can. You’re looking at the king of parties.
MEGAN
What I meant is, can you handle being around Brittaney?
EDISON
Yeah. Yeah, we talked and we have an understanding now. We’re friends. Good friends.
Edison and Megan join the others.
The party goes along splendidly. Everyone is having a good time. Even Edison and Brittaney are having fun together.
The old group of friends enjoy themselves.
MARIO (Italian, 21) enters the apartment. Brittaney sees him and excitedly motions for him to come over which Mario does.
BRITTANEY
Everyone, this is Mario.
MARIO
Ciao.
The group stare at Mario.
SARAH
Nice to meet you Mario.
MARIO
You too Sarah.
ANDREW
Nice to meet you. I’m Andrew by the way.
MARIO
Ciao Andrew.
MEGAN
And I’m Megan.
MARIO
Aw yes, the Lebanese woman.
BIRTTANET
Lesbian sweetheart.
MARIO
Ah yes, sorry. My English is good but not perfect.
The group nods in understanding.
BRITTANEY
And this is Edison.
MARIO
Ahhhh Edison. Brittaney has told me a lot about you.
EDISON
All good, I hope.
MARIO
Yes, of course.
BRITTANEY
Mario let’s introduce you to the others.
MARIO
See you later.
Brittaney and Mario leave the group and talk to other people.
SARAH
Wow. He is the hottest man I’ve ever seen.
ANDREW
Uh-
SARAH
Other than you of course.
ANDREW
Good save.
MEGAN
No kidding. For a second, I thought I was straight.
EDISON
So, what, he’s Italian. Big deal. You know they were an axis power in World War II.
Andrew, Sarah, and Megan stare at Edison in mild surprise.
EDISON
I know things.
SARAH
You’re just mad cause now you have confirmation that Brittaney truly has moved on.
EDISON
We’ll see about that.
ANDREW
Oh no, he’s planning on doing something stupid.
Edison walks over to Mario. Brittaney is getting snacks.
EDISON
So, Mario, I’m sure that Brittaney has told you about us.
MARIO
Yes, that you two use to date and were in love.
EDISON
Wait, she said what?
MARIO
She said that you two were in love.
EDISON
When did she say this?
MARIO
On our first date. She talked a lot about you that night. Said how she missed you and how maybe she made a mistake. To be honest, I almost ended the relationship that very night but then-
EDISON
Yeah, nice talking to you. I’m gonna get a drink. You want one?
Before Mario can respond, Edison leaves. Andrew and Sarah sit on the couch.
ANDREW
You know, it’s been one year since I ran across campus in the cold to ask you out.
SARAH
And slipped and fell on your butt breaking your tailbone.
Andrew shifts in his seat.
ANDREW
Yeah, forgot about that.
Andrew and Sarah smile at each other and kiss.
SARAH
Hey, I was thinking. You’ve met my parents.
ANDREW
Yeah.
SARAH
How about I meet yours?
ANDREW
Ohhhhhhh yeah that’s… that's going to be a little difficult.
SARAH
Are they going on another trip? Every time I ask to meet them, they always go on some trip? Do they not like me?
ANDREW
No. No it’s not that.
SARAH
Then what is it?
ANDREW
Well… They don’t exactly... know about us.
SARAH
You haven’t told them we're dating?
ANDREW
Yes, but also no. What I meant was, they don’t know you exist.
Sarah leans away from Andrew.
SARAH
What do you mean they don’t know I exist?
ANDREW
I haven’t told them about you.
SARAH
Andrew, why don’t your parents know I exist?
ANDREW
I-
SARAH
I told my parents about us the first day we met.
ANDREW
It’s just-
SARAH
Are you embarrassed by me?
ANDREW
ME embarrassed by YOU. Sarah, look at you and then look at me.
SARAH
What is it?
The other guests begin looking over at Andrew and Sarah.
ANDREW
Can we talk about this another time?
SARAH
No, we’re going to talk about this now. Why don’t your parents know about me?
ANDREW
Because they are terrible people.
SARAH
What?
ANDREW
They’re terrible people. They don’t love each other. All they do is fight. I didn’t want to expose you tothat.
SARAH
Oh please Andrew, every couple fights.
ANDREW
Not like them.
SARAH
Do your parents know about Megan?
ANDREW
Yes.
SARAH
And Edison?
ANDREW
Um yeah.
SARAH
Wait, what about Gabby. Did you tell them about Gabby?
ANDREW
Uhhhhhhhhh.
SARAH
Oh… my… gosh. You were okay with telling them about Gabby but not me?
ANDREW
Gabby was different. I didn’t really see a future with her.
Megan walks over to the couple.
MEGAN
Hey so everyone can actually hear you.
ANDREW
No shit Megan.
EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - NIGHT
Snow falls and cakes the ground. Edison stands outside fighting to stay warm. Brittaney exits her apartment.
BRITTANEY
I got your text. What’s wrong?
EDISON
Why are we fooling ourselves?
BRITTANEY
What?
EDISON
Brittaney, I love you and I know you love me.
BRITTANEY
Oh Edison-
EDISON
Mario told me that you told him that you loved me. That you regretted us breaking up.
BRITTANEY
Edison.
EDISON
Britt, It’s supposed to be you and me. We’re endgame. Like Jim and Karen.
BRITTANEY
You mean Jim and Pam.
EDISON
No, I mean Karen. Don’t get me wrong, I like Pam, but Jim was an idiot for dumping Karen.
Edison takes Brittaney's hand.
EDISON
I reserved a table for us at a VERY expensive restaurant. I had to raid Andrew’s money stash. He thinks he's so clever when he hides it in his sock drawer.
BRITTANEY
Edison.
EDISON
Yeah?
BRITTANEY
I’m with Mario now, I’m not going to just give that up.
EDISON
But you told him-
BRITTANEY
That was during my first week in Italy. Of course, I felt regrets. But then Mario and I started to hang out more and more and then we... got together.
Brittaney lets go of Edison’s hand.
EDISON
What’re you saying?
BRITTANEY
I’m saying that we can either be friends or nothing at all.
Sad pause.
BRITTANEY
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to my party.
Brittaney leaves Edison standing in the cold. Snow falls around him.
Later.
INT. SARAH AND BRITTANEY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
The party is over. Andrew and Sarah are still on the couch.
ANDREW
I’m gonna go.
SARAH
Okay.
Andrew gets up and heads to the door.
ANDREW
Are we good?
SARAH
I don’t know.
Andrew Leaves.
Edison sits at a high-end restaurant. A WAITER walks over.
EDISON
Can I get more bread?
WAITER
I’m not sure if your guest is coming, we’re going to have to ask you to give up the table.
Andrew and Megan approach the table.
ANDREW
We’re here. Sorry we’re late.
The three friends smile at each other. Edison turns to the waiter.
EDISON
More bread please.
The waiter takes the empty basket and leaves.
EDISON
Thanks.
ANDREW
Don’t mention it. Besides, I’m technically paying for this.
MEGAN
So, we heard about what happened with Brittaney.
EDISON
She really is with Mario.
MEGAN
Well, at least you’re not Andrew.
EDISON
Why, what happened?
ANDREW
Sarah found out that I didn’t tell my parents about us.
EDISON
Ouch.
ANDREW
Yeah.
Edison fills Megan’s glass with wine and offers to fill Andrew’s glass. Andrew takes the bottle and starts chugging it.
ANDREW
Is it just me, or has this semester just been one bad thing after another?
MEGAN
Yeah, it’s been bad. Really, really bad.
Edison raises his glass.
EDISON
Here’s to a better second semester.
Megan picks up an empty glass and clinks with Edison's glass and Andrew’s bottle of wine.
END.
MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS from NUMB HUMOR STUDIOS!