Written by
William Fry & Michael Ledesma
“There is nothing which I dread so much as a division of the republic into two great parties, each arranged under its leader, and concerting measures in opposition to each other. This, in my humble apprehension, is to be dreaded as the greatest political evil under our Constitution.”
-John Adams
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Andrew, Edison, and Megan sit on the couch playing Starquest.
ANDREW
Their fleet is too strong.
EDISON
Use your plasma blasters.
MEGAN
No, save those. Here, I’ll use my photonic cannon.
Sarah enters.
SARAH
Hey, why aren’t you all ready?
The three friends stop and stare at Sarah.
ANDREW
Ready for what? Wait, did we have a date today? I didn’t know. You can’t be mad if I didn’t know.
SARAH
No, we didn’t have a date. Today’s election day, we have to go vote.
EDISON
That’s today?
SARAH
Yes, it’s today.
MEGAN
That would explain the long lines on campus. And all the Trump and Biden posters.
SARAH
How did you all forget about election day? Especially this one? I mean, we finally have a chance to get Trump out of office.
EDISON
Do we really have to vote? We’re right in the middle of a battle.
SARAH
America is in the middle of a battle for its soul against a misogynistic racist orange man.
ANDREW
It is one of our rights as an American. It’d be kinda wrong to not exercise it.
EDISON
Ugh fine, let’s go and vote.
The three stand up.
EDISON
Time to make America great again.
The group stares at Edison in perplexing shock.
SARAH
Are you... are you voting for Trump?
EDISON
I mean that’s none of your business, but for your information, yes I am.
SARAH
But... why? I mean you’re...
EDISON
Sarah, did you just assume I was a Democrat because I’m Hispanic?
SARAH
What? No. It's just... Well, Trump is against immigrants.
EDISON
My parents came here legally. They filled out the paperwork and did the work to become U.S. citizens.
SARAH
I... I didn’t know that.
EDISON
Uh-huh. Ok, let’s go vote.
EXT. CAMPUS VOTING BUILDING - DAY
The group stands in line waiting to vote. They are surrounded by dozens of students each wearing shirts, hats, or buttons displaying their political affiliation.
EDISON
Holy shit this line is long.
SARAH
I know, isn’t it great. All these people are voting.
EDISON
Wanna bet that they had nothing else better to do.
Edison looks around. He sees a beautiful brunette woman running a JOE BIDEN stand.
EDISON
Wow. Dude look.
Andrew looks at the girl.
ANDREW
Go talk to her.
MEGAN
Yeah like she’s gonna talk to a Trump supporter.
EDISON
Oh please, I’ll just do what every politician does. Change the way I act to get people to like me. Now, if you’ll excuse me...
Edison walks away towards the table. He reaches the table. The girl notices him.
EDISON
Hey.
SUSAN
Hey. Are you here to vote?
EDISON
Yeah. Although, I’m having trouble deciding who to vote for. Maybe you can help?
Susan smiles at Edison.
The group watches as Edison and Susan continue to talk. Sarah looks distracted.
ANDREW
You ok?
SARAH
Yeah. It’s just, I thought he was a Democrat. Not because he’s... you know... Hispanic. Oh well, at least we still got women. We gotta support the guy with the woman VP.
MEGAN
Actually, I’m voting for Trump.
Sarah stares at Megan in shock.
SARAH
What?
MEGAN
I’m a Republican.
SARAH
Why?
MEGAN
Because I believe in their values.
SARAH
But you know how they feel about your people.
Awkward silence.
MEGAN
“Your people”?
SARAH
Let me rephrase that.
MEGAN
Sarah, did you assume that I was a Democrat because I’m a lesbian?
SARAH
No I- Well it’s just... okay fine. Yes, I thought you were a Democrat because you’re a lesbian.
MEGAN
Well, I’m not.
SARAH
Okay, but why are you voting for Trump? He’s crazy. You’ve heard what he’s said about women.
MEGAN
I know. But he’s gotten stuff done.
SARAH
Yeah like separating families.
MEGAN
Well maybe if they didn’t break the law-
SARAH
That’s such a white person thing to say.
MEGAN
You’re white.
Edison helps Susan pass out flyers.
EDISON
Oh yes, Joe Biden is “definitely” gonna win.
SUSAN
Wow, you’re really passionate about politics.
EDISON
Of course. Foundation of our country.
Susan passes out the last flyer.
SUSAN
I gotta go make more copies.
EDISON
Why don’t I tag along, I can help.
The voting line continues to move.
SARAH
Okay, why else are you voting Republican?
MEGAN
Well, I support the 2nd amendment and I’m pro-life.
SARAH
But what about the woman’s right to choose?
MEGAN
What about the innocent babies who are murdered?
SARAH
A woman should still be able to choose.
MEGAN
Why, because they forgot to use a condom?
SARAH
That is not the only reason why women get abortions.
Around them, the other students begin listening to the conversation. The Republican students gather behind Megan. The Democrat students gather behind Sarah.
REPUBLICAN STUDENT
Biden sucks!
DEMOCRAT STUDENT
Fuck Trump!
The students begin yelling at each other. Andrew steps onto a giant rock.
ANDREW
Hey! Hey!
The students stop yelling and look at Andrew.
ANDREW
What in the world is wrong with you people? You’re allowing politics to control who you like and dislike. Who cares if one of the candidates looks like they're wearing a spray tan mask. Who cares if one of the candidates seems senile. The only people who truly matter are us. United. Politicians don’t want that. They want us divided because as long as we are, only one side will ever win. Politicians don’t really care about us. They just want to be liked. Politicians from both sides. All they care about is being liked. That's why they’ll say anything or agree with anything just so you’ll like them, all so they can win a vote. Let’s not let politics define us. Let US define us.
There is a deafening silence. Sarah and Megan smile at each other apologetically.
A beer bottle flies through the air and hits Andrew in the head.
INT. LIBRARY - DAY
Edison and Susan make more copies of the flyer.
SUSAN
It’s so nice to meet another Democrat. My roommates are Trump supporters.
EDISON
So why do you live with them?
SUSAN
They pay most of the rent.
EDISON
I see. Hey, wanna get coffee after this?
SUSAN
What?
EDISON
Coffee. It’s a caffeinated drink made from beans. It’s like a billion-dollar industry.
SUSAN
I know what coffee is. And yes, I would like to get some after.
Susan looks at the bulletin board and see’s a pro-police poster.
SUSAN
Ugh.
EDISON
What?
SUSAN
We really need to defund the police.
Edison sighs.
EDISON
Actually, I don't think we can get that coffee.
SUSAN
Why?
EDISON
My uncle is a cop. Sooooo yeah, later.
Edison walks away and turns around.
EDISON
Oh and one more thing. Trump 2020!
EXT. VOTING BUILDING - DAY
Sarah puts a band-aid on Andrew’s forehead.
SARAH
That was a really good speech.
MEGAN
Kinda cheesy, but well said.
SARAH
I was letting politics judge who I liked.
ANDREW
People just need to know that life isn’t just about politics. It’s about...
SARAH
It’s about what?
ANDREW
Huh?
MEGAN
I think that bottle hit him harder than we thought.
Edison walks over to the group.
MEGAN
How’d it go with the girl?
EDISON
Meh. Not my type.
Edison sees the band-aid on Andrew's forehead.
EDISON
What happened to you?
ANDREW
Politics.
END.