Finally Growing Up Season 1 Episode 2: The Next Step


CHRIS, JULIAN, and DREW are sitting in the living room, facing one another.

JULIAN
Get a job.

DREW
I can’t get a job, I’m 10.

CHRIS
He was talking to me. And who’s hiring teenagers right now?

JULIAN
Pharmacies.

CHRIS
You think I know how to make medication?

JULIAN
Nope.

CHRIS
Then how would I be able to work in a pharmacy.

JULIAN
Entertain the people in line.

CHRIS
What now?

JULIAN
Uncle Josh and Uncle Andrew did it for a little while in a kids’ doctor’s office.

CHRIS
That’s—

JULIAN
It’s more tame than you’re thinking.

CHRIS
I’ll have to trust you there. And no, I’m not getting a job as someone who entertains people in line. Plus, everyone just stays in their cars now and drives to the window like they’re getting a burger.

DREW
Or 20.

CHRIS
That’s not nice.

DREW
It’s true.

JULIAN
Not exactly. Speaking of which, maybe there are jobs out there where you can cook burgers?

CHRIS
I can’t even cook for ourselves! Also everyone’s looking to hire experienced chefs to cook the burgers.

DREW
You’re an experienced chef.

CHRIS
What makes you think that?

DREW
You made breakfast today.

CHRIS
I made cereal, and even then I accidentally put milk in it.

JULIAN
Um...what do you usually put in it?

CHRIS
Apple juice.

DREW
Sounds disgusting.

CHRIS
Tastes it too.

JULIAN
Sometimes you make no sense to me.

CHRIS
Eating it with milk is good. We have no money so to make sure I don’t overeat I make it as worse as I possibly can.

DREW
That’s actually smart. And also sad.

JULIAN
That’s what happens when we have no money and Chris has no job.

CHRIS
I’m also in school, remember.

JULIAN
Aren’t you on mute the whole time now that we’re all taking classes in our pajamas under the kitchen table?

CHRIS
I’m on mute. Not sure about the under the kitchen table part.

JULIAN
Does the teacher see you?

CHRIS
No, we all pick out profile images that actually show puppets.

DREW
That’s weird.

CHRIS
Right?

JULIAN
Get a job and bring your computer into work with you!

CHRIS
Then I’d get fired for going to school while at work.

JULIAN
You don’t even want to try it?

CHRIS
No way.

JULIAN
Then we’ll have no money.

CHRIS
I have an idea.

DREW
What is it?

CHRIS
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

DREW
Probably not.

CHRIS
I’m not thinking anything. Say your idea.

DREW
Doesn’t Aunt Catherine have a ton of money?

CHRIS
She’s being sarcastic when she says that.

DREW
But she’s marrying rich, right?

CHRIS
I don’t think his name is Rich.

DREW
Whatever his name is, I think we need to try to make a little deal with him.

JULIAN
We have to try that.

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