8 Years Later Episode 5: President Blogger

 


EVAN FIXEWORM is in his living room alongside his wife, SAMANTHA, and sons, PETER and TRENT. 


EVAN

So I’m starting a blog I guess. 


PETER

Good for you, Dad. 


SAMANTHA

Yeah, after failing at everything else post-Presidency, maybe this is for you. 


EVAN

What should I call it? I’m thinking Fixed On Worms.


TRENT

Huh?


EVAN

Get it? Fixeworm? Fixed On Worms?


SAMANTHA

Terrible.


EVAN

People will never know it’s me. 


SAMANTHA

If you say so. 


EVAN opens up his laptop and quickly starts a blog. 


EVAN

I need to make a first post now...


TRENT

How about your time as President?


EVAN

No, the point is that I can write away without anyone noticing who I am. 


PETER

I have an idea: you can write about basketball! You like that.


EVAN

Yeah...I guess that’s a good idea. 


EVAN writes an article on basketball; what his favorite teams are, who his favorite players are, what his favorite plays on offense and defense are, and what his strategy is for fantasy basketball. 


EVAN

Posted. I don’t expect too many people to read it, but it sure was fun to write! I could get used to this. Come on, give me more ideas.


PETER

Fire hydrants!


TRENT

Paint!


SAMANTHA

Street lights!


EVAN

No, I mean real ideas.


PETER

That was a real idea.


TRENT

I thought mine was a good one.


SAMANTHA

Same, there’s a lot of material with street lights. 


EVAN

Or I could just write a follow-up on that basketball article. It already has a few views. How about this: I’ll write one on football.


EVAN writes an article on football similar to the one he wrote on basketball. He publishes it. In just five minutes, his blog has amassed 100 views despite no promotion. 


EVAN

Alright, that’s enough for today. Good work, everyone. And by everyone, I mostly mean me. 


SAMANTHA

Evan?


EVAN

What is it?


SAMANTHA

I’m reading a tabloid online. People are already speculating that you’re running that blog.


EVAN

How could they possibly—ugh, this is—I don’t even know what to say. It was so much fun!


SAMANTHA

Well maybe you can keep doing it. 


EVAN

People are just going to find out it’s me. 


SAMANTHA

And?


EVAN

The former President of the United States doesn’t need that kind of scrutiny. That’s what the past eight years were for. Time for me to do my own thing. Guess I can’t live a semi-secret retirement like I had hoped. 


PETER

You can become a stay-at-home dad.


SAMANTHA

Peter! That’s mean.


EVAN

He has a point. 


SAMANTHA

Sleep on it. I doubt you’ll actually want to do that. 


EVAN

It might be my best option. 

Share this

Related Posts

Previous
Next Post »