What In The World! Season 3 Episode 7: Battle Royale With Cheese

INT. UNKNOWN LOCATION - DAY

 

The Programmer sits at a computer typing furiously. There is a beeping. On the computer screen, the words ANTIVIRUS COMPLETE. The Programmer sits back in his wheelchair and lets out a cry of relief and victory. He presses a button on the control board.

 

THE PROGRAMMER

I did it! The antivirus is complete!

 

VOICE

Proceed.

 

 

EXT. BATTLE ISLAND - NIGHT

 

The Phoenix Squad sleep in their camp near a lake. Daniel and Joel are the only ones awake.

 

JOEL

Can I ask you something man?


DANIEL

Of course.

 

JOEL

How did you… how did you finally get the nerve to ask Bailey out?

 

DANIEL

Well, I didn’t really ask her out. We sort of just admitted our feelings for each other. Then we had sex.

 

JOEL

Huh.

 

DANIEL

Why do you ask?

 

JOEL

I don’t know if it’s obvious or not, but I kind of have a crush on Jacqueline.

 

DANIEL

Kind of?

 

JOEL

Okay fine, I have a huge crush on her.

 

DANIEL

Dude just do what you told me to always do. Just ask her out.

 

JOEL

I already did but she just wants to be friends. At least until all of this is over.

 

DANIEL

That’s what Bailey and I said. Look where we are now.

 

JOEL

In a simulation trying to kill a computer virus in order to save the last remnant of humanity.

 

DANIEL


Exactly.

 

The two friends laugh.

 

THE PROGRAMMER

Daniel, are you there? Can you hear me?

 

DANIEL

Yeah, I’m here.

 

THE PROGRAMMER

I did it. I finished the antivirus.

 

Daniel and Joel look at each other and stand up. Joel shakes the other awake.

 

DANIEL

What now?

 

THE PROGRAMMER

I’m uploading it to you now.

 

In front of the group, there is a flash of blue light and a rod-like object materializes in front of them. The AV.

 

THE PROGRAMMER

You take that and inject it into Boss. It’ll destroy him and any trace of the virus.

 

Daniel grabs the AV.

 

THE PROGRAMMER

It’s time to end this Daniel. Time to save it all. I have to go now. Make sure everyone is okay here.

Good luck.

 

The group stares at the AV in Daniel’s hands.

 

TYLER

We’re doing it. We’re actually going to do it. Boss is going to die.

 

GREG

Once and for all.


JOEL

So what's the plan Dan?

 

DANIEL

I think it’s safe to assume that Boss is at the Focal.

 

JACQUELINE

Last time you all were there, you nearly got slaughtered.

 

DANIEL

We didn’t have the weapons we have now. We only have to defend ourselves until we can kill Boss. We gotomorrow.

 

Daniel puts his hand out.

 

DANIEL

Let’s finish this. As a squad.

 

The others put their hands on top of Daniel’s.

 

From a distance, unknown to them, they are being watched. An ax and a bow and arrow glow green in the night.

 

The Next Morning.

 

The Phoenix Squad prepares for battle. Daniel sharpens his tomahawk.

 

Jacqueline stands at the edge of the lake. Joel joins her.

 

JOEL

You ready?

 

JACQUELINE

Yeah, you?

 

JOEL

Yep. In a few hours, we’ll have saved some of the human race and reenter the real world.

 

JACQUELINE

What… What was the real world like?

 

JOEL


Well, from what we saw, it looks like a Mad Max movie.

 

JACQUELINE

So, we’ll have to return to this. After we save it.

 

JOEL

It wasn’t so bad. Before the Green Sky at least.

 

JACQUELINE

So, what happens to us? When everything returns to our kind of normal.

 

JOEL

We live life like we did before. We hang out with friends. We fall in love. Everything that we would've done in the real world.

 

Joel and Jacqueline stare at each other.

 

JOEL

I know you said that now wasn't a good time to be… a thing. But let’s face it. There’s never going to be a good time. I like you.

Like really like you. I want you to be the Bride to my Bill.

 

JACQUELINE

You know the Bride kills Bill, right?

 

JOEL

They still loved each other.

 

Joel and Jacqueline smile at each other. They lean into kiss. Behind Joel in the woods, there is a glowing green light. A glowing green ax soars forward. Jacqueline sees it and throws Joel to the side. The green axe lodges itself into Jacqueline’s chest and she falls to the ground twitching. Her body phases in and out between vaporization.

 

Claire emerges from the wood with the Sisterhood and Winston. Joel crawls to Jacqueline and holds her.


JOEL

Hey hey stay with me!

 

CLAIRE

Sorry, did we ruin the romantic moment.

 

Joel glares at Claire and stands up.

 

JOEL

You're going to pay for that.

 

CLAIRE

We’ll see.

 

Claire opens her hand and the ax dislodges itself from Jacqueline’s chest and flies into Claire’s hand. Behind her, Victoria points an arrow at Joel and releases it. The arrow flies at Joel and hits him in the shoulder. He cries in pain and falls to the ground.

 

CLAIRE

Hurts doesn’t. You can thank Boss for that. He’s given our weapons a special kind of ability. One that prevents you from respawning.

 

The rest of the Phoenix Squad appears behind Joel.

 

TYLER

Not again.

 

CLAIRE

Oh great, all of you in one place. Makes our job easier.

 

WINSTON

Daniel is mine.

 

CLAIRE

Yeah yeah whatever. As long as I kill that bitch.

 

Claire points her green ax at Bailey who pulls out her spear.

 

Daniel pulls out his tomahawk, Tyler pulls his knives, and Greg revs up his chainsaw.

 

JOEL


Watch out for their weapons, if you die by them, you won’t respawn.

 

The Phoenix Squad nods and charges at the Sisterhood and Winston.

 

The two sides begin to battle. Daniel fights Winston and the others fight the Sisterhood. Greg kills multiple Sisterhood members. Bailey’s spear is split in two by Claire’s ax. Victoria shoots an arrow at Tyler. Tyler throws his knife and it hits Victoria in the chest. She begins to vaporize, but before she can, Tyler grabs one of the green arrows and lodges it in her head. She vaporizes in a green flash.

 

Bailey dodges Claire’s ax. Claire punches her to the ground and raises her ax. Before she brings it down, she is shot multiple times by Joel with his Glock. Claire stumbles back, dropping her ax. Bailey picks it and lodges it into Claire’s head. Claire dissolves in a flash of green light. Greg finishes off the rest of the Sisterhood.

 

Daniel decapitates Winston with the tomahawk and Winston vaporizes.

 

The Phoenix Squad rushes over to Joel and Jacqueline who is continuing to phase in and out of vaporization.

 

JOEL

Hold one, it's going to be ok. Just hang on.

 

DANIEL

Programmer!

 

THE PROGRAMMER

What the hell did you all get into now!

 

DANIEL

Jacqueline got hit by some weapon. I think it's like Boss’s powers.

 

THE PROGRAMMER

Her vitals are dropping. I’m losing her.

 

JOEL


Do something!

 

THE PROGRAMMER

Her physical body is going into shock. I’m going to see if I can upload her consciousness to the Refugium.

 

Jacqueline puts her hand on Joel’s face and smiles at him. She vaporizes in a flash of light. She leaves behind her katana.

 

JOEL

No. No no no no. Noooooooooooooooo!

 

DANIEL

Programmer? Did you- did you-?

 

THE PROGRAMMER

I lost her. I’m sorry.

 

The group stare in shock and devastation at the spot where Jacqueline used to be.

 

DANIEL

Joel... I’m so sorry.

 

Joel doesn’t answer. He continues staring at the ground.

 

DANIEL

Listen, we have a mission. We need to stop Boss. For her. For everyone.

 

Joel nods.

 

DANIEL

Ok then, let’s-

 

Joel taps his wrist and a tank icon appears on his pop-up screen. He swipes it and it transfers itself to Tyler.

 

TYLER

What’s this?

 

JOEL

Programmer, can you hear me?

 

THE PROGRAMMER


Yes.

 

JOEL

I need you to make a change to my costume.

 

THE PROGRAMMER

What did you have in mind?

 

Joel taps his wrist.

 

JOEL

I’m sending the parameters now.

 

THE PROGRAMMER

Got them. I see. I can do this.

 

JOEL

Great.

 

Joel picks up Jacqueline’s katana and turns to face the group.

 

JOEL

New plan.

 

 

INT. THE FOCAL - DAY

 

Boss sits in a booth in the upper level of the Focal. A player brings Boss a plate with a hamburger.

 

BOSS

I asked for cheese.

 

On the lower level, Adrian and other players patrol the entrance. There is a knock at the door and Adrian walks over to it. He opens it. Standing in the doorway is Joel wielding the katana and dressed in a black suit with yellow lines running down his arms and legs.

 

Boss brings his cheeseburger to his mouth and prepares to take a bite.

 

JOEL

Boss! You and I have unfinished business!

 

Boss drops his cheeseburger and rushes over to the ledge along with other players. On the ground floor, Joel is


standing behind Adrian pointing the Katana at his back. Joel swings the katana and slices off Adrian’s arm. Adrian falls to the ground crying in pain.

 

BOSS

You bastard!

 

Boss looks at all the other players.

 

BOSS

Well, kill him!

 

The players on the second floor jump down to the ground floor and pull out their melee weapons. The players already on the ground floor join them. They surround Joel. One of the players runs forward and Joel swings the katana decapitating the player who vaporizes. There is a slight hesitation. The players stare at each other and then at Joel. They raise their weapons and charge.

 

With the elegance and ferocity of “The Bride”, Joel swings his katana and begins slicing and taking out each and every player who vaporizes. In mere minutes, He has eliminated every single player on the ground floor. On the second floor, more players join Boss. They pull out guns and point them at Joel. Boss smiles.

 

BOSS

You didn’t think it’d be that easy, did you?

 

JOEL

You know, for a second there, yeah, I kind of did. That's why I brought them.

 

There is a huge blast and the front entrance of the Focal is obliterated. The blast knocks Boss and many of the other players down. Outside the entrance is a tank. The top hatch pops open and Tyler emerges.

 

TYLER

Whooohoo! Tank motherfucker!

 

Daniel, Bailey, and Greg enter the focal and stand near Joel. Daniel pulls out his tomahawk, Bailey twirls the two halves of her spear, and Greg revs up his chainsaw. Tyler hops off the tank and joins them. He pulls out two large knives.


Boss gets up and looks down at the Phoenix Squad. Boss’ other players get up.

 

The two sides stare each other down.

 

DANIEL

Let’s finish this.

 

Boss taps his wrist and two green glowing maces appear in his hands. He and the other players jump off the balcony and soar towards the Phoenix Squad.

 

END.

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