College Season 4 Episode 15: Jalapeños to the Eyes

 

Written by William X. Fry and Michael Ledesma

INT. HOUSE - DAY

Edison and Brittaney are on the couch watching tv. Andrew walks out.

ANDREW

Edison, Justin Marfont called.

EDISON

Really? What’d he say?

ANDREW

He said he wants to invest in the sauce.

Edison stands up.

EDISON

Seriously.

ANDREW

Well, he wants us to pitch it to him and some of his friends. 

EDISON

Oh my gosh. Andrew this is it. This the moment that our lives change forever. When we start our career before getting our bachelor’s degrees. Hah! Take that university! When’s the meeting.

ANDREW

Two days from now.

EDIOSN

Okay. Okay, we’ll need to work on our pitch. Make it flashy. Something that’ll catch their attention. Maybe we can get the film club to film something for us.

ANDREW

Or we can just make a PowerPoint. 

EDISON

A PowerPoint? Andrew, this isn’t a homework assignment this is what is going to make us millionaires.

ANDREW

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

BRITTANEY

Andrew’s right. Take a step back. Also, there’s nothing wrong with PowerPoint. Sarah and I’ll help you make your presentation.

Paige and Megan enter the house.

BRITTANEY

And I’m sure that Megan and Paige will help write up some talking points.

MEGAN

For what?

EDISON

Justin Marfont called. He wants to meet with us about our sauce.

MEGAN

That’s great! I’ll write something up.

PAIGE

And I’ll proofread and help with research.

EDISON

Great, Andrew and I will make the sauce.

ANDREW

You got the recipe?

EDISON

Kinda.

ANDREW

Huh?

BRITTANEY

His grandma gave it to me as a wedding gift. 

EDISON

Because she was marrying me so technically, I got it.

Later, in the kitchen…

Andrew and Edison are preparing the necessary ingredients. Andrew is chopping peppers and Edison is blending tomatoes.

EDISON

So, I see you and Sarah are friends again.

ANDREW

Yeah. Losing an organ brings people together.

EDISON

I guess. Britt and I are just glad that you two are no longer gonna be awkward around each other.

ANDREW

Yeah same. Edison.

EDISON

Yeah.

ANDREW

Before I went into surgery I almost told her that I loved her.

EDIOSN

Damn it Andrew.

ANDREW

What?

EDISON

We finally have peace in the house and now you want to blow it up.

ANDREW

Look I’m sorry but… Sarah and I made up. I didn’t stop having feelings for her. 

EDISON

Look Andrew, I was rooting for y’all but marriage has made me wiser.

ANDREW

You blew $300 at Pinballz

EDISON

I almost have enough tickets for the PS5. Anyway, you two had a run at it and it didn’t work. Now, you move on. Simple.

ANDREW

I don’t want to move on.

EDISON

Well, you’re gonna have to learn how. For both of your sakes.

ANDREW

Yeah.

Andrew goes to wipe his eyes.

EDISON

Andrew, no!

But it’s too late. Andrew’s jalapeno hand makes contact with his eyes. There is a few seconds of silence and then… Andrew yells.

ANDREW

My eyes!

EDISON

You idiot!

ANDREW

Idiot!

Andrew grabs some of the chopped Jalapenos and throws it into Edison’s face. Edison starts yelling in pain. 

EDISON

Ahhhhhh!

Edison grabs the chopped Jalapeños and throws it at Andrew who ducks. The Jalapeño pieces fly across the room just as Megan enters hitting her in the face. She starts yelling.

MEGAN

What the hell was that! My eyes!

The trio continues crying in pain. Edison runs over other to the fridge and pulls out the milk. He pours it over his face.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING - DAY

Edison and Andrew step out of a conference room. Their eyes are red. 

BRITTANEY

How’d it go?

EDISON

Great, they want to invest.

ANDREW

They want the product on shelves nationwide.

MEGAN

It was the talking points that sold it wasn’t it.

EDISON

More like my business savvy.

ANDREW

Uh huh. Point is, it looks like we’re getting something out of our four years of education. 

EDISON

Yeah, “education”. 

END.


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