Raymond Island Season 1 Episode 7 - First Cat

Raymond Island Season 1, Episode 7
First Cat

Christina: Mom, did you forget?
Gretchen: Forget what?
Lucinda: Good god, Gretchen. How did you forget?
Gretchen: No, I’m not busy being a governor or anything.
Lucinda: You’re the governor of Rhode Island. Why is this place even a state?
Gretchen: I still have to work. I forgot about whatever this mysterious thing is that I shouldn’t have forgotten.
Christina: We’re going to the animal shelter to volunteer. You said okay when I asked you three weeks ago.
Gretchen: I’m so sorry I forgot, honey! People in this state finally started liking me again and I’ve been so busy trying to capitalize on that by actually getting things done. It’s crazy what you get done when the state legislature actually likes you.
Christina: It’s okay that you forgot, as long as you do come with. I think that can help your image, too.
Gretchen: I really appreciate this reserved, respectful Christina.
Lucinda: She’s only doing this to get what she wants.
Gretchen: I don’t care, I love it! And of course I’m going to come help. I love animals!
Toby: Why don’t we have a pet then, mommy?
Gretchen: Oh Toby, you know we could never get a pet. We’re too busy! We’ll get you a fish if you want one.
Christina: Mom, grandma doesn’t work -
Lucinda: Neither do you so shut it!
Christina: I didn't mean it in a bad way, you didn’t let me finish.
Gretchen: Yeah, mom, calm down. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed today?
Lucinda: I don’t feel good. I have a headache and my throat hurts.
Gretchen: You probably have a cold.
Lucinda: You don’t think I know that?
Gretchen: I’m saying maybe you should stay home today. I’ll call Susana and get her to come with us, it’s no big deal.
Lucinda: Thank you, I appreciate it. I’m going to make myself some tea and lay down in my room.
Anthony: No way, you go back now. I’ll make you your tea.
Lucinda: Just don’t poison it, okay. It’s Earl Grey. Follow the directions on the bag, then put a teaspoon of vanilla and a pinch of lavender in there. And a quarter cup of steamed milk. My milk steamer is -
Anthony: I know where it is, just go relax.
Lucinda: I’ve never said this before. Thank you, Anthony.
Gretchen: She said it! Write this day down, folks! This is a historic moment! Mind saying it again for the camera, mom?
Lucinda: Never!
Lucinda walks back to her room and lays down.
Christina: So, about what I was saying…
Gretchen: I’m scared.
Christina: Grandma doesn’t work, dad works from home, I don’t work aside from doing housework. We can get a pet and give it attention. It would be good for Toby.
Toby: Mom, please!
Gretchen: Oh so you dropped the mommy now?
Toby: Mommy…
Gretchen: I will think about it. I always wanted you kids to have a pet of some kind and it was just never the right time for one.
Christina: Mom… I’m in my twenties now.
Gretchen: You know, I do realize that at this moment. In hindsight, I would’ve done it sooner.
Toby: So we can get a pet?
Gretchen: Let me see how you kids are with the animals at the shelter. Then I’ll decide. As long as that’s okay with your father.
Anthony: Yes, that’s fine. You’ve always been the one that wasn’t for it, I never cared.
Toby: Thank you!
Christina: Be on your best behavior today so we can get one, then! Don’t screw this up for us.
Toby: I will! I want a dog just as much as you do!
Christina: Oh, now who said anything about a dog? I want a cat!
Toby: You can’t walk a cat!
Christina: Yes you can, doofus! Just around the house.
Gretchen: That sounds ridiculous but it’s a conversation for you guys to have. I don’t care either way. Now, just let me call up Susana and get in the shower and we’ll go!
Christina: I’m glad you’re following through, mom. This is very important to me. Not as important as if I actually had a cat, but…
Gretchen: You’re welcome. I’ll ignore that last part for now.
Anthony: I’m presenting your mom with her tea, wish me luck!
Gretchen: Say goodbye to your father, kids. Grandma’s gonna kill her.
Toby: Don’t let her!
Gretchen: Toby, I’m kidding. I thought you’d know that!
Later that day, at the shelter…
Cynthia (shelter volunteer): Hello and welcome to the Claiborne Pell Animal Shelter here in Narragansett Bay! I’m Cynthia, the head volunteer. We really appreciate having you here, Governor Raymond.
Gretchen: It’s a pleasure. We love animals, anything we can do to help, we will.
Cynthia: Let me quickly explain what you’re going to be doing today. First, put on these volunteer badges and write your name on it. This will identify you as a volunteer so that you’re allowed in the cages with the animals and so visitors know to ask you for help.
Gretchen: With all due respect, I don’t know if I need the name tag. I mean, I am…
Cynthia: We do require it for everyone, even celebrities. Just in case someone doesn’t know who they are.
Christina: Oooh… burn, mom!
Gretchen: All I heard was that I’m a celebrity.
Cynthia: We have out cats in one wing and our dogs in another. We usually require our volunteers to be experienced to deal with signing out pets to visitors to walk on the grounds or take in a visiting room, so you guys won’t have to worry about that. You’ll just be cleaning out their cages, feeding them and walking them. The food is in this room, and there’s leashes in the closet. All large dogs are given a cup of food, small dogs get a half cup. Cats get a quarter cup. Now, just sign these waivers and we’ll get started.
Susana: What are the waivers for?
Cynthia: It just says that if you damage anything, you will be financially liable. Give it a read.
Susana: Alright, will do.
Gretchen: Just sign it, Susana. No one reads these things.
Cynthia: So, everyone has signed their waivers? You can go ahead and get to work!
Christina: Toby and I are going with the cats. I have to show him something.
Gretchen: You go ahead. The rest of us will go with the dogs.
Toby: I want to go with you, mommy!
Gretchen: That’s nice, kiddo. Listen to your sister and don’t get into trouble!
Two hours later…
Christina: Toby…
Toby: What, Christina?
Christina: Do you notice the same thing I do?
Toby: No, what?
Christina: That cat is following us with its eyes.
Toby: I think most of them are watching us, they’re curious.
Christina: No, but this one is different. It clearly wants me to adopt it.
Toby: I want a dog!
Christina: Look at that face!
Toby: I want a pet I can run and play with.
Christina: Don’t do this to Butterscotch!
Toby: His name is Greg.
Christina: His name is Butterscotch!
Toby: The cage says…
Christina: Toby, you don’t get anywhere in life by following all the rules. You gotta break a few to get what you want sometimes.
Toby: I don’t think it’s a run you have to follow, you’re just not calling him by his name.
Christina: Butterscotch is meowing at us! Let’s get him out!
Toby: We’re supposed to be working.
Christina: Don’t you listen to grandma? I don’t work! Especially not when I’m in love!
Toby: I’m sorry for offending you. I clearly struck a nerve.
Christina: Don’t cry, stop. We can get back to work. Go grab some cat food, we’ll feed them. I just did the litter boxes so that’s all we have to do.
Toby: Okay, I’ll go get it!
Toby walks away to grab the cat food and returns a minute later.
Toby: Christina, why is Greg out of his cage?
Christina: Butterscotch wanted to explore.
Toby: He’s a cat, how would you know that?
Christina: Sometimes you just know things, okay?
Toby: Aren’t you the one that wanted to volunteer in the first place? Now you aren’t doing anything.
Christina: I’m letting an animal rescue me.
Toby: Alright, I’ll feed them all. I’m twelve but I’ll take the initiative.
Christina: Thank you!
Thirty minutes later…
Anthony: Kids, are you ready to go? We’ve got forty minutes home and we have to pick up cough syrup for grandma.
Christina: No, not yet?
Anthony: Well, why not? You’re just playing with the cats now.
Toby: She’s been doing that for a long time! I fed the cats!
Anthony: Good job, Toby! You were the one I was worried about.
Toby: Christina fell in love with a cat and named it Butterscotch.
Gretchen: When we say in love…
Christina: He is my new best friend and I need to adopt him.
Gretchen: I think you’ve both demonstrated a lot of responsibility today.
Christina: Does that mean…?
Gretchen: Yes. If you want Butterscotch, then let’s fill out the paperwork.
Toby: Mom! I want a dog.
Christina: Don’t blow this for me!
Anthony: Toby, we’re gonna get this cat for your sister. She’s not wavering, I know that.
Toby: Do something, mom!
Gretchen: I agree with your father.
Christina: Thank you mom! I love you!
Gretchen: I love you too.
Susana: I’m gonna get going then if you guys are going to be here for a while. Mom’s expecting me home soon.
Gretchen: Thanks for coming out with us. See you tomorrow!
Christina: Now can we adopt Butterscotch? I can’t wait another second!
Gretchen: Yes, let’s go do it.
Five days later…
Christina: I can’t believe we finally get Butterscotch today!
Anthony: It’s a big day for the whole family. We’ve never had a pet. Not even a fish!
Lucinda: Not big enough for Gretchen to come, apparently.
Anthony: She had to work today, give her a break. She is a governor.
Christina: Yeah, grandma. Don’t go after mom.
Toby: You can if you want. She made us get a cat instead of a dog.
Christina: Let it go, be glad we’re getting anything.
Toby: I am glad for a pet. I just really wanted a dog.
Lucinda: Think of it this way, Toby. You’ll never have to pick up the cat’s poop using only a bag. You have a pooper scooper!
Toby: We could have one for a dog, too.
Lucinda: Now that’s just weird.
Christina: Okay, so we have a place to set Butterscotch in the car, right?
Anthony: Yes, Christina.
Christina: We have the cat carrier?
Anthony: Yes, Christina.
Christina: Alright, I’ll go in and get him! See you soon with our sixth family member!
Christina goes into the animal shelter. Ten minutes later, she runs out with Butterscotch in the carrier.
Christina: Meet Butterscotch, grandma!
Lucinda sneezes multiple times.
Christina: I’m taking that as a hello to Butterscotch.
Lucinda: It’s a cat, why would I be saying hello to it?
Christina: He is a he, not an it! And he has a heart and soul, of course you should be saying hello!
Anthony: Excuse her. She’s heartless.
Lucinda: Better than being brainless.
Christina: This is a day of jot, please don’t fight! Just look at my little Butterscotch!
Two hours later, when Gretchen gets home…
Gretchen: Well hello everybody! How did it go? How’s Butterscotch?
Christina: He’s doing well. Something’s wrong with grandma, though.
Gretchen: Yes, and water is wet? What else is new?
Christina: I’m serious, mom.
Gretchen: So am I. Your grandmother has issues. We all know it.
Christina: Well, obviously. I need you to take this seriously. She’s been sneezing and coughing a lot and her eyes are watery and red and her nose is running.
Lucinda: Yeah, Gretchen. Listen to your daughter.
Gretchen: Ahh!!! I didn’t see you there.
Lucinda: I’m lying under the blanket because your idiot husband keeps it at like forty degrees in here.
Anthony: I do not. You’re just always cold.
Gretchen: Why is your head under the covers?
Lucinda: I’m sick of Christina studying my face to see what else is wrong with me.
Christina: I just care!
Lucinda: I’m not used to people caring about me so maybe that’s why I’m like this.
Gretchen: You act like I dropped you off in a home and never visit you. 
Anthony: That’s still an option in my book.
Lucinda: Quiet, Anthony. She’d pick me over you.
Gretchen: I’ll let you both believe you’re the ones I’d pick.
Christina: You know what that means… sorry, grandma.
Gretchen: Anyway, how are you personally feeling, mom?
Lucinda: Betrayed. Angry. Questioning whether Eddie is really my good one.
Gretchen: Physically. You just got over being sick, is it coming back?
Lucinda: It could be. I didn’t feel quite like this but maybe it’s that. Or maybe I got the flu because my luck is awful.
Gretchen: Well, I think we should wait a day or so to make sure you really need to go to the doctor.
Lucinda: Obviously. My generation doesn’t just go to the doctor for the sniffles.
Two days later, at the doctor’s office…
Dr. Patel (Lucinda’s doctor): So, I’ve looked over everything and you seem completely fine.
Lucinda: I feel fine right now!
Dr. Patel: You say your family recently got a pet?
Christina: Yes, we did. His name is Butterscotch! Grandma loves him.
Lucinda: He laid on my chest once or twice at night and we slept that way. That doesn’t mean I love him.
Dr. Patel: I think you have an allergy to cats. We can test you for it but the fact that you don’t have any symptoms now that you described on the phone tells me that it’s not a virus or anything. It’s all consistent with a pet allergy.
Christina: What does this mean?
Dr. Patel: There are medications you can take, mostly over-the-counter. Basically whatever you’d take for regular allergies. Many people don’t take them long-term, but it’s up to you. You certainly can take that route if you’re going to continue prolonged exposure to the cat.
Lucinda: We’re going to have to call your mother, Christina.
Christina: Yeah, we have to fill her in on everything. Let her know not to worry, you just need Benadryl or something.
Lucinda: No.
Christina: I don’t understand.
Lucinda: We’re going to have to find the cat a new home. I can’t live like this.
Christina: Grandma, come on! I finally find something to make me happy and this is how you respond?
Dr. Patel: This feels personal. I’m going to step out. You can check out whenever you’re ready at the reception desk.
Christina: Thank you.
Dr. Patel leaves, and Christina calls Gretchen.
Gretchen: Christina! How’d your grandmother’s appointment go?
Christina: Not well.
Gretchen: Is it finally happening? I better find a nice black dress. I looked horrible at dad’s funeral.
Christina: What?
Lucinda: Does she think I’m dying again? That bitch.
Gretchen: Oh, thank god she’s fine!
Lucinda: Phony!
Christina: Grandma has a cat allergy!
Gretchen: That’s so much better than the flu, at least.
Lucinda: Now you’re nice. I see you.
Christina: No it’s not! She wants to get rid of Butterscotch.
Gretchen: Honey, I know you love the cat but if it helps your grandmother, we may have to.
Christina: It’s not fair! I’ve waited decades for a pet and you’re taking him away just like that?
Gretchen: Your grandma’s health is more important, I’m sorry.
Lucinda: I did not just hear those words out of your mouth! Is this heaven?
Gretchen: We’ll talk about this later, Christina. I have to get back to work. It’s very busy today. Bye honey!
Christina: Bye, mom.
Gretchen hangs up.
Gretchen: Carol, advice, please.
Carol: What’s up?
Susana: How’s your mom? I heard she wasn’t doing well.
Gretchen: Yeah, you heard from me. She’s allergic to our new cat. I don’t know what to do.
Carol: Try medicine.
Gretchen: My mom doesn’t like taking medication.
Susana: Remember when we tried to get Aunt Sue to take medicine when she was staying with us after that boat crash?
Carol: That was horrible! When she bit me, I wanted to cry.
Susana: I’m just surprised you kept putting up with her after that.
Carol: Well, I couldn’t just throw her out on the street. She’s family, and none of our other relatives lived near us at that time.
Susana: That’s true. You’re a bigger person than I am.
Carol: Thank you, that means a lot!
Gretchen: Clearly you two aren't going to be of any help. I’m going to call Governor Lanford. Maybe I can get something done today.
Gretchen walks into her office and calls Connecticut Governor Nathan Lanford.
Nathan: Governor Raymond! I can’t believe you called me back!
Gretchen: Neither can I. How is Connecticut? How’s the family?
Nathan: Everyone’s great. My sister just got married in Rhode Island, actually! It was a beautiful service.
Gretchen: Nate, can I call you back? You just gave me an idea.
Nathan: Yeah, sure. Talk to you later, Gretchen.
Gretchen hangs up with Nathan and calls her sister Mary.
Mary: Gretchen! I’ve been up in Rhode Island full-time for a week now and you’re just now calling me?
Gretchen: I’m sorry, Mary. I’ve just been really busy. I have a big favor to ask you, though.
Mary: What is it, Gretchen? I just moved in, I’m busy, too.
Gretchen: So you love cats…
Mary: Oh my god, yes! Love ‘em! Patrick wouldn’t let me get one. He was a dick.
Gretchen: Would you be interested in adopting our cat? Mom’s allergic and we need to re-home him. His name’s Butterscotch.
Mary: So I get a cat and a reason for mom to not visit? Obviously, I’ll take the cat.
Gretchen: Wanna pick him up today?
Mary: Sure! I’m really not busy at all. I’m just binging this week’s episodes of The View.
Gretchen hangs up and runs from the desk, through her office.
Susana: Governor Raymond, big news!
Gretchen: I gotta go, I’m sorry!
Gretchen storms off.
Susana: I just wanted to tell her that signatures to the recall petition have stalled entirely. Guess she didn’t care.
Carol: Don’t worry, I care.
Susana: Thank you, mom. Now, what are we supposed to be doing with her gone?
Carol: I don’t know. I think we get to go home. It’s a day without seeing Samantha Pratt, let’s not take it for granted.
At Gretchen’s house…
Christina: Mom, what are you doing home so early?
Gretchen: I wanted to tell you that your Aunt Mary is coming to pick up Butterscotch. You’ll still get to see him whenever you want, and it won’t hurt grandma.
Lucinda: Thank god I get an excuse to not go to Mary’s!
Christina: I can’t believe Butterscotch is going to be gone today already. I thought I’d have at least a few days.
Gretchen: I know, sweetie. I just wanna get him to Mary so she doesn’t change her mind.
Christina: I’ll get his stuff together.
Anthony: No, I’ll do that. Spend time with him before he goes. You’ve earned that.
Christina: Thank you, dad.
Twenty minutes later…
Toby: Aunt Mary just pulled in!
Christina: Oh, Butterscotch. This is it.
Lucinda: I will miss the little guy. We can visit. I’ll suffer for ten minutes every week or so.
Christina: I knew you loved him.
Lucinda: Didn’t say that!
Mary: I have arrived! Where’s the kitty?
Christina: Here you go. He’s in his crate already. He’s a good boy like that.
Mary: This will give you a reason to come see me more, Christina. This will be good.
Christina: I know. Thank you for taking him for us. At least I know I’ll be able to see him and he’s in a good home.
Gretchen: Yes, thank you.
Mary: No big deal! I’m a hero!
Lucinda: Don’t get ahead of yourself.
Mary: I better get going, he shouldn’t be in this thing too long. I’ll come to visit you guys again soon. Or, like I said, come see about me. Just down the road, guys.
Christina: Bye Butterscotch!
Mary leaves with Butterscotch, while Anthony carries Butterscotch’s supplies out to Mary’s car.
Toby: I told you we shoulda got a dog.
Christina: Not now, Toby!

What did you think of this episode of Raymond Island? Let us know in the comments, vote in the poll below, and make sure to return for a new episode next week!

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