Raymond Island Season 1 Episode 6 - Bake It ’Til You Make It

Raymond Island Season 1, Episode 6
Bake It ’ Til You Make It

January 2020 - Gretchen is on the phone with Paul McVann, the president of MBC, one of the major broadcast networks.
Gretchen: Mr. McVann, thank you for taking my call!
Paul: It’s a pleasure, Governor Raymond. It’s not every day I get to speak to a governor.
Gretchen: You don’t know how wonderful it feels to hear someone call me “Governor Raymond.”
Paul: What else would they call you?
Gretchen: I don’t really wish to get into that right now…
Paul: Oh, okay. I’m actually curious what you’re calling me about.
Gretchen: I finally got around to watching your show Bake Your Heart Out this weekend with my family.
Paul: Ugh… that show.
Gretchen: I thought it was your top show? I always hear about it. They talk about every finale on The View! I always have to leave the room because I hate spoilers.
Paul: That show just takes up far too much of my time lately and isn’t rating like it used to so it’s just a bit frustrating to hear about it all the time. I see the creator of that show more than I see the creators of all my other shows combined.
Gretchen: Oh, I’m sorry. I seem to have struck a nerve.
Paul: No worries! Continue with what you were saying.
Gretchen: Alright. So, I’m binging the show and I get to the third season. I see they’re in New Orleans for a special episode. I remember my friend, the former Senator from Louisiana Marietta Landfield, talking about how excited she was for them to film in the city because it brought them a Lon of extra revenue and it’s also her mom’s favorite show. It gave me the idea. What if you filmed a season of Bake Your Heart Out in Rhode Island? We could use the extra revenue and publicity, and we can give you a big tax credit. I already spoke with Speaker Hank Matthews and Senate Majority Leader Jeanne Riverro about it and they both agreed, so all we need is for you to agree!
Paul: That’s a very nice proposition, Governor Raymond.
Gretchen: Thank you! Tell Rhode Island that!
Paul: I’ll have to think it over. Send me the plan in an email, I’ll look at it, and then I’ll get back to you. It’s definitely something to think about, I always appreciate affordable filming.
Gretchen: I hope to talk to you soon! Bye!
Paul: Bye, governor.
Gretchen hangs up.
Carol: What did he say?
Gretchen: He’ll think about it!
Carol: Wow! Good for you! We do need a win, your approval rating just went under forty percent.
Gretchen: It did? Why does it keep dropping?
Carol: Your SOTU response wasn’t particularly well-received. I think because you were responding to President Howard, who is in the same party as you.
Gretchen: Surely that’s not it.
Carol: Big Gretch…
Gretchen: We don’t talk about the SNL sketch.
Carol: Anyway, it’s good to see a win for us.
Susana: I just wanted to let you all know that LG Pratt is on her way in!
Gretchen: Lock the doors. Turn off the lights!
Susana: She saw me getting coffee, she knows we’re in here.
Samantha: Are you talking about me? There’s nothing to be afraid of!
Gretchen: Samantha, what do you want on this fine morning?
Samantha: Oh, nothing much. Just wanted to see how you’re doing after… you know.
Gretchen: That was a week ago, I messed up but I’m fine.
Samantha: Sure. You trashed our president’s State of the Union, got blasted by just about everyone for it, and got a whole SNL sketch about you and you have nothing to say about it?
Gretchen: No, unlike you, I don’t dwell on things. I’m moving on to fun new initiatives. I’m a governor, I actually have responsibilities.
Samantha: No need to get testy. I’ll get going if you want to. I don’t seem welcome here anyway.
Susana: Here’s the door!
That night, during Gretchen’s family dinner…
Gretchen: You guys will never believe what happened today!
Lucinda: Someone complimented you?
Anthony: That’s not needed.
Lucinda: I stand by it.
Gretchen: Do you guys remember that project I told you I was working on?
Anthony: I can’t say that I do.
Christina: Mom, did you mention it during The Bachelor? No one was listening.
Gretchen: No, I mentioned it last night at dinner. I said I was talking to Hank and Jeanne about something interesting that I couldn’t tell you all about.
Lucinda: I remember.
Gretchen: What?
Anthony: Even I’m shocked. Lucinda listened to you! She was a good mother for at least a minute this week.
Lucinda: I'm always a great mother.
Gretchen: Eh. Anyway, I called the president of MBC today and gave him my proposal to film the new season of Bake your Heart Out in Rhode Island! This could be huge for the state and for me.
Lucinda: You really think this will help?
Christina: Yeah, mom. The show sucks now. Sam and Diane are gone and it’s no fun without them. Frances looks like she wants to kill DeAnna and that Pam lady is a stick in the mud.
Lucinda: What are those words she just said?
Christina: Everyone hates Bake Your Heart Out now since the old hosts left and they brought in two weirdos with no chemistry.
Gretchen: Apparently I made a huge mistake. What else is new?
Lucinda: Why am I not surprised?
Anthony: Don’t get so down on yourself, Gretchen. It would still bring revenue to the state, that’s good!
Gretchen: But I’ll be the one that invited a hated show into the state. They might even blame me for Sam and Diane leaving.
Christina: Don’t think that highly of yourself, mom.
Gretchen: Speaking of which, how do you know what the new season is like? You said you were watching it for the first time when we binged it this weekend!
Christina: The premiere aired after the Super Bowl! Some of us don’t go to bed before the fourth quarter!
Gretchen: I have to work! I’m the Governor of Rhode Island for Christ’s sake! Nothing in this state gets done without me!
Lucinda: Now I know that’s not true!
Anthony: Toby, go to your room.
Toby: What did I do?
Anthony: Nothing, that’s why I want you to go. Save yourself.
Toby: Alright, I’m going.
Gretchen: Listen, I thought I was doing a great thing for this state and now you’re telling me information that I don’t enjoy so I’m a bit tense.
Lucinda: Why didn’t you do your research first?
Gretchen: I didn’t want spoilers for my new favorite show!
Christina: Don’t worry about it, mom. The new Bake Your Heart Out is not that unpopular. You could’ve invited them to do a new Jersey Shore show here.
Anthony: Toby, you can come out now!
Toby: Okay, I’ll be out after finish my drawing!
Lucinda: Jersey Shore? What’s that?
Gretchen: It’s a show about people that clearly didn’t go to college that have terrible tans.
Lucinda: What good is college if they turn out like you?
Anthony: Toby, forget it. Stay in your room!
One week later…
Carol: Gretchen! You’re so late!
Susana: I had a panic attack over it. You’re never late. You don’t get enough credit for that!
Carol: It was a busy day!
Gretchen: It’s eight-thirty. I’m a half-hour late.
Carol: I know… the phone’s been ringing all day!
Gretchen: What for?
Carol: First, Governor-Elect Bassar of Kentucky wanted you to be at his inauguration next week.
Gretchen: Okay, I’ll call him up and let him know I’ll be there. I did help him win, you know.
Carol: Yes, we know. You’re the chair of the Democratic Governors Association. You’re why we have Democratic Governors of Kentucky and Louisiana.
Gretchen: I am pretty great, ain’t I?
Carol: Governor Lanford of Connecticut called as well.
Gretchen: And he wanted?
Carol: I don’t know. I was out of the room and he didn’t leave a message besides “call me back.” Probably something about buses or wanting to complain about Governor Cramer or some crap.
Gretchen: Wonderful. So I have to talk to Nate now.
Carol: It’s a small sacrifice to keep him from calling again and again and again. As he often does.
Gretchen: Who else called?
Carol: Governor Morgan of South Dakota.
Gretchen: What did she want?
Carol: Something about the DGA.
Gretchen: She is the Vice Chair but my term is not over until August so she needs to slow her roll.
Carol: Also, Paul McVann called.
Gretchen: You really buried the lede there! I sure as hell hope he isn’t taking my offer.
Carol: What? Why?
Susana: Did you find out?
Carol: Find out what?
Susana: She found out that Sam and Diane left Bake Your Heart Out and now it sucks and everyone hates it.
Gretchen: You knew too? Why didn’t you tell me?
Susana: I tried to tell you it might not work out like you thought it would, but I didn’t want to spoil it for you.
Gretchen: I wish you would’ve. I would’ve just minded my own business.
Carol: It’s done now, Gretchen. Call him back!
Gretchen: I will. Wish me luck!
Gretchen walks to her desk, calls Paul, and closes the door behind her.
Gretchen: Mr. McVann, hi!
Paul: Call me Paul, Governor Raymond.
Gretchen: You can call me Gretchen then.
Paul: That feels a little too casual, you’re a governor!
Gretchen: It’s Rhode Island, don’t pretend you’re impressed by that.
Paul: Oh no, Rhode Island is beautiful! In fact…
Gretchen: Oh boy, here it is.
Paul: Yeah, I talked it over with the staff of the show, and I looked over the financials, and I’m happy to say that we’ll be moving production of Bake Your Heart Out to Rhode Island for season 7!
Gretchen: Yay…
Paul: Don’t tell anyone this next part, please.
Gretchen: Okay.
Paul: All of the original stars of the show will be back next season.
Gretchen: Oh my god!!!
Susana: Are you okay in there?
Gretchen: Yes, I’m fine! Sorry Paul, my assistant worries far too much about me.
Paul: This truly is top-secret information. Only you, my lawyers, and the staff of the show know about this. Don’t tell anyone.
Gretchen: Anyone? Not even my family or my staff?
Paul: Not even them.
Gretchen: Alright. Now, could you do me a favor?
Paul: I’ll sure try to. What is it?
Gretchen: When you do eventually announce that they’re coming back, make sure to mention how excited they were at the prospect of filming here in Rhode Island.
Paul: Okay, sure.
Gretchen: Also, if at all possible, I would really appreciate a guest role on the show. Just to pop in and get some recognition on there.
Paul: I think I can make that work.
That night, during dinner at Gretchen’s…
Gretchen: Big news everyone!
Christina: You said that last night too and it was just that you were naming a highway after some old guy.
Gretchen: Seth MacFarlane is not old.
Anthony: You named a highway after Seth MacFarlane? How don’t I remember that?
Lucinda: maybe because your memory sucks.
Gretchen: He has done more for this state in terms of giving it recognition than anyone else. But, that might change now.
Christina: Who did you do now?
Lucinda: Are you gonna wind up on SNL again?
Gretchen: Bake Your Heart Out is officially coming to Rhode Island!
Christina: Mom, we told you last week that that's not really a big deal.
Gretchen: Trust me, this time it’s different! Things have changed.
Christina: What, did you get Sam and Diane to come back?
Anthony: Oh, that would be incredible!
Gretchen: No, don’t be silly guys! It’s not that.
Christina: Then there’s nothing to see, is there? I’m sorry mom but Rhode Islanders aren’t gonna care about some former hit coming to film here.
Gretchen: You’ll see, I promise!
Present Day
Carol: Gretchen! Oh my god! Did you know about this?
Gretchen: What did I do now?
Susana: Look!
Gretchen: Oh! They announced it today!
Susana: You knew Sam and Diane were coming back to Bake Your Heart Out?
Gretchen: Maybe…
Carol: You didn’t tell us?
Gretchen: I couldn’t. Paul didn’t want it to get out. I’m kind of shocked it took so long to announce it. And that no one else leaked it. I know I almost did.
Carol: Gretchen, this is going to be huge for us. They said they were coming back because they liked the idea of filming in Rhode Island.
Gretchen (smirking): Guess what…
Carol: No!
Gretchen: Yes! That was my idea!
Carol: I don’t want to get your hopes up or anything, because you do currently have a twenty-six percent approval rating -
Gretchen: Let’s not.
Carol: I think this might help you not get recalled.
Gretchen: You really think so?
Samantha: No. She is beyond saving.
Gretchen: Ugh… I was having such a good day.
Samantha: Nice to see you too!
Susana: What do you want woman?
Gretchen: This is the angriest I have ever seen Susana, Samantha. You should leave.
Samantha: I just wanted to congratulate you on the new puff piece the media put out about you getting Bake Your Heart Out to film here and how you saved the show. The afterglow should last for a week or two.
Carol: Do you need to spread negativity all the time?
Gretchen: I remember when we worked well together.
Samantha: Being in the resistance is much more fun.
Susana: It is. That’s why I’m resisting you being here anymore. Goodbye!
Samantha: You could be a bit more tolerant, you know.
Susana: And you could be a bit more not-a-jackass, you know.
Samantha: Fine, I’m going!
Susana: Finally. I thought she’d never leave. Now let’s celebrate!
That night, at Gretchen’s…
Anthony: Where were you, Gretchen? I couldn’t wait for you to get home!
Gretchen: I was out with the girls, celebrating.
Christina: The big news?
Gretchen: The big news!
Christina: How did this happen, mom? And how didn’t you tell us?
Gretchen: I was as surprised as you. Just, I was surprised five months ago when Paul McVann told me.
Lucinda: I’m saying this too much, but I’m proud of you, Gretchen.
Gretchen: I feel like I’m gonna faint.
Two days later, in Gretchen’s office…
Carol: Gretchen!!! You did it! You did it!
Gretchen: What did I do? Get recalled?
Carol: No! You finally did that thing you wanted to do since you were elected!
Gretchen: I think I’d know if I was elected President.
Carol: No! Your approval rating! It’s really good!
Susan: Just spit it out, mom!
Gretchen: Yeah, spit it out, Carol.
Carol: It’s above fifty percent for the first time ever!
Gretchen: Are you reading it wrong? You mean that disapprove is about fifty percent, surely.
Carol: No! The Bake Your Heart Out move saved your poll numbers. You’re at a fifty-two percent approval rating!
Gretchen: Maybe what Samantha said is true, but for now, I’m gonna be happy with that.
Susana: Mom was right! This might save you from being recalled!
Carol: I think it already did.
Gretchen: Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves.

What did you think of this episode of Raymond Island? Let us know in the comments, vote in the poll below, and make sure to return for a new episode next week!

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