Bake Your Heart Out Season 2 Episode 4 - Governor Raymond

Bake Your Heart Out Season 2, Episode 4
Governor Raymond

On the morning that Bake Your Heart Out starts filming…
Leslie: Frances… come on.
Frances: What do you want, Leslie? I’m awake. I’m fine.
Leslie: You’re in slow motion today. You’re barely able to lift your tea mug to your mouth.
Frances: I was up too late last night, I’m okay.
Leslie: It’s our first day back to filming, you don’t want to be late.
Frances: When have you ever known me to be late? I’m not Sam. Or Garry. Or Diane.
Leslie: That’s a good point. I just like to be early and I don’t want anyone to mess that up.
Frances: Don’t worry. We’ll be there on time.
Leslie: Okay, okay. I’m stressed out about the first day of filming in a new location, especially since the governor is dropping in, but you’re going to calm me.
Frances: Oh my god.
Leslie: What? Does my hair look bad?
Frances: No, you look great! We’re just… we’re turning into Sam and Diane.
Leslie: No, don’t you dare! When someone accuses us of being long-term lesbian life partners because we’re never not together, then we’re Sam and Diane. People just see us as two friends.
Frances: Who live together.
Leslie: I understand your concern.
Frances: I mean, I certainly appreciate the company but we’re definitely becoming them.
Diane: Frances! Leslie! Are you in there?
Frances: Good god no.
Diane: I hear you in there! Open up.
Frances opens the door.
Frances: Hello Diane!
Diane: Do you guys want to go get breakfast with Sam and me? We thought it would be nice to grab a bite to eat before the big day.
Frances: Umm… Leslie?
Leslie: Sure!
Diane: I guess one benefit of being in this state is that we’ll get to actually see each other more.
Leslie: Well, I don’t know if that’s a benefit.
Diane: What’s that supposed to mean?
Frances: Leslie won’t even tell us what her address is. I don’t think she appreciates this quite as much as we do.
Diane: Oh, Leslie. Don’t be a downer. You sound like Sam.
Leslie: Where is Sam by the way?
Sam: Right here, short stuff.
Leslie: You know, just because the three of you are all freakin’ giants doesn’t mean I’m one of Snow White’s seven dwarves.
Sam: No, but, you are.
Leslie: Where’s Garry when you need him? He’s even shorter than me comparatively. I’m only slightly shorter than the average woman, he’s much shorter than the average man.
Garry: That’s not true. I’m only two inches shorter than average, you’re five inches shorter.
Leslie: Good gosh, how are you all creeping out of the woodwork?
Garry: I have to be quiet, Carly is still sleeping.
Frances: Garry, we’re at a resort. The walls are soundproof.
Garry: I don’t know if they are, I didn’t design it.
Frances: Garry… think. With your brain.
Diane: Can we just get going? It’s going to be a long day.
Garry: Can I hitch a ride with one of you? I want to leave the car here for Carly to use.
Sam: Not it!
Frances: You can come with Leslie and me, Garry. We’re not monsters.
Leslie: I have to finish getting ready. I’ll be out in five minutes. Then we have to hurry.
Charlotte: Did you guys forget about me again?
Diane: Charlotte! I was coming to ask you next.
Charlotte: Were you really?
Sam: No, of course not, Queen Elizabeth. We’re always forgetting about you.
Charlotte: So which is it? Do I talk too much about England or do you guys?
Diane: It’s your voice dear, Sam is a very hateful person and she looks for any small thing to make fun of people for. For you, it’s the fact that you speak, uh, the Queen’s English.
Sam: It’s true!
Charlotte: I understand. I guess I’m due a hazing. I’m the new one, after all.
Leslie: I love our conversations but I still have to curl my hair so I gotta go. I’ll be ready in a minute.
Sam: We know!
Leslie: Remember who you’re talking to. I can fire you at any moment.
Sam: If you want to lose your fancy mansion, that is.
Garry: Oh boy, the girls are fighting!
90 minutes later, at the studio…
Leslie: My goodness, look what they’ve done with the place!
Sam: Leslie, I don’t think this is the same place.
Leslie: I know that, it’s a figure of speech.
Diane: A misplaced one.
Leslie: Look at the set! It’s a beautiful New England cottage! Lobster traps hanging from the ceiling, hydrangeas in the window, a view of the green-screened ocean. It’s beautiful.
Frances: It really is beautiful.
Sam: Not as beautiful as my dressing room, which I love! It’s even better than the last one.
Diane: I raised two kids in a house that was smaller than Sam’ s new dressing room.
Garry: How come I didn’t get a huge dressing room.
Sam: Look in the mirror.
Garry: I had that one coming.
Leslie: I’m getting a phone call. I’ll be right back.
Leslie steps away and answers the call.
Leslie: Hello! What’s up?
Paul: I just wanted to wish you luck on your first day of filming. It’s strange to not be there in person. I tried, you know I did. The missus wanted to take a trip to Napa next week and I had to reschedule my meetings for then to this week to make that happen.
Leslie: It’s fine. I know you’re wishing us luck, that’s what matters.
Paul: I’m glad to hear that. Give the whole crew my best wishes.
Leslie: Is that all you called for? I’m a little surprised, it’s unlike you to show such kindness.
Paul: I’m trying to be better, Leslie. My rudeness almost lost me my job.
Leslie: How so?
Paul: If I couldn’t get those hosts of yours to come back, ratings for your show would be so in the toilet that I’d probably get canned. It’s just business. I’m in counseling now for my attitude.
Leslie: That is… unbelievable, actually. I’m impressed.
Paul: You are right, though. This isn’t the only reason I was calling.
Leslie: I am always right, no surprise there.
Paul: Governor Raymond’s assistant Susana called me.
Leslie: Susana? Does she happen to be the lead singer of The Bangles?
Paul: No, the assistant’s name isn’t my reason for calling. Governor Raymond is running early. She’ll be there in about twenty minutes.
Leslie: Thanks for the information. I’ll talk to you later.
Paul: Bye Leslie!
Leslie hangs up and rushes over to the cast after making another call.
Leslie: Big news! Governor Raymond is coming!
Diane: Yeah, we knew that already.
Frances: Trust me, I’ve been dreading having a fourth judge all week. It’s disturbing and inhuman. I barely accept three.
Charlotte: Hey! I thought you of all people were my friend!
Frances: Oh Charlotte. I didn’t mean you.
Sam: We know you mean Charlotte, you’re in love with Garry.
Garry: Frances and I are not in love! I’m in love with my with and Frances is in love with herself.
Frances: It’s true.
Leslie: Governor Raymond is coming right now.
Diane: Oh… noooooo.
Leslie: Yes. She’ll be here in twenty minutes. I already called up the producers at the contestants’ hotel to tell them to get them here ASAP. I just want to make sure you guys get ready. Thankfully Diane had the idea to move our stuff into our dressing rooms last night. So, go get ready because you want to look presentable in front of Gretchen Raymond.
Frances: Who is that?
Leslie: The governor, Frances!
Frances: Oh. I get so confused.
Diane: It’s hard, focusing so much on yourself. You can’t let thoughts of anyone else enter your brain.
Frances: You would know.
Leslie: Just be on your best behavior, guys. The governor will be with us for two days, that’s not a long time to ask you to be respectful.
Twenty minutes later…
Gretchen: Hello, I’m Gretchen Raymond, the 77th Governor of Rhode Island. I’m so honored to be here on the set of America’s favorite show.
Leslie: Governor Raymond! Welcome to our set! The bakers aren’t here yet and the cast is getting ready since you’re early, but you can go get miked up so you’re ready for the show.
Gretchen: Sounds great! I’ll see you in a few.
Brian (production assistant): Leslie, the bakers have arrived.  
Leslie: They have? That was quick.
Brian: Shall I bring them in?
Leslie: Sure. Surely they can’t take that long to get ready.
Twenty minutes later…
Frances: I have arrived!
Charlotte: We’ve been waiting for you, Frances. Did you fall in the loo?
Frances: Of course not, you would’ve heard me screaming if I did. My hair wasn’t cooperating. My stylist was shocked by how messed up it was.
Diane: You have a stylist? Since when? Sam and I do but that’s just because we’re glorious. You used to just take whatever hair and makeup person you could find to whip your hair into shape.
Frances: That was before I became the star of this show. I was pampered in that last season when you three weren’t around.
Charlotte: Technically yes, but I was certainly one of the big stars as well.
Frances: Yes, whatever you say.
Gretchen: Hi there everyone! I just wanted to say hello and welcome you to Rhode Island! I’m a huge fan of all five of you.
Sam: I assume you mean me, Diane, Frances, Charlotte and Leslie. No one’s a fan of Garry.
Gretchen: I love Garry!
Sam: You probably relate to him because you had like a twenty percent approval rating at one time and so did Garry.
Garry: I appreciate the kind words, Madam Governor. Welcome to our set.
Diane: Yes! Welcome to our set. We love when guests stop by. Well, most of us do.
Frances: I love it, too. That’s what gave us Charlotte!
Charlotte: Aww, that’s sweet. I remember when you schemed to keep me from being on the show! You've come so far!
Gretchen: Oh, I hope there was no scheming about me. Don’t worry, I’m not joining the show like Charlotte did.
Leslie: With those introductions, I think it’s time to start the show! Governor, you’ll be judging the show with Garry and Frances. Just follow their lead. They’ll let you know when to come into the baking cabin and do their walkthrough.
Gretchen: Alright, sounds great!
In the baking cabin, as filming begins on the new season…
Sam: Hello and welcome to the all-new season of Bake Your Heart Out!
Diane: There’ve been a few changes since the last time you tuned in.
Sam: First, we’re back! I know we made about five emotional speeches explaining that we were leaving a few seasons back, but we just missed it too much!
Diane: We also took a different approach to filming! Usually, we’d film in sunny, hot, humid California, which is the place we call home.
Sam: Now, we’re hitting up Rhode Island, for a nice change of scenery. Get ready for loads of New England references this season. It’s going to be to our Maine source of jokes this season. Get it?
Diane: So, welcome back! It’s gonna be a fun ride. Now let’s meet our bakers!
Sam: We’ll be introducing them in alphabetical order because conspiracy theorists like to say that the first to be introduced is always “cursed.”
Diane: Not this season!
Sam: Well, probably not. You never know. Never doubt a curse.
Diane: First up is Adam!
Sam: He’s a marketing analyst from Chicago, Illinois, where he lives with his wife who is sadly not named Eve.
Diane: Alec, our next baker, is a teacher’s assistant from Oklahoma City.
Sam: Well, OK with me!
Diane: Wow, postal code jokes!
Sam: Yeah, we’re not cool. Kinda hard to believe we’re the highest-paid personalities on TV!
Diane: We’re relatable, that’s why.
Sam: Speaking of relatable, Clara is a grocery clerk from Portland, Maine.
Diane: And no, she is not the aunt from Bewitched!
Sam: Good lord, we’re old. No one’s gonna get that.
Diane: Edgar is a bus driver from Philadelphia!
Sam: Let freedom ring! Get, it, ‘cause of the Liberty Bell?
Diane: It can’t really ring, though. Their bell has a crack in it.
Sam: Don’t be a nerd.
Diane: How dare you call me exactly what I am?
Sam: Next up is Ella! She’s a stay-at-home mother from Cleveland who is not, unfortunately, Ella Fitzgerald.
Diane: Lady does not sing the blueberries!
Sam: That was a Billie Holiday song.
Diane: It was? My brain must be failing me.
Sam: Wouldn’t be the first time!
Diane: Oh, by gosh, by golly, it’s time for mistletoe and Holly! Holly is a musician from Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
Sam: They have music there.
Diane: Apparently!
Sam: Julianna is a comedian from Los Angeles.
Diane: Oh, don’t know anyone like that!
Sam: No, certainly not. Never met anyone like that. Can not relate.
Diane: Mark is a veterinarian from Marietta, Georgia.
Sam: Marietta, that’s a pretty name.
Diane: I think I had a dog named Marietta when I was a kid.
Sam: Patty Lynn is a retired city councilor from New Orleans.
Diane: Her daughter is also named Marietta, and she is the mayor of New Orleans.
Sam: Wow, congrats on being able to use Wikipedia!
Diane: Paul is a paramedic from Phoenix!
Sam: Paul, what a peculiar name.
Diane: I’ve never met anyone named Paul before.
Sam: Rita is a secretary from Isabella, Puerto Rico, my heart’s devotion!
Diane: Don’t start singing, Sam. We have to pay for those rights.
Sam: Oh, sorry! I just like to be in America!
Diane: And finally, Sandra is a retired attorney from Hyannis.
Sam: I wonder if she dances in the streets a lot.
Diane: Huh? Why would she?
Sam: It’s a lyric from a Boston song. We are in New England, you know. Gotta brush up on your terminology!
Diane: Anyway… that was a marathon! We’ll be right back with the first bake of the season!
Two hours later…
Leslie: Okay, judges to the stage, please!
Gretchen: Should I follow you guys?
Leslie: Yes, follow Frances and Charlotte and Garry’s lead. You’ll sit at the judges’ table and the bakers will bring you their creations.
Gretchen: Thank you!
Frances: I still can’t believe we have four judges this week, it’s unnatural.
Gretchen: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.
Frances: No, not you, Governor. You actually have a reason to be here. Garry, I mean…
Garry: Stop!
Frances: I’m just pulling your leg.
Garry: And I’m sick of it!
Charlotte: Break it up, you two.
Diane: Yeah, we all know you’re just in love with each other.
Garry: Don’t start that crap again!
Leslie: Get to the stage. Now.
Garry: Okay chief. Will do!
On the stage…
Diane: Welcome back to Bake Your Heart Out! Our bakers have worked hard on their bakes for the first round, making a cookie to represent New England and one for their hometown.
Sam: Mark, you’re up first! Bring your cookies to present to our judges, including our special guest judge, Governor Gretchen Raymond!
Diane: Judges?
Sam: Frances? Charlotte?
Leslie: Cut! What the hell is going on? Oh, sorry god, I didn’t mean to curse. But really, what is going on?
Sam: This is unprofessional. And that’s coming from me, the bitchiest person alive.
Diane: True that!
Garry: Frances got annoyed and stormed off and Charlotte went after her.
Leslie: She stormed off? The governor is sitting right over there and she just stormed off?
Frances: I’m here. I just had a moment.
Diane: A moment long enough to keep us from continuing filming.
Leslie: Now we have to start all over. Paul is already complaining about the budget, it’s coming out of your salary if he says something.
Charlotte: I apologize for my part in it, Leslie.
Leslie: Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. You’re not the one acting like a child. You tried to calm her down. Now, back to work, let’s at least finish filming the first round before we wrap up this first day back in hell. Sorry again, God. You know I’m angry!
That night, at the hotel…
Frances: You know, Leslie, I think you overreacted today.
Leslie: I did not. You made a fool out of us all in front of Governor Raymond.
Frances: Oh, Governor Raymond my butt! You don’t really care that much about what people think of you, do you?
Leslie: When it’s the woman helping pay for my show, yeah. I do. I also don’t appreciate that you and Garry both managed to ruin what should’ve been a joyous day. The gang got back together. I didn’t think that would happen and it did and you ruined it.
Frances: Come on, it’s no big deal. It was just a little fight.
Leslie: Why’d you storm off, then?
Frances: You treated me like a child. I don’t appreciate it.
Leslie: Stop acting like one. Just don’t make fun of Garry so much, people have really been beating him up lately and it’s not right. 
Frances: Sam always does it!
Leslie: That’s different. You’re usually nice. I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately.
Frances: I’m just a little cranky. That’s all.
Leslie: Well, that solves it. You explained it to me now! Seriously, please have a better attitude. I’m going to bed.
Frances: It’s only eight o’clock.
Leslie: I just want to be left alone. That’s all.
Frances: Fine. Goodnight. You go to bed before America’s Got Talent even ends.
Leslie: I will. Night-night!
The next day, at the studio…
Leslie: Okay everybody! Big day! Wrapping filming on episode one! Our last day with Governor Raymond! Let’s be on our best behaviors.
Frances: Leslie, I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t talk to me this morning, or at breakfast, and you rode with Garry and the girls so you could avoid me, but I want you to know I’m sorry.
Leslie: It’s okay. Just apologize to Garry, too.
Garry: She already did. I appreciated it.
Leslie: Then it’s all good! Let’s dedicate ourselves to a great day of filming!
Six hours later…
Sam: It’s time, Diane…
Diane: Oh boy. It’s been a while since I’ve done this. I’m a bit rusty.
Sam: Don’t worry, I’ll start. Alec, Julianna, Sandra, Mark, Edgar. You are all safe. None of you rose to the top like yeast, but you didn’t crumble either.
Diane: Holly and Adam, you both stood out with incredible desserts that screamed New England. You are safe.
Sam: Clara, you had a bit of an unfair advantage being from New England yourself. However, you perfectly used that advantage and created a standout cranberry crumb bar. You’re the Top Baker this week!
Clara: Thank you! I’m a little emotional, I’m not gonna lie.
Sam: And now for some news that isn’t so happy.
Diane: Rita, the judges didn’t quite “get” your Boston Cream Pie with a touch of Puerto Rico. However, the flavors were there. You’re safe.
Sam: Paul, your dessert somewhat lacked in flavor but you were strong in the week’s other challenges. You’re safe.
Diane: Ella, Patty Lynn, this is the toughest part of the night. Can I not do it?
Sam: No, you have to.
Diane: If I must. You two had the weakest dishes of the night. Both of you had multiple things go a bit wrong for you this time.
Sam: You’re both great bakers, but this has to be the end of the line for one of you.
Diane: The baker going home today is… must I, really?
Sam: Yes. I’m not doing it. I refuse to crush someone’s dreams.
Diane: Oh, so make me do it. I see how it is.
Sam: Yes, that’s exactly how it is.
Diane: Our first eliminated baker this season is… Patty Lynn. I’m so sorry.
Patty Lynn: Oh man. My sister-in-law is going to make fun of me so much. She said she should’ve been here. Tammy’s gonna be upset, too. That’s Tammy Yarborough, the former First Lady.
Sam: I didn't know we had a friend of the former First Lady on our set! Sorry to see you go.
Diane: That’s a wrap for the premiere of Bake Your Heart Out! Tune in next week for a special episode centering on a viral trend!
Sam: That’s right, we’re cool!
Patty Lynn: You know, Gretchen, I really can’t believe you let them send me home! Marietta is your friend! You were at my grandson’s wedding!
Sam: That’s lovely, Patty Lynn. Wave goodnight!
Gretchen: I’m sorry! I had to be unbiased!
Diane: Leslie, what is happening?
Sam: Good night, America!
Leslie: Cut!
Patty Lynn: I’m sorry I’m such a mess you guys, this is just my dream and I’m so sad.
Charlotte: Oh sweetie, come here. Give me a hug!
Patty Lynn: Thank you, you’re so nice. I never thought you would be so sweet.
Charlotte: It’s the accent. It makes me seem mean when I’m not.
Leslie: Group meeting, please!
Charlotte: I gotta go, Patty Lynn. Lovely meeting you!
Leslie: Guys, that was great. You even managed to manage whatever that was very well. Very nice finish to filming!
Gretchen: I’m gonna get going, you guys!
Susana: Governor Raymond has a busy day back in Providence. Lots of calls to make and such. It was fun, though!
Gretchen: Yeah, what she said. A real pleasure to be here!
Leslie: You were lovely, thanks for stopping by and dealing with our crazy!
Gretchen: This is still a much less hostile workplace than I’m used to, don’t you worry!
Leslie: As I was saying. I’m proud you guys managed to turn things around. I was so worried.
Frances: I know, trust me.
Sam: Why would you ever doubt us? We’re amazing!
Leslie: Yeah, we are, aren’t we? I’m glad the family’s back together!
Frances: I even love our new member.
Charlotte: She left, you should’ve told her that to her face.
Frances: Not her, you, silly!
Garry: Aww, I love this family too. Even when you’re mean to me. I really do.
Diane: Yeah, we love you, too. It’s all in good fun.
Leslie: Nine more of these, guys! Gonna be a good summer, I think.

What did you think of this episode of Bake Your Heart Out? Let us know in the comments and make sure to return next week for another all-new episode!

Share this

Related Posts

Next Post »