MANNY
Is it me or is this one of the most boring games they’ve ever played.
LORENZO
Right? They’ve barely even scored any goals.
ACE
It’ll be over soon enough, what inning is it, like the 8th?
ROBERT
3rd.
BRYAN starts to sniff.
BRYAN
Hey Harry.
HARRY
Hey.
BRYAN
Shouldn’t you be by the grill right now?
HARRY
Why, not like anything’s cooking.
BRYAN
Pretty sure I asked for a burger a while back and I smell something burning right now.
HARRY
You’ll get your burger when you get your burger and that burning smell is not coming from my grill.
ACE
Kind of smells like it is.
HARRY
Aren’t you gonna do something about it then?
ACE
It’s your job!
MANNY
Guys! There is a fire at the grill right now, can somebody PLEASE put it out?!
HARRY
Why don’t you do it?!
MANNY
I’m just the bullpen coach, it’s my job to delegate power!
LORENZO
I hope the fire alarm doesn’t go off!
ROBERT
Lorenzo, we’re outside. There is no fire alarm to go off.
A fire alarm goes off in the background.
LORENZO
Hear that?
ROBERT
You know what? I think I do.
MANNY
Everybody run!!!
VICTOR
What?! Don’t you guys know how to put out a fire?!
ACE
Obviously not or it would be long gone by now and the stadium would not be getting evacuated as we speak!
HARRY
Come on, let’s get out of here before everyone knows we’re the reason for the fire!
ROBERT
Actually you’re the reason for the fire, people can very clearly see it’s coming from the bullpen, and I’m more concerned about getting engulfed in flames right now than getting blamed for a fire!
VICTOR
Help me out here, where’s your fire extinguisher?
LORENZO
Our what?!
VICTOR
The thing you use to put out fires!
A group of firefighters arrive.
FIREFIGHTER #1
Are you guys idiots—
LORENZO
Yes.
FIREFIGHTER #2
Please leave the premises.
LORENZO
Understood!
ROBERT
We’re great at that.
BRYAN
Do you think we’ll have a bullpen to come back to?
FIREFIGHTER #3
We’ll try our best, but it looks to me like your bench light overheated too. You’re lucky nobody got hurt. Now leave!!
Everyone leaves.