The Bullpen Season 5 Episode 9: Fire

ROBERT, ACE, LORENZO, BRYAN, VICTOR, MANNY, and HARRY are all sitting in the Indianapolis Primitives bullpen. For once, they are all watching the game. 


MANNY

Is it me or is this one of the most boring games they’ve ever played. 


LORENZO

Right? They’ve barely even scored any goals. 


ACE

It’ll be over soon enough, what inning is it, like the 8th? 


ROBERT

3rd. 


BRYAN starts to sniff. 


BRYAN

Hey Harry. 


HARRY

Hey. 


BRYAN

Shouldn’t you be by the grill right now?


HARRY

Why, not like anything’s cooking. 


BRYAN

Pretty sure I asked for a burger a while back and I smell something burning right now. 


HARRY

You’ll get your burger when you get your burger and that burning smell is not coming from my grill. 


ACE

Kind of smells like it is. 


HARRY

Aren’t you gonna do something about it then? 


ACE

It’s your job!


MANNY

Guys! There is a fire at the grill right now, can somebody PLEASE put it out?!


HARRY

Why don’t you do it?!


MANNY

I’m just the bullpen coach, it’s my job to delegate power!


LORENZO

I hope the fire alarm doesn’t go off!


ROBERT

Lorenzo, we’re outside. There is no fire alarm to go off. 


A fire alarm goes off in the background. 


LORENZO

Hear that?


ROBERT

You know what? I think I do. 


MANNY

Everybody run!!!


VICTOR

What?! Don’t you guys know how to put out a fire?!


ACE

Obviously not or it would be long gone by now and the stadium would not be getting evacuated as we speak!


HARRY

Come on, let’s get out of here before everyone knows we’re the reason for the fire!


ROBERT

Actually you’re the reason for the fire, people can very clearly see it’s coming from the bullpen, and I’m more concerned about getting engulfed in flames right now than getting blamed for a fire!


VICTOR

Help me out here, where’s your fire extinguisher? 


LORENZO

Our what?!


VICTOR

The thing you use to put out fires!


A group of firefighters arrive. 


FIREFIGHTER #1

Are you guys idiots—


LORENZO

Yes. 


FIREFIGHTER #2

Please leave the premises. 


LORENZO

Understood! 


ROBERT

We’re great at that. 


BRYAN

Do you think we’ll have a bullpen to come back to? 


FIREFIGHTER #3

We’ll try our best, but it looks to me like your bench light overheated too. You’re lucky nobody got hurt. Now leave!!


Everyone leaves. 


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