United States Democratic Party To Launch New Broadcast Network, Called DBC

After much work, the United States Democratic Party is set to launch a new broadcast television network. It is titled DBC, for Democrat Broadcast Channel. The network launch is an effort to demonstrate to the American public that they are the political party most connected with Americans’ wants and needs by providing them with quality entertainment ahead of the 2020 election. Better yet, every hour except for the first two hours of Friday are commercial-free due to generous donations from businessmen Tom Steyer and Mike Bloomberg.

Reportedly, the following shows have received series orders, with more potentially to follow. The TV Ratings Guide has also gained exclusive access to their projected Live + Same Day A18-49 ratings.

Delaney: Set in Iowa and based off of a true story, Delaney stars former Congressman John Delaney as himself, living in an apartment with his friends around him and working on his comedy routine, while he also runs for President. (Projected Rating: 7.1)

Joebama: A buddy comedy starring former Vice President Joe Biden as himself that details the days of two best friends spending time together. Casting has not been completed for Barack Obama. (Projected Rating: 7.5)

Nervous Nancy: A sitcom created solely to prove the Democratic establishment can work with the Republican Party, Nervous Nancy stars House Leader Nancy Pelosi as the titular character, who can’t get anything right. (Projected Rating: 0.2)

Young Sheldon: Not to be confused with the CBS program of the same name, Young Sheldon is based on the childhood of Senator Sheldon Whitehouse. (Projected Rating: 7.8)

A.O.C.: Congresswomen Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez stars as an undercover detective looking to revolutionize the government, with the help of a huge group of people who discovered her on social media. Future spinoffs such as A.O.C.: Detroit and A.O.C.: San Diego are also possibilities. (Projected Rating: 11.4)

Queen Amy: Starring Senator Amy Klobuchar as the newly-appointed Queen of Earth, where she makes every single significant decision, all while being the average height. Who does that? (Projected Rating: 9.4)

Warren Piece: Starring Senator Elizabeth Warren as almost every character in this new adaptation of the classic novel War and Peace. Dwayne Johnson is set to star alongside her as himself. (Projected Rating: 11.2)

Maya and Kamala: A variety show starring Maya Rudolph and Kamala Harris in sketch comedy acts. Kamala Harris’ sister, Maya Harris, will be a recurring cast member. (Projected Rating: 10.3)

The Marianne Williamson Show: This varsity show has no set description, as it has been given full creative freedom by the network. It stars Marianne Williamson of View Primetime fame. (Projected Rating: 30.9)

So You Think You Can Write A Bill?: Senator Bernie Sanders guides viewers through the process of writing a congressional bill, alongside other damn things you never knew he wrote. (Projected Rating: 15.4)

Boot Edge Edge: Hourly weekly program where an image of the words ‘Boot Edge Edge’ are displayed on the television just to confuse people of what name to look for on the ballot in 2024. (Projected Rating: 15.2)

Pete Buttigieg Live!: Basically Jimmy Kimmel but with Pete Buttigieg. (Projected Rating: 10.2)

DBC is looking to revive high-rated shows such as For The People, The World’s Best, Bordertown, and Sunnyside. Well, maybe not high-rated, but shows they enjoyed watching at least.

The TV Ratings Guide has also gained exclusive access to the preliminary version of DBC’s schedule, which looks like this:

8-The World’s Best
9-Maya and Kamala
10-The Marianne Williamson Show
11:30-Pete Buttigieg Live!

8-Nervous Nancy
9-Queen Amy
10-The Marianne Williamson Show
11:30-Pete Buttigieg Live!

9-Warren Piece
10-The Marianne Williamson Show
11:30-Pete Buttigieg Live!

8-So You Think You Can Write A Bill?
9-Boot Edge Edge
10-The Marianne Williamson Show
11:30-Pete Buttigieg Live!

8-Young Sheldon
10-The Marianne Williamson Show
11:30-Pete Buttigieg Live!

8-Mike Bloomberg Ads
9-Tom Steyer Ads
10-The Marianne Williamson Show
11:30-Pete Buttigieg Live!

10-The Marianne Williamson Show
11:30-Pete Buttigieg Live!

What do you think you this news? Let us know in the comments if you wish DBC was real!

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