Marietta Season 2 Episode 16 - Love & Marriage

Marietta Season 2, Episode 16
Love & Marriage

At the Mayor’s Mansion…
Marietta: Tammy! Where is my dress?
Tammy: I’m not your personal assistant, I don’t know.
Marietta: Can you help me find it?
Tammy: Yes, I will.
Marietta: Okay, thanks. I can’t believe I misplaced it.
Tammy: You have a lot on your mind.
Marietta: I should still be able to reminder things, there’s only positive things happening right now. Nothing to stress about. My son’s getting married and my husband’s coming home from Africa for it.
Tammy: That can be very stressful for some people.
Marietta: I was in the Senate during a war, multiple terror attacks, hurricanes… my memory never failed me then.
Tammy: Are you potentially worried about seeing Danny? You haven’t talked to him much in the past year that he’s been gone.
Marietta: No, that isn’t it. I’m thrilled he’s home. I think.
Tammy: You think?
Marietta: I think.
Tammy: Oh look! There’s your dress! It’s so pretty! 
Marietta: Where is it? Where are you pointing?
Tammy: Your closet door.
Marietta: Oh my god. I don't know where my mind is today.
Tammy: It’s busy worrying.
Three hours later…
Marietta: Wow! Look at you guys! You clean up well!
Patty Lynn: I know we do.
Marietta: I can’t believe my son is getting married today.
Tammy: He already had a kid, getting married is nothing compared to that!
Marietta: I guess. Still, it feels like it was just a few years ago that I was pregnant with him while I was in the House and now he’s getting married and he’s starting his own family. I feel so old.
Patty Lynn: How do you think I feel? I was a young, cool mom when I had you kids and now I’m a great-grandmother.
Marietta: But the difference is that you’re clearly old. You’re got grey hair.
Patty Lynn: No I don’t! My hair is blonde!
Marietta: You wear a wig all the time. I’ve seen you without a wig. Your hairs is grey. That’s okay, you were born when Franklin Roosevelt was in the middle of his eighty-third term. I’m still young. I’m still cool. I have a Billie Eilish CD!
Milton: Cool people don’t have CDs.
Marietta: I watch RuPaul’s Drag Race!
Milton: Cool people don’t watch TV.
Marietta: My favorite movie is The Avengers!
Milton: That’s not a thing to brag about.
Marietta: What’s wrong with the Avengers?
Milton: It’s the highest grossing movie franchise, it’s not like it’s anything impressive.
Marietta: I was trying to express how I know what the kids like because I’m just like them.
Tammy: Marietta is clearly having a psychotic break right now for some reason and we shouldn’t be going after her.
Kathleen: I completely agree! Now, let’s get to this wedding because my shoes are already killing me and we’ve still got hours to go before this thing even starts!
Marietta: Alright, sounds like a plan!
Martin: I feel like I should’ve asked before, but I have to program the venue into the GPS. Where’s it being held again?
Marietta: At some old Catholic church. Then the reception is at a jazz hall. Here’s the addresses, I have them written in my notebook. They were going to have it at an old plantation but then I told them that was very racist so they went the more traditional route. I know, I am a hero.
Milton: How did they know that it was offensive to get married at a plantation?
Marietta: Her parents were married there, she wanted to get married at the same place. Her parents are, uh, old-fashioned. They didn’t really consider that it was offensive. Luckily I’m woke.
Milton: Are you trying to convince us or yourself?
That night, at the reception…
Marietta: I can’t believe he still isn’t here!
Tammy: I’m sure he has a very good reason.
Milton: Has he tried calling you?
Marietta: No! At least I don’t think, my phone is in my purse and it’s on vibrate.
Tammy: Maybe check it then.
Kathleen: You don’t even have your phone, you left it in the pew after the wedding. I picked it up. You’re welcome. Where would you be without me?
Tammy: Phone-less I guess. Say thank you Marietta.
Marietta: Thank you Marietta.
Milton: That was such an old person joke, you’re clearly not cool.
Martin: Look Marietta! Danny’s here!
Danny rushes in and embraces Marietta.
Marietta: I’m mad at you. You’re late to our son’s wedding!
Danny: You haven’t seen me in a year and this is what you say?
Marietta: Why are you late?
Danny: I called you! My flight got delayed. When I went to our house, none of our stuff was there and it looked like an elderly clean freak moved in. There’s so many cardigans and lint rollers. Then I saw the pictures on the wall of Tammy and her family. You didn’t tell me you moved out and let Tammy move in.
Marietta: I know, I know. We’ve both made mistakes.
Danny: I had to go to your parents’ house to shower. I’m wearing a t-shirt. At my son’s wedding.
Marietta: Again, mistakes have been mutual here today.
Danny: I didn’t make any mistakes besides not communicating with you telepathically.
Marietta: The Governor of Rhode Island got to your son’s wedding before you.
Gretchen Raymond (Governor of Rhode Island): Who am I? Why am I here?
Marietta: Gretchen, not the time for jokes.
Danny: I’m sorry I’m late, it really isn’t my fault.
Marietta: I know that, and I accept it. I’m not really mad at you, I’m just pulling your leg.
Kate: Marietta, Gretchen is actually extremely drunk right now and I really don’t think she knows who she is.
Marietta: Gretchen! This is why you have a 30% approval rating in Rhode Island!
Gretchen: What’s Rhode Island?
Marietta: Can you take her back to the hotel, Kate? I can’t believe she became governor after leaving the Senate and I’m stuck as a mayor.
Amy: I would gladly take over for you!
Marietta: Not so fast!
Kate: Ellie, can you take Gretchen back to the hotel? I don’t want to miss the mother-son dance!
Marietta: That’s… that’s not happening.
Kyle: Dad! You’re here! I didn’t know you were coming!
Marietta: I was trying to surprise you dear, but somebody was a little late and missed the most important ceremony of your life. Don’t forget why was really there for you guys!
Maria: Aunt Kathleen?
Marietta grimaces.
Kathleen: She’s not wrong, Marietta. I was here. I’m the cool one in this family.
Marietta: That doesn’t even make any sense, using that logic we’re all cool!
Patty Lynn: I mean… we are. What other families flew out to South Dakota to protest an oil pipeline?
Marietta: Not this one!
Martin: We actually did that when you were in the Senate.
Marietta: What? How am I just finding out about this now?
Kate: I feel like this is a conversation that could happen at a time that isn’t now.
Eliza: No, I haven’t gotten out of the house since November. This is the first time I’ve felt amused in six months.
Danny: What happened while I was gone? Everyone’s crazy now!
Milton: Now? You knew this when you married into this family.
Danny: I didn’t even know that Kathleen and Eliza were part this family again.
Kathleen: Didn’t you guys talk at all?
Marietta: I didn’t talk about you guys. We had more important things to talk about.
Kathleen: You think you matter to someone, and yet…
Marietta: You matter! We just had a very limited time to talk since his phone connection was terrible. I updated him on the campaign and that was about it.
Danny: I didn’t even know that I had a granddaughter until she nonchalantly mentioned a “Katharine” last month. I thought she was talking about Hepburn at first.
Kathleen: Do you not know that she died either?
Kate: Again I say that I feel like you could have this conversation later.
Marietta: I agree. For now, we will celebrate love. My two favorite kids are finally married!
Milton: It sounds like it said two of your own favorite children are getting married.
Marietta: In a way, I see Maria as the daughter I never had.
Kyle: Mom, no!
Marietta: Alright, I will. Now are you two going to dance already or what?
Kyle: Only if you dance with me as well. Maria’s dad is dancing with her and I’m dancing with her mom. My parents have to take part in the dances, too.
Marietta: Alright, fine. But if they use this against me in campaign ads when I run for re-election, you’re never hearing the end of it.
Kyle: I don’t think there’s Republican spies here so we’re good.
Marietta: I’m still not fully convinced Amy isn’t one.
Amy: Hey!
Ellie: I don’t know if this is a bad time, but Gretchen just hurled on the floor so someone should clean that up before the dance. Also, I’m finally taking her back to the room before this gets any worse. I will be back, don’t you dare cut the cake without me.
Tammy: Don’t worry, they could never cut the cake without the weird friend of the groom’s mom being in attendance!
Forty-five minutes later…
Kate: Woohoo!!! You go Marietta!!!
Kathleen: I don’t know why my niece just did the hustle during the mother-son dance at her son’s wedding, but I for one enjoyed it.
Marietta: I’m so embarrassed but it was fun. Really fun.
Kyle: I’m glad you did that, mom. I can’t believe you did, though.
Marietta: Would you say it makes me cool?
Kyle: Umm..
Marietta: Close enough!
Patty Lynn: When is the cake getting cut? Your grandfather and I wanted to start a conga line but didn’t want to do it now if you’re going to do the cake.
Marietta: Mom, you’re gonna throw out your hip!
Patty Lynn: You aren’t my mom, Marietta. You need to just take a deep breath and let people do what they want. Enjoy the day.
Marietta: Alright, fine. But I do want some cake soon. I’m hungry.
Kyle: Don’t we have to wait for Ellie?
Kate: Not really, no.
Patty Lynn: Kate! That’s unusually sassy for you!
Kate: I’m not always nice. Ellie and I have a very playful relationship. One time, she snuck into my office and spooked me, and I responded by throwing a stapler at her head. We have fun!
Patty Lynn: Okay then…
Ellie: I’m back! I had to ask the bellhop to help me get Gina up to her room, but it’s all good now. She’s definitely going to have a headache tomorrow though.
Kate: So does this mean we can have cake now?
Kyle: I guess so!
Maria: My mom wants a slice from the bottom tier. She said it’s good luck or something, I don’t know.
Martin: Hey Maria!
Maria: Yeah?
Martin: I haven’t gotten to ask you yet. What’s it like to officially be a Landfield now?
Maria: It feels like I’ve been in the family for so long already because you guys are so welcoming, but it’s great for it to be official now. I wouldn’t want to be marrying into any other family. You guys are the best.
Martin: That’s the correct answer!
Kate: Do you guys always get into important conversations at inopportune times or is that just today?
Marietta: Just today. I think. It’s a crazy day.
Kyle: Okay Maria, let’s go cut the cake.
Maria: Remember, a slice from the bottom tier for my mom. And don’t give my nana any no matter how much she begs, she’s not allowed any.
Kyle: Okay, no cake for nana.
Kyle and Maria go off to cut the cake while everyone else stands behind them to watch.
Danny: I think it’s nice that they waited to do the cake until Ellie got here -
Kate: Again, they should not have.
Danny: But isn’t it a little strange that they’re doing the cake after the dancing? At our wedding, we cut the cake pretty before the dancing.
Marietta: They wanted to mix things up. They also didn’t do toasts during dinner, they’re waiting to do it while people are eating cake.Patty Lynn: Yeah, why are they doing that? That one is weird.
Marietta: I may have pushed them in that direction.
Patty Lynn: Why’d you do that?
Marietta: Once it became clear that Danny here wasn’t going to make it in time for dinner, I had to push it back so he could be here for the toast.
Kathleen: How did you get them to do that? Did you tell them you didn’t want to risk Gretchen wanting to give a toast?
Marietta: You know, inviting her to the wedding was a mistake that I don’t need to be reminded of.
Kathleen: Really though, how did you convince them to change their plans at the last minute?
Marietta: I told them that people might be busy talking and eating during dinner and it was better to do it a little later. It was a total lie but I couldn’t let on that Danny was coming.
Martin: Who is doing the toast?
Marietta: Well like I said, they wanted to change things up. So they’re giving both sets of parents and any other close family members the chance to give a toast. They wanted it to be family-oriented.
Martin: Why wasn’t I told about this?
Marietta: They’re kind of a mess, what can I say?
Thirty minutes later..
Kyle: Okay, here we go! It’s time for the toasts. Mom, you want to start?
Marietta: Sure! What can I say about Kyle and Maria that I haven’t already used in a campaign speech? They’re the sweetest and most loving young couple I’ve ever met. They love each other with their whole hearts, and that love is so apparent to anyone that knows them. It’s no secret that I’ve been home in New Orleans more frequently now than I was a few years ago, and I’m actually glad about that because I’ve gotten to see their love blossom more and more. Especially as they welcomed their little girl Katharine into the world. I still remember the feeling of bringing Kyle home from the hospital with me when he was first born, and the love that I felt just looking into his eyes. I know Kyle felt the same feeling looking into Katharine’s eyes, and that happened because of the love between him and Maria. I couldn’t think of anyone better to be welcoming into my family than her. I’m so grateful you found one another. You make each other better.
Marietta sits down.
Kyle: Who’s next?
Marietta: I think your grandfather said he wanted to go next!
Martin: No, I didn’t!
Kyle: Grandpa? You want to go?
Martin: No! I just learned I was doing this a half hour ago, I have to think yet!
Kyle: Alright, grandma?
Patty Lynn: I need time as well!
Kathleen: I’ll do it!
Martin: Oh no.
Kyle: Alright, Aunt Kathleen!
Kathleen: Okay kiddos. The expert has arrived. No one here has more wedding experience than me. I’ve been in your position three times, Kyle. I was divorced twice, the other time I was widowed. It’s okay, happens to the best of us. Jackie Kennedy was a widow twice.
Martin: Get on with it.
Kathleen: Oh, right. Kyle and Maria. I haven’t known either of you for very long, but you’re good kids. That I know. I also know that I drank too much wine tonight. Either way, I wish you both well and I hope you have so much success in your lives as a married couple. I’m done now.
Maria: That was… beautiful. Next?
Martin: I’ll go now, my toast can’t possibly be worse than that.

What did you think of the episode? Comment your thoughts, listen to the official season two playlist below and make sure to read the new episode next week!

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