Kevin: CFO
Gregory: General Manager
Christina: Director of Marketing & Promotions
Ruthie: Project Manager
FRED, KEVIN, GREGORY, CHRISTINA, and RUTHIE are all in a SugarCity boardroom.
FRED
Sorry for the delay everyone. In the mean time, the ad’s been animated.
CHRISTINA
Doesn’t it take months to do that?
FRED
Not when you hire the company we hired. Anyways, it looks terrible.
CHRISTINA
Yeah, I wonder why.
FRED
Take a look.
FRED plays the ad for the AGRUS bar.
GREGORY
Looks like an episode of Western Park.
FRED
Not what it’s called.
KEVIN
I’m no creative type, but maybe we can sell it off as some type os satire thing? You know, say it’s a parody of other ads. Make them not take it seriously.
FRED
Not a terrible idea given the circumstances.
RUTHIE
This would’ve never happened if we went with Baby Ruthie.
FRED
Yes it would’ve. So long as I was CEO, it would’ve happened.
CHRISTINA
Well at least you’re owning up to your mistakes.
FRED
I’m not getting forced out for this, right?
KEVIN
Only if the AGRUS Bar flops beyond belief. And even then, CEOs don’t get forced out. They resign.
FRED
Kevin, we all know CEOs don’t resign unless they’re being forced out. They’re all a bunch of Dicks.
GREGORY
Whoa!
FRED
Dick Nixon! Sorry about that.
CHRISTINA
And did you just compare yourself to Richard Nixon?
FRED
Yeah, I guess I did. Anyways, the ad. We’re airing it?
RUTHIE
I guess we are.
FRED
We should focus group it, actually.
CHRISTINA
No, we shouldn’t. Remember the last focus group?
GREGORY
Weren’t you the one in favor of focus groups?
CHRISTINA
Yep! I’ve changed my mind though. People do that.
GREGORY
Are you suggesting I’m not a person? Just because I run a factory doesn’t mean I’m a robot!
KEVIN
And just because I’m good with numbers doesn’t mean I’m a robot!
RUTHIE
Nobody was accusing you of such, Kevin.
FRED
So we’re really going for so-bad-it’s-good.
GREGORY
Or social commentary. We can call critics racist.
FRED
I think you’re onto something! You know, I think this is really going to work. Meeting dismissed.
KEVIN
Wait a minute! What’s the next step? You always tell us what the next step is before we leave!
FRED
Well, I had intended on advertising during the Olympics but it doesn’t seem like that’s gonna happen after our unexpected break.
KEVIN
COVID?
FRED
Uh…yeah. Sure. Am I under oath right now? Anyways, we’ll figure out some shows to advertise this on.
KEVIN, GREGORY, CHRISTINA, and RUTHIE walk out.
RUTHIE
Is it me or are our meetings awfully short?
CHRISTINA
Fred’s just to the point. I think he’s scared he’s gonna say or do something stupid and get fired, maybe. Should we talk to him about making them longer?
RUTHIE
Oh no, I’m not complaining. Just pointing it out.