LORENZO, CHASE, MADISON, SAM, ADAM, REAGAN, and LINCOLN are all meeting at MADISON’S apartment.
REAGAN
You know, it feels nice to meet up outside of the state legislature or the law office for us non-Lorenzo people.
LINCOLN
I do kinda miss meeting up at Lorenzo’s Kitchen though.
MADISON
Well, I hope this place is somewhere in between at least. We could’ve done this at the state Capitol, but I didn’t really want any of the representatives to hear it.
SAM
So then we couldn’t have done it at the state Capitol.
MADISON
We could’ve waited for everyone else to leave.
SAM
I’m pretty certain at least five of them live in that building.
MADISON
Then it’s a good thing we’re doing this away from everyone.
ADAM
You’re not gonna murder us right?
MADISON
No! But my political career is being murdered and I need ideas. I was right about raising a dollar or two. I held a fundraiser and one person showed up. They gave me pocket change. Came out to $1.47. What am I even supposed to do with that?
CHASE
That’s $1.47 more than I have.
LINCOLN
What do you mean, I’m always seeing your ads on television.
CHASE
I’m out of money now. And when was the last time you watched TV, because the ads stopped airing three days ago.
LORENZO
Shouldn’t we be getting that SugarCity endorsement soon?
SAM
Hopefully. But in the mean time, we need plans.
ADAM
We could go all-in on hating on our opponents.
LINCOLN
Let’s face it. We only got elected because of the huge scandal that took a bunch of people out of Congress. We were always going to be one-term representatives. We should be looked toward the next chapter of our political careers.
MADISON
Oh no. ‘The next chapter’ is never good.
LORENZO
I don’t know, sometimes I like a chapter in the middle of a book more than the beginning.
LINCOLN
What about the end of a book?
LORENZO
Haven’t finished enough to get a good sample.
MADISON
You’re taking this too literally, Lorenzo.
LINCOLN
Maybe Senator is our calling.
CHASE
Or Vice President!
SAM
Nobody’s calling is Vice President.
CHASE
Aren’t they, like, always the ones who do all the work?
SAM
Without the fame, yeah.
CHASE
They also don’t age 30 years while in office.
MADISON
Let’s just focus on winning re-election here for now.
ADAM
Or losing by the least possible margin.
LORENZO
Yeah. Cover the betting odds.
SAM
I don’t think there are betting odds.
CHASE
Oh there are betting odds.
SAM
What are they?
CHASE
Let me look what people are predicting…50 cents or more is good…alright.
CHASE takes a deep breath.
CHASE
Madison, you’re at 10 cents. I’m at 14 cents, Sam is at 19 cents, Reagan is at 2 cents, Lincoln is at 46 cents, Adam is at 20 cents, and Lorenzo’s at 32 cents.
LORENZO
32 cents? But that’s impossible, I’m gonna win! People want to get a cotton candy beer with me!
CHASE
I think one thing’s clear…we have to associate ourselves with Lincoln more.
LINCOLN
Why? I get nothing done on my own.
SAM
I think you just answered your own question. You have less to defend.
LORENZO
Well then congratulations Lincoln, you’re my new mascot!
LINCOLN
Oh joy.
ADAM
But seriously, we kinda all need your endorsement. As ridiculous as this sounds.
LINCOLN
Alright. I’ll put out a social media post tonight and maybe soon enough you’ll also still be the underdog for re-election!
MADISON
This is just our short-term plan. That SugarCity endorsement should happen any time now. Plus, they don’t have any controversies going on now that they have Fred as CEO and everything’s going well there.