Our House Season 4 Episode 14 - Our Pink Ladies

Our House Season 4, Episode 14
Our Pink Ladies

Betty, Cindy, Tammi and Velma walk into the house after a late night at the bowling alley .

Betty: Girls, that was such fun! We need to do it again some time!

Tammi: Okay, tell me if this is a stupid idea.

Zeke: It’s stupid.

Tammi: What are you doing here, Zeke?

Zeke: I live her, Tammi.

Tammi: Only when Amelia’s mad at you. Did she finally come to her senses?

Zeke: She’s out of town this weekend.

Cindy: I gotta get to bed, honey. Are you going to spit your stupid idea out first?

Tammi: I saw a sign posted at the bowling alley for a bowling league that competes once every other week. Would you guys want to do that?

Velma: I’d be willing to do just about anything that would get me out of this house more often than I currently do.

Cindy: Once every other week? I think I could make it work.

Betty: I’ll have to check my schedule. It’s very busy, you know. Oh, I’m just joking. I think that would be a blast!

Tammi: Okay, I’ll have to sign us up. We need a team name, though. Something catchy!

Betty: The Pink Ladies!

Cindy: Like in Grease?

Velma: Grease is the word!

Betty: Yes, that is from Grease, but it’s also a common bowling team name. It’s cute!

Tammi: I like it. It’s simple, it’s nice, it works.

Betty: There’s a garment company that I buy from for the boutique that I think could make us nice bowling jackets. You want me to order them?

Cindy: That would be very helpful, mom. Thank you.

Teri: Whoa, what is going on here and why was I not invited?

Cindy: Teri, we did invite you. You said, and I quote -

Teri: “I hate bowling.” Yeah, I do.

Cindy: So why are you acting surprised or upset about us going out for a night of bowling?

Teri: You’re making some sort of club that I feel left out of.

Betty: You can be our coach!

Teri: What do you think this is, mom? The NFL? I’m not going to coach your bowling squad. I’m just giving you all a hard time. Have fun throwing balls down an alley at pins while wearing sweaty shoes previously worn by hundreds of other people.

Cindy: We will do just that! Hopefully you have fun staying home and watching General Hospital!

Teri: I do not watch General Hospital! Anymore.

Ten minutes later…

Betty: I hope I didn’t wake you, honey.

Karl: Eh…

Betty: Oh no! You were sleeping?

Karl: I was reading a book and getting drowsy. It doesn't matter, though, I’m awake now if you want to chat.

Betty: I just formed a bowling team with the girls!

Karl: By “the girls,” do you mean Cindy Tammi, and Velma?

Betty: Well, Danielle is out of town and Teri refuses to even walk into a bowling alley, so yes, those are “the girls.”

Karl: What does Teri think about this? Or does she not know? Might be best to keep it that way.

Betty: Oh, she knows. She was snarky about it, as usual, but she gave it her blessing.

Karl: That’s good to hear. We know how she acts when she’s jealous.

Betty: Like a spoiled brat? I know, but she’s taking this well. I think her hatred of bowling has a lot to do with it.

Karl: Anything else interesting happen tonight?

Betty: No, you can go to sleep now if you want to.

Karl: Thank you, honey. I love you so much.

Betty: I can’t help but feel like you’re only saying that because I’m letting you go t- and you’re already asleep. Sleep well, honey.

Five days later…

Tammi: Okay, everyone. I hope you’re ready, because I have some big news!

Frank: Are y-

Tammi: No, honey.

Frank: You didn’t ev-

Tammi: Honey, let me speak.

Frank: Okay, guess you di-

Tammi: Guess I didn’t.

Jerry: She’s pissed off today and taking no nonsense. I’m proud of her. I tau-

Tammi: Dad, let me talk!

Jerry: I deserved that.

Tammi: Mom, grandma, Velma and I formed a new bowling team to join the bowling league at the bowling alley and Saturday is going to be our first competition.

Mitchell: Since when do you bowl, Velma?

Velma: I have a life outside of this house, Mitchell.

Mitchell: I never said you didn’t, honey.

Velma: Don’t “honey” me.

Steven: Mom, why didn’t you ask me to bowl with you?

Tammi: It’s really more of an adult thing, sweetheart.

Steven: I can be adult!

Tammi: No, it has an age requirement. Sort of like the presidency.

Ralph: Did you just compare a bowling league to the presidency?

Tammi: You’re right, it’s not fair. We work a lot harder.

Teri: I just have to say, it is so funny to me that joining a bowling league is considered big news in this house.

Karl: Teri, don’t be rude.

Teri: I’m just saying! It’s not like they won the Nobel Prize.

Cindy: I don’t see you winning one, either.

Teri: That was uncalled for. I could if I wanted to!

Cindy: Making chicken tacos is not considered “chemistry.”

Teri: It should be.

Ralph: Tammi, do you have anything else to add to your story?

Tammi: No, that’d be all.

Ralph: Then I agree with Teri that it was a disappointment. I’m happy for you, though!

Tami: Not all of my stories can be winners, I guess.

Jerry: It was a lot more interesting than most of our idiotic dinner table stories. At least you guys are getting out there and doing something fun with your lives.

Teri: What are you implying, Jerry?

Jerry: I’m saying that most of us spend all of our time off relaxing on the couch watching nonsense like lazy bums. It’s nice that a few of us are at least doing something.

Teri: If I want to unwind with some RuPaul’s Drag Race at the end of a long day, then I see nothing wrong with that.

Frank: Some of you get offended so easily.

Teri: You thought it was a wise idea to chime in because…?

Frank: I think I have a right to speak.

Betty: Can you all stop fighting? You’re ruining dinner!

Teri: I was wondering when you were going to say something. You were being uncharacteristically quiet.

Betty: I just think we should all get along. Is that too much to ask?

Cindy: No, it isn’t. Right, Teri?

Teri: Your husband was the one who called me a bum.

Jerry: I didn’t mean it that way.

Cindy: Does anyone else have anything interesting to share? Anyone at all?

Mitchell: Anita came in to work today!

Betty: Anita?

Mitchell: Yeah, that skinny lady that sometimes sounds British and sometimes doesn’t.

Frank: You mean Madonna?

Betty: No, Frank. He means my enemy, Anita. Why didn't you tell me she was in? She was up to no good, I know that much.

Mitchell: She just bought a shirt and left, I didn’t think she was behaving suspiciously at all.

Betty: That’s what she wants you to think.

Cindy: Does anyone else have any other stories? Steven, anything happen at school today?

Steven: Not really, no.

Cindy: That’s so helpful.

The next night…

Velma: We’re kinda on fire tonight, aren’t we?

Cindy: Let’s not get too cocky.

Betty: The Pink Ladies have that trophy on lock.

Tammi: Grandma, we haven’t even competed yet in the first of ten matches.

Betty: Doesn’t matter. I feel it in my bones. The only weak link here is your mother, and she’s still pretty good.

Cindy: Excuse me? Who here got a strike during her first time up to bowl? That’s right, me! Not you! Me!

Tammi: Mom, you’e letting it go to your head.

Cindy: I’m just proud of myself.

Betty: Pride is a sin, honey.

Cindy: Then we’re both going to hell, I guess.

Velma: Is someone going to bowl? We’re all just standing here talking. I know I love talking, but there’s a time and a place.

Tammi: You’re up, Velma.

Velma: Oh. Sorry!

Betty: Velma, what are you doing?

Velma: My good luck trick.

Betty: It’s good luck to make out with the bowling ball?

Velma: I’m whispering to it.

Betty: Uh-huh.

Velma: It works! I’m doing well, am I not.

Betty: Better than Cindy, at least.

Cindy: Mom, you have the least points of any of us.

Betty: That is a dirty lie.

Velma: Okay, I am going to throw the ball. I am approaching the lane. I am relea-

Anita: Hey, guys!

Velma drops the ball on her foot.

Velma: Ahhhh!!!

Betty: You bitch!

Anita: Is that any way to talk to a friend? Or to a fellow competitor?

Betty: A fellow what

Anita: Some of the HOA gals and I formed a bowling team. It sounded like loads of fun. Speaking of which, like my shirt?

Velma: Guys, I don’t mean to interrupt, but my foot is throbbing.

Betty: I know, Velma. We’re all furious about this.

Velma: You aren’t listening. I dropped a bowling ball on my foot!

Cindy: Do you need to go to the hospital?

Velma: I think so.

Cindy: Come on, let’s go.

Tammi: That means you, too, grandma.

Betty: Oh, yes, right.

Anita: Good luck at the hospital!

Betty: Screw you!

Anita: That’s just poor sportsmanship.

Betty: You sabota-

Velma: Why? Why? Why?

Cindy: Mom, let it go. We need to get Nancy Kerrigan to the hospital.

Later that night…

Jerry: Wow, you guys are getting hom- Oh, Velma, what happened to your foot?

Betty: Anita?

Jerry: Did she pull a Tonya Harding?

Cindy: Hey, that’s what I said!

Tammi: She startled Velma when she was about to roll the ball and it made Velma drop it on her foot.

Velma: I’m going to be okay, though!

Jerry: I would assume. Dropping a bowling ball on your foot doesn’t tend to be fatal.

Mitchell: Do you need some help getting to be, honey?

Jerry: No, I’m good.

Mitchell: I was referring to Velma.

Jerry: No way!

Velma: I would appreciate your help getting to bed, but only if you don’t call me honey. We’ve talked about this.

Mitchell: You’re right, I’m sorry.

Betty: Girls, I know we’re in crisis right now, but what are we going to do about our bowling league? Velma clearly can’t compete with a foot in a cast!

Cindy: We can talk about this tomorrow. It’s after midnight and I’m exhausted. And I think Tammi fella asleep with her eyes open.

Tammi: It’s been a long day. Where am I?

Betty: Okay, you two get to bed. I think I’ll unwind a bit out here.

Cindy: Don’t stay up too late. We may have a bowling competition to compete in tomorrow!

The next day…

Betty: Teri, can you come here for a second?

Karl: I think she has earplugs in.

Betty: Earplugs?

Karl: Those things she uses to listen to music.

Betty: Those are earbuds, Karl.

Karl: What’s the difference?

Ralph walks over to Teri and pulls her earbuds out.

Teri: Hey! I was listening to Hotel California!

Ralph: Mom wants to talk to you.

Teri: What’s going on, mom?

Betty: We have a question for you. Just a nice little proposal.

Teri: Oh boy.

Betty: Tammi, Cindy and I want you to be a Pink Lady.

Teri: You what?

Betty: We want you to join our bowling team.

Teri: By any chance, is this because Velma’s little injury?

Betty: That and because we called Danielle and asked her to come home early from Georgia to join, but she refused for some reason.

Teri: Huh, wonder why.

Betty: So will you do it? We’ll be disqualified if we don’t have a team of four!

Teri: I don’t know why, because I really don’t appreciate being anyone’s backup choice, but I will do it. Probably because I know you’ll whine about it for a long time if you get disqualified.

Betty: Oh, that’s great! Our first competition is in four hours, can you get ready?

Teri: Oh, mom…

Betty: I’ll get you a bowling shirt. It’s gorgeous!

Teri: I’m sure it is.

Four hours later…

Teri: We look like Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink.

Betty: I think the shirts are gorgeous!

Tammi: I’m just glad that our outfits aren’t part of our scores.

Anita: Wow, look at this rag-tag group of misfits!

Betty: Are you here to try to injure another member of our team? Not happening!

Anita: It was a horrible accident, nothing more. It’s bad sportsmanship to accuse someone of intentionally doing something so awful.

Betty: Bad sportsmanship, you say? 

Tammi: Grandma, ignore her. Let’s focus on the competition. Her lane isn’t even anywhere near ours.

Betty: You’re right, you’re right. I guess we should get to our lane and get ready to go.

Teri: Is this the part where we put on the gross rental shoes?

Cindy: Sure is! Buckle up, buttercup!

Two hours later…

Betty: Okay, Teri. The good news is that Anita’s team is in fifth place. No shot at the podium for them -

Tammi: There isn’t a podium, grandma. This isn’t the Olympics.

Betty: Well, it should be. Anyway, the bad news is that we’re in second and you’re going to need to knock down nine pins to get us the win.

Karl: You can do it!

Mitchell: Go team!

Velma: Pink Ladies forever!

Teri: So helpful, guys! Keep it up!

Mitchell: It’s really helpful?

Teri: Not really, but it’s sweet you’re trying. It’s even sweeter that Frank knows to keep quiet.

Tammi: Did you just compliment Frank?

Teri: In a way.

Betty: Focus! Make this last throw really count.

Cindy: Remember, second is still a win!

Betty: Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!

Teri: Mom, you are frightening me.

Betty: Good, you’re learning!

Teri walks up to the lane.

Teri: I’m going!

Tammi: Good, because you’re really stretching this out.

Teri: Here goes nothing!

Betty: Oh, this is so scary to watch! I’m almost as nervous as I was while watching those little figure skating girls do those jumps at the Olympics.

Teri: It didn’t go in the gutter, that’s a win in my book.

Velma: It’s a strike!

Betty: We won!

Anita: This is rigged! Recount! They can’t replace a team member this close to competition! Stop the st-

Betty: This may sound overdramatic, but nothing can ever make me forget the thrill of this moment.

Tammi: Good, because we’ve got nine more of these before the season is over.

Betty: Well, guess we should keep practicing!

What did you think of this episode Our House? Let us know in the comments and make sure to return for a new episode next week!

Share this

Related Posts

Next Post »