Cindy and Steven walk into the door.
Steven: Grandma, what’s going on out there?
Cindy: I don’t know, honey. I was wondering the same thing.
Velma: The state police have been at Darla’s all day. I haven’t gone out to see what’s going on since I’ve been working.
Jerry: I think the state police probably appreciate that. They don’t need you sticking your nose in whatever business they have over there.
Velma: Don’t talk about me like I’m some nosy menace!
Jerry: If it talks like a duck, and it walks like a duck…
Teri: I’ll go talk to the police. I want to know what’s going on!
Cindy: As long as it isn’t mom going to talk to the police.
Betty: What is that supposed to mean?
Cindy: You would probably end up being arrested.
Karl: No one should talk to the police!
Ralph: I agree, no one should ever talk to the police at any time.
Karl: Whatever they’re doing over there, it’s not our business and we don’t need to get involved in it.
Danielle: We don’t want to be known as the nosy neighbors, do we?
Teri: Considering that I currently see multiple neighbors standing in the street with binoculars and opera glasses, I don’t think we need to worry about winning that title.
Steven: So we aren’t going to find out why the police is at the neighbor’s?
Tammi: It isn’t our business, so, no.
Steven: Ah, you guys are so lame. I’m going to my room.
Tammi: Do your homework while you’re in there!
Teri: We all know that is not what’s going to happen in there. That is less a bedroom and more an arcade.
Cindy: I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t stop wondering what’s going on over there. I’m worried.
Ralph: We’re gonna find out soon en-
There is a knock at the door.
Betty: I’ll get it!
Cindy: Oh, lord. She’s gonna embarrass herself.
Betty answers the door.
Officer Greer: Hello, I’m Officer Greer with the Virginia State Police. I don’t mean to intrude, but there is an active police investigation going on on your street, and we just wanted to inform the residents of what is occurring.
Betty: So, uh, what exactly is occurring?
Officer Greer: Were any residents of the domicile home at nine o’clock this morning?
Betty: Was anyone here at the “domicile” at nine this morning?
Velma: I was here, as I always am.
Tammi: I also was here.
Ralph: I was here, but asleep. Does that count?
Officer Greer: We’re not going to need to speak with you, no.
Ralph: Thank the non-existent god.
Betty: Anyone else home?
Teri: Weren’t you home, mom?
Betty: I left for the store before that. Just ask your father.
Karl: She did. She wanted to be at work by nine.
Officer Greer: So you two were the only ones who were here at that time.
Tammi: Yes, but what is so important about that time?
Officer Greer: Your neighbor, Darla Cornwall, is missing. The last known sighting of her was at 9:04 AM by one of your neighbors who caught her in a photo they took of the neighborhood. By the time Ms. Cornwall’s mother arrived at her home at ten, she was nowhere to be found, so we know she went missing in that hour.
Betty: That’s horrible!
Officer Greer: I have to ask, did anyone here see anything in that hour, or even see anyone suspicious in the neighborhood in the hours ahead of Ms. Cornwall’s disappearance?
Tammi: I didn’t see anything today. I sent my son off to school with my mom and I wasn’t at the window or door at all the rest of the day.
Velma: Same story for me, pretty much.
Officer Greer: All right, now a question for all of you. Did you see anything or anyone suspicious in this neighborhood in the days or even weeks preceding the disappearance? Any small detail could help.
Mitchell: There was a salesman in the area. He didn’t seem suspicious, but he definitely wasn’t usually around.
Officer Greer: When was this?
Mitchell: Two days ago.
Officer Greer: Do you have any recollection of his physical appearance?
Mitchell: Medium height, maybe around five-foot-nine? Dark hair. White skin.
Velma: So you’re saying you were the salesman?
Mitchell: Velma, not a great time to joke.
Officer Greer: Did anyone else see anything unusual in the area?
Frank: Not unusual, but I did notice that Darla had some packages on her porch that were left there overnight last night and still there this morning. Could this be some sort of robbery gone wrong?
Officer Greer: I’m not allowed to comment on an open investigation, but we are considering all options.
Teri: Duh. What an idiot, Frank.
Betty: I have a question.
Officer Greer: I might not be able to answer, but feel free to ask away.
Betty: I see from my detective shows that police don’t act on missing persons cases until a full day of them being missing. Why are you investigating this.
Officer Greer: There are exceptions in certain circumstances. When it calls for urgent action, we act, well, urgently. That’s all I can say. Does anyone else have anything to add before I head out?
Teri: I think that’s all, officer. We’ll call if we think of anything.
Officer Greer: I usually have to be the one to tell people that but you got me covered. That’s great!
Officer Greer leaves and Betty closes the door.
Betty: What the heck is going on?
Jerry: I’d say it’s pretty clear. Someone, at the very least, abducted Darla.
Betty: But how could that happen here? In our neighborhood? In our town?
Frank: Statistically, nowhere is ever safe from violent crime.
Ralph: Not even boring white-bread suburbs like here!
Betty: Nothing like this has ever happened!
Teri: Remember the time that lady drowned in the lake? Front-page news for a month!
Danielle: Back in Bensonhurst, they just called that Tuesday.
Tammi: We’re not thinking of the bigger picture. Darla is missing, maybe dead. She’s a real person, with real feelings and real people who care for her. This is devastating!
Betty: Of course it’s devastating, but it’s also scary. What if it’s someone targeting the community? She lives right down the road from us! No one is safe!
Karl: Honey, no one is going to try anything on anyone in this house.
Betty: How can you be sure?
Karl: Nothing is guaranteed in life, but I’m almost certain that we’re in no danger. I don’t think someone that’s randomly hitting houses would abduct someone and then come back to the same neighborhood for more victims. This was a targeted attack on her.
Velma: Plus, if it was random, they probably watched her house and knew she lived alone. We have enough people in this house to fill up a baseball team roster.
Karl: That’s another good point. Betty, we’re fine.
Tammi: What we need to do is stay calm and assist the police in their search. Maybe put up some missing posters. Whatever could help them find her.
Danielle: Maybe we can talk to her family and see what they want. I don’t feel comfortable putting up missing posters without their knowledge and consent.
Tammi: That’s a good point.
Teri: So, uh, should I stop baking cookies? Is it not appropriate to be baking right now?
Cindy: Keep baking, they can provide us a bit of needed joy.
Ralph: We haven’t had Teri’s cookies, it’s a little early to assume they’ll give any of us “joy.”
Teri: I’ll make sure to spit in yours, my loving brother.
The next day, when Cindy returns home from work…
Cindy: Any news?
Jerry: News other than your mother being too afraid to show up for work today? Nope, nothing else.
Tammi: You’re forgetting something, dad.
Jerry: Oh…
Cindy: What happened?
Jerry: We have to go to an HOA meeting tonight.
Cindy: Tonight? Law & Order is on tonight! Sam Waterston! I can’t miss it!
Tammi: It’s at six.
Cindy: That’s only two and a half hours away. Will we be done with dinner in time?
Teri: I’m working on that!
Cindy: So, no. Guess we can eat when we get home?
Teri: I will be done with this by four. We’ll be done and cleaned up by five, we’re good.
Cindy: If you insist. Now, how has mom been today?
Ralph: Awful. She’s still so scared, ever since the news reported that they found bloodstains at Darla’s.
Cindy: God, that poor woman. Darla, I mean. Not mom, She is overreacting.
Betty: I’m fine! I’m just upset over the tragic events in our own backyard.
Velma: So you’re going to the HOA meeting?
Betty: Of course, I want to be filled in on everything.
Frank: Even if that means seeing Anita?
Betty: Shut up, Frank.
At the HOA meeting…
Anita: I am so thrilled to see our entire community show up for tonight’s meeting. We’re all aware of the tragic developments on Burnett Avenue, and it is my duty to inform you of everything we’ve learned from the police. I’m open for any questions for the community, as I know we are all shaken by this. I will start by saying that the police have made it clear that this is very much an active investigation and therefore they can’t tell us too much. However, I will tell you what I know. Police say that the disappearance occurred in the nine o’clock AM hour yesterday morning. There were signs of struggle, a violent one. Darla was expected at her job at eleven, and her mom Jeannie was picking her up because Darla’s car was in the repair shop. Police are certain that Darla did not disappear by her own volition. They don’t believe members of our neighborhood to be in any imminent danger, and they are asking any of us to report suspicious activity in the neighborhood in the time leading up to this tragic disappearance. Does anyone here have anything to add to the conversation? Questions, concerns, potential evidence, whatever.
Olivia Sullivan: Anita?
Anita: Yes, Olivia.
Olivia: I heard a loud crash in the direction of Darla’s house at the time of the disappearance. I ignored it then but I realize now that it was likely when she was taken out of the house. I told this to the police, I don’t think they’ve made it public.
Anita: Thank you for that information.
Betty: I have a question.
Anita: Ah, Betty.
Betty: My nephew saw a salesman in the neighborhood in the days before Darla disappeared. Did anyone else see him?
Anita: Anyone else?
Shelby Barden: I saw a man, yes. He didn’t seem suspicious to me.
Annie Van Hollen: I did as well and I concur.
Mitchell: For the record, I also didn’t think he was suspicious. Just throwing any theories out there.
Anita: And we do appreciate it. Anyone else have questions?
Tammi: I do.
Anita: Well, the Bellwoods sure seem to have a lot to add today. Some things never change.
Tammi: This is a question and also a suggestion.
Anita: I’ll allow it.
Tammi: Does anyone have Jeannie Cornwall’s contact information? I wanted to ask for put up missing posters for Darla.
Anita: Um, I think I have it.
Olivia: I have it for sure, I’ll get it to you.
Tammi: Thank you!
Thirty minutes later…
Anita: If that’s all the questions we have, this meeting can be adjourned. Thank you all again for coming out. I think I speak on behalf of the entire community when I say that we are all praying for Darla’s safe and fast return home. We’re going to do out party to ensure that happens. Search and rescue volunteer signups can be done via my office or by calling the Lakey PD. Goodnight, everybody.
At home, that night…
Betty: You know things are dire when even Anita puts aside her nonsense and acts like a normal human being.
Ralph: It was almost frightening to see the two of you not want to rip each others’ heads off. It didn’t feel natural.
Jerry: This entire situation feels like we’re living in The Twilight Zone.
Karl: And we were only her neighbors. Imagine how her poor family feels.
Jerry: I don’t even want to begin imagining.
Danielle: Does anyone want to go with Velma and I on Saturday?
Mitchell: Where are you going on Saturday? Velma tells me nothing.
Velma: We’re joining the search party. It’s probably too much physical effort for you, though.
Mitchell: That feels like the morally-correct thing to do. I’ll go.
Velma: Well, color me surprised.
Ralph: This has shocked us so much that it’s made Anita nice and Mitchell into someone who volunteers to work without pay! Maybe God is real.
Jerry: He finally sees the light! Hallelujah!
Teri: Today has been stressful. Who wants cookies?
Frank: I’ll take one.
Teri: I wasn’t asking you.
Frank: But you -
Teri: I was asking everyone but you. That should always be inferred when I ask something out loud.
Ralph: It’s good to see that some people aren’t allowing this to change their personalities.
Danielle: I think it’s just amplified Betty’s… uh…
Velma: Betty-ness.
Danielle: Yeah, we’ll go with that.
Betty: What if Carissa Moonley did it? Darla beat her in the gardening contest last spring. I beat her, too. What if I’m next?
Danielle: I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one in the house the watched season two of Why Women Kill.
Betty: Season two of what?
Karl: Betty, it wasn’t Carissa. For starters, how would Carissa have the power to carry Darla out of her house without being caught?
Betty: I don’t know, that’s for the police to figure out!
Frank: I feel like we’re in an episode of Dateline.
Mitchell: Can we all stop comparing this situation to shows that I don’t watch? I’m so lost.
Velma: When aren’t you?
Mitchell: That was hateful.
Velma: You say that every time.
Mitchell: Because you’re hateful every time!
Teri: Ah, good to see love is still alive and well.
The next day…
Tammi: I have news, everybody!
Jerry: I hesitate to ask based on recent history, but what’s the news?
Tammi: I just spoke to Jeannie Cornwall and offered her our best wishes. She also gave me permission to print out and hang missing posters around town for Darla. Who wants to go with me to hang them?
Karl: I think your grandmother and I would like to go. Right, Betty?
Teri: Mom? She’s too scared to leave the house to go to work, let alone to involve herself in this.
Danielle: She went to the HOA meeting.
Teri: Don’t argue with me, I’m not the illogical one here.
Betty: I’m not being illogical! I’ll go hang posters, it’s the least I can do.
Danielle: I think it’s great that we’re all stepping up to help. We’re using our free time for good.
Jerry: Unlike usual, when we use our free time to watch the same show set in Chicago for like three hours straight.
Danielle: Chicago Med, Chicago Fire and Chicago PD are all very different shows. Do not insult them!
Jerry: If you insist.
Tammi: What time is it?
Jerry: Too early for us to all be home from work already. Seriously, what are we doing here?
Teri: We don’ work hard for the money. Donna Summer would be so disappointed in all of us.
Karl: It’s three o’clock, Tammi.
Tammi: Thank you for the actual answer, grandpa.
Karl: No problem.
Tammi: I’m going to run and get these posters printed. Do you want to go put some up tonight or wait until tomorrow?
Karl: I think we should do it tomorrow. Your gr-
Betty: I’m not goring out in the dark! No way! that’s when they get you!
Karl: That’s about what I was going to say. Smarter to do it in the daylight.
Teri: Dad, is this your way of admitting you’re scared about this, too?
Karl: I’m not saying that I think someone’s coming for us, but I certainly am not about to drive around town in the dark when there’s a kidnapper and potential murderer on the loose. I’m not an idiot.
Teri: You’re right. There’s only room for one idiot in this house.
Frank: She’s gonna say me.
Teri: No, you idiot. I was going to say Mitchell!
Mitchell: Hey!
Teri: Just kidding, I meant Frank.
Frank: Hey!
What did you think of this episode Our House? Let us know in the comments and make sure to return for a new episode next week!
