Marietta Season 2, Episode 19
Fair-Weather Friend
At Martin and Patty Lynn’s…
Marietta: Thank you for inviting me over for dinner, guys. It’s been hard to be alone this past week. Tammy’s been helping me out by staying overnight with me but it’s nice to get out of the house too.
Patty Lynn: We’re happy to help. I know you've been struggling with the divorce.
Kathleen: Yeah, we can see because we have eyes. And noses.
Marietta: Is it really that bad?
Kathleen: It’s not good. Just try a bit of deodorant dear, it’s not that hard.
Marietta: I have deodorant on.
Kathleen: Oh no.
Tammy: I’ll get her in the shower tomorrow, I promise.
Kathleen: That sounds like a plan!
Martin: I hope everyone’s enjoying the meal. Kathleen spent all day on it.
Kathleen: I wouldn’t say all day. Just eight hours.
Marietta: You spent eight hours on a dinner for me? I’m tou-
Patty Lynn: Look away, look away!
Marietta: What is that?
The entire family stares at the TV, where the local news chyron states “Mayor Landfield Seeking Divorce.”
Marietta: How did they find out? I had the divorce record sealed so no one would find out. I’m not ready to talk about it.
Tammy: Maybe someone heard us talking about it when we were at the cafe?
Marietta: We weren’t the loud and you know how loud it is in there. I doubt it.
Tammy: There’s not much we can do about it right now. Everyone knows now. We can deal with this tomorrow, let’s keep eating and try to have a fun time.
Marietta: I guess you make a good point. Though, between this and the controversy with Chief Williamson, I’m not exactly making re-election easier.
Kathleen: You know, I was a twice-divorced twenty-nine-year-old mother of three in the seventies when I ran for Congress and I got elected four times. In Arkansas. Of course, Reagan had to come and ruin everything though I guess Carter has to take some of the blame. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that this isn’t something people really care that much about. You’re going to be just fine. Just enjoy the étouffée and think about politics tomorrow.
Patty Lynn: Marietta, I don’t think people are going to be talking about your divorce tomorrow.
Marietta: You’re just trying to be nice. I appreciate it but -
Milton: No, look at the TV.
Marietta: Really? Now? Another hurricane? It’s May!
Patty Lynn: It has such a pretty name, though.
Marietta: Hurricane Alanna doesn’t sound that terrifying, I feel like they make people feel more comfortable when they give them names like that.
Tammy: They say it’s supposed to hit in three days. We have time to formulate a response to it.
Milton: Oh, look at Tammy! She’s been here a year and a half and she thinks she’s a hurricane expert. You’re actually right in this case though. I’ll just keep drinking. I’m doing it a lot today.
Tammy: I’m not quite sure what any of that is supposed to mean but clearly you’re going through something.
Patty Lynn: He got some internal polling today in the special election. He’s behind two points.
Milton: That’s still in the margin of error, I will get through this.
Marietta: It’s not stopping you from drinking like a fish, though!
Milton: I’m not drinking because I’m behind, I’m drinking because I’m going to have to cancel campaign events because of this hurricane. It’s not like I have many weekdays I can use to campaign and I’m about to lose an entire week.
Marietta: Ah, well. That’s a shame. All our lives are a mess. Except you dad, you’re still going strong.
Patty Lynn: Excuse me. I’m applying to be on Bake Your Heart Out. Things are only going up for me.
Marietta: Alright, you too mom. Your life’s great.
The next day, at city hall…
Amy: Marietta, I’m so sorry. I saw the report last night and-
Marietta: Amy, I need coffee. It’s early on a Sunday morning, just give me a few minutes.
Amy: Alright, I will. But I really do need to talk to you.
Marietta: After coffee. Give me like a half-hour. It’s seven-thirty.
Amy: Marietta it’s nine o’clock.
Marietta: I need a new alarm clock.
In Marietta’s office, ten minutes later…
Tammy: I bring unfortunate news.
Marietta: What could possibly be more unfortunate than the entirety of the past week? Is there an earthquake coming?
Tammy: No, not quite.
Marietta: Did uncle Elroy die? Poor Eliza.
Tammy: What? No. I found out who leaked to the press about your divorce.
Marietta: How’d you do that? And why is it unfortunate?
Tammy: The identity of the person is pretty upsetting.
Marietta: Tammy, unless it was my mother I can take it. Oh god, was it my mother? She might have accidentally called the Times-Picayune when she meant to call Eliza.
Tammy: It’s not your mother. It’s Amy’s assistant Samantha.
Marietta: Get her in here.
Tammy: I don’t have her number.
Marietta: No, not Samantha. I’ll be calling the authorities on her. Amy. Get her in here and close the door behind her.
Tammy: Oh boy.
Marietta: Yes, oh boy.
Tammy retrieves Amy and closes the door to Marietta’s office.
Marietta: I don’t know if you know why you’re in here today.
Amy: I do.
Marietta: Amy I really came to like you over these past months, you turned out to be a great hire and a great ally. But this is unforgivable. You knew how important it was for me to hide this from the public right now because I’m not ready to talk about it. And the assistant that you didn’t vet properly leaked it to the press. How did that even happen?
Amy: That’s what I was trying to tall you earlier. I saw Samantha in the office yesterday when I stopped in to pick up a document. She was looking over old footage of our conversations. She tapped into my computer and had it record everything.
Marietta: This shouldn’t have been allowed to happen.
Amy: I totally agree! It was wrong for this to come out without your consent.
Marietta: I don’t think you’re getting it. You’re fired, Amy.
Amy: I’m what?
Marietta: Fired. You’re fired. How did you not see this coming?
Amy: I didn’t do it. Please, this is the best group of people I’ve ever worked with.
Marietta: You’re done, Amy. I wish it could be different than this, but it can’t be. You’re not my press secretary anymore. You’re not my anything anymore.
Amy: Oh come on, we can at least still be friends.
Marietta: I can't be friends with someone I can’t trust. I wish you the best in life. Clear out your things before you go and leave your keys.
Amy: Well, I can’t argue with you I guess. I can only say I’m sorry. Good luck, Madam Mayor.
Amy leaves Marietta’s office. Tammy walks in to comfort Marietta.
Marietta: What are we gonna do? A hurricane’s about to hit and I don’t have a press secretary. Or anything to brief the press on which is what I came in so early today to work on but now I have no motivation to do anything.
Tammy: I’ll do it. I already called your aunt, she was talking about her days in politics last night and I figured she’d like to get back in politics for a little to serve as interim press secretary while we look for a new one
Marietta: You knew I was firing Amy?
Tammy: You telling me to close the door after I brought her in… did not exactly inspire confidence in me that Amy would still be here later today to play that game of bridge that we planned to play.
Marietta: So Kathleen’s going to be my new press secretary?
Tammy: Yes, she said she was happy to help.
Marietta: What would I do without you?
Tammy: You’d probably be a one-term senator because I directed those campaign committee funds to your re-election campaign when everyone else thought you were a goner. You also probably would’ve been impeached as mayor because let’s be honest you’re in way over your head some days.
Marietta: You don’t have to tell me twice. I’m a disaster alone but together we just work.
Thirty minutes later…
Kathleen: No need to fear, auntie is here!
Marietta: Aunt Kathleen, you got here so quickly!
Kathleen: I don’t have many other opportunities to jump back into my first love - politics. I’m 75 years old! It’s not like I can run for any office. So this is a nice way to quench my thirst for politics. Now, what am I supposed to be doing here?
Marietta: Well, Amy was the Press Secretary officially, but she also helped with speechwriting and social media. So I guess you can do that.
Kathleen: Hahaha! That’s a good one! Me on social media?
Marietta: You can do the other things then. Tammy can manage social media until we can get new hires in here.
Kathleen: Alright, sounds good enough. Now, second question. What exactly are we doing in here on a Sunday?
Marietta: Did… did you forget about the hurricane already?
Kathleen: No, not at all.
Tammy: You did, didn’t you.
Kathleen: Yes.
Marietta: Okay, uh, go turn on the news, listen to some reports, and then we’ll write the press conference and get you prepared for the press to ask you questions.
Kathleen: Sounds like a plan!
That night, at Martin and Patty Lynn’s…
Marietta: I have to say, mom, in this particular instance I’m glad you were incredibly clingy and asked us to all stay over here to ride out the hurricane.
Patty Lynn: Of course I did! I want to know that my kids and my Tammy are safe.
Milton: It isn’t supposed to hit for a few days yet, we didn’t have to stay over quite yet.
Patty Lynn: You know hurricanes, they really can hit at any moment.
Martin: Those are earthquakes, dear.
Patty Lynn: Well hurricanes are unpredictable too!
Martin: Yes, yes they are. It’s good we asked the kids to stay over now. It could hit at any moment.
Milton: But dad, that’s not -
Martin: It’s true because your mother said it is. Now eat your dinner.
Tammy: It’s very good, Patty Lynn.
Patty Lynn: I made cake too!
Kathleen: I got a new job today in case anyone cares!
Martin: I saw you on TV, you were great! It was weird to see “Kathleen Landfield-Jarvitz - Interim Press Secretary” on the screen but it made me very proud.
Kathleen: You always were the accomplished one, it means a lot to hear you say that.
Marietta: I just realized my son isn’t here. A hurricane’s hitting and we’re all taking shelter together and we all forgot to invite my son, his wife and their new child. Am I a terrible mother?
Milton: Maybe. Probably. I don’t know. I only see my daughter for like an hour a week except in the summer, I’m probably a worse parent than you if that makes you feel any better.
Marietta: Oh come on!
Martin: What happened now?
Patty Lynn: Is the hurricane here? Take cover!
Marietta: Look at the TV!
Milton: Surely we would get a clue and turn this off during dinner.
Marietta: Is the media really about to attack me for getting a new press secretary?
Kathleen: Well, speaking as the new press secretary, I maybe understand the criticism. A lot’s going wrong for you lately and suddenly you have a new press secretary, it just paints a clearer picture of behind-the-scenes turmoil. Of course, they were also being tremendously unfair to you to begin with so I’m not defending them.
Marietta: I know how bad it looks. Everything’s a bit of a mess for me now.
Tammy: There’s also that story about you having Samantha arrested for spying on you and Amy that I now see on the NOAN website. That doesn’t look great for you either.
Marietta: What is going right for me right now?
Patty Lynn: I made cake! It’s going to be delicious!
The next day…
Milton: Marietta, your phone’s ringing.
Marietta: Can’t people see I’m trying to watch this new Ryan Murphy show? Let me be in peace, I’m sad!
Milton: Just… pick up the phone. It’s Moira.
Marietta: Why is Councilwoman Donnelly calling me? And why do you know her phone number? She’s not in my contacts.
Milton: Oh, uh, no reason.
Marietta answers the phone.
Moira: Marietta! The council is a mess!
Marietta: What else is new? Why are you calling?
Moira: They’re mad at you for firing Amy and they decided to punish you. Having her on your team was the only reason most of them liked you at all and getting rid of them made them very angry.
Marietta: So?
Moira: They installed a new police chief.
Marietta: They what? I have to appoint someone for that!
Moira: Apparently there’s a loophole in the town charter that allows the council to circumvent you and appoint whoever they want. I was the only one opposed to the new appointment but I did what I could.
Marietta: Who is it at least?
Moira: Andrea Thomason. It’s not an ideal choice, she’s got a controversial past and she’s at odds with you on most criminal justice issues.
Marietta: I know who she is. Unfortunately. Thanks for calling, I’ll be awaiting the media blasting tonight!
Marietta hangs up and screams.
Martin: Marietta! Are you okay?
Kathleen: You almost gave me a heart attack!
Patty Lynn: I was putting on makeup.
Milton: Oh god, mom!
Patty Lynn: Is it that bad?
Martin: Your lipstick ran up to your forehead, other than that you’re as beautiful as ever.
Marietta: Anyway, the reason I screamed was that the city council hired a new police chief without speaking with me about it.
Patty Lynn: Oh, they used the old rule from the charter? Sneaky!
Marietta: You knew about it?
Patty Lynn: Of course I did, I was on the council for many years. How could anyone in city government not know about it?
Milton: I didn’t.
Marietta: Neither did I.
Patty Lynn: Oh kids.
Tammy: I didn’t know about it either but in my defense, I’m not from here and I was never the mayor.
Marietta: I’m expecting the news to blast me over this again tonight because apparently, my many failings are bigger news than the impending hurricane that I tried so hard to warn everyone about yesterday.
The next day…
Martin: Girls! Milton! Get in here!
Milton: You think Marietta’s awake? It’s eight-thirty.
Martin: Someone get her up! This is huge!
Marietta stumbles out of bed and down the stairs.
Marietta: What’s going on?
Patty Lynn: No hurricane! I told you they were unpredictable!
Marietta: What? No hurricane?
Milton: I canceled my campaign events for nothing! How lovely!
Tammy: I think this means we don’t need to sleep in the same bed anymore, Marietta! We can go back to the mayor’s mansion!
Marietta: Oh no, we’re staying here for a while. I find this quite comforting actually.
Tammy: Oh, okay.
Marietta: I feel like I should do another press conference. I can do one from right outside. When I call, the press comes running.
Tammy: Let’s not, the last one did not go well.
Kathleen: I thought it was great!
Tammy: You were great. The public reception… wasn’t.
Marietta: Okay, I guess we can just relax. I’m going back to bed for another half hour.
One hour later, when Marietta wakes up…
Marietta: What the hell is that?
Tammy: Guess whose running for city council!
Marietta: No. No…
Tammy: Amy! She hasn’t announced yet but that’s the talk around town and she’s apparently having a press conference on Friday.
Marietta: How quaint. Let’s endorse whoever her primary challenger is.
Kathleen: What if it’s me?
Marietta: What?
Kathleen: I could run!
Marietta: The Landfields aren’t exactly having a great go of it right now. I’m getting divorced and the entire town thinks I fired a police chief for no reason and replaced him with a racist white lady, and Milton’s about to lose his Senate seat.
Milton: Hey!
Kathleen: I think I could do well. I’m well known, I can raise money, I’m the only one that could beat her.
Martin: Think about it for a little. If you want to run, then do it. We Landfields have never been ones to give up on our dreams.
Two hours later…
Marietta: Why do we always have this channel on?
Tammy: I think your mom likes the one anchor. He is pretty cute.
Patty Lynn: I do not like him, I only have eyes for my husband.
Martin: Don’t flatter me, Patty Lynn.
Marietta: Oh look, another news story about me! Get a new schtick, guys!
Tammy: “Landfield Fear-mongering Goes Wrong - Hurricane Heads East!” That’s a fun headline!
Marietta: Am I being blamed for a hurricane not hitting us now? Did they want it to?
Kathleen: I change my mind. I think I’m done with elected office. This is too much.
Marietta: Told you so.
What did you think of the episode? Comment your thoughts, listen to the official season two playlist and vote in the poll below and make sure to read the new episode next week!
