ACE, DEVIN, LORENZO, ROBERT, MANNY, CHARLES, and HARRY are all sitting in the bullpen.
ROBERT
I hope Felix is okay.
MANNY
He just had to have a little meeting with upper management.
DEVIN
What if they fire him?
MANNY
He’d probably love that.
CHARLES
Guys, I think I see him coming back now!
FELIX
Well I have quite the story to tell: I almost had to change my number!
LORENZO
Ugh, that’s happened to me so many times. I keep getting spam text messages from people claiming to be from major companies about wanting to use my name and face for promotional purposes.
FELIX
Alright Lorenzo. First, I’m talking about my uniform number, not my phone number. Second, those are called endorsement deal requests and you really should take some of those. Third, you’re getting endorsement deal requests?
LORENZO
Guess so.
FELIX
Anyways, long story short I’m keeping my number. They started to tell me a new guy wanted the number but then they realized they sounded like complete jerks. Turns out, they do have some consideration for me!
HARRY
Anyone want something from the grill to celebrate Felix’s huge accomplishment? Hamburger? Hot dog?
ROBERT
I’ll have a hot dog. Thanks for the offer!
HARRY
Buns are below the grill. You know how to turn it on.
MANNY
Harry, you made it sound like you were gonna make food! Come on, make Robert his hot dog!
HARRY reluctantly gets up and walks away from the bench and to the grill.
CHARLES
See that guy at the plate? Great hitter.
LORENZO
Would’ve never known.
CHARLES
I know more about this team and ballpark than you’d care to know I’m betting.
LORENZO
Uh huh.
MANNY
He just hit the ball. Guys, I think it’s coming right to me!
MANNY seamlessly catches the home run ball from his seat.
MANNY
YES!!!!!! I GOT A HOME RUN BALL!!!!!!
HARRY
That’s not fair! I was sitting there!
MANNY
You shouldn’t have gotten up then.
HARRY
You made me! Can’t believe I lost a home run ball all because of a stupid hot dog.
The right-fielder overhears the conversation.
RIGHT-FIELDER
Hey that hot dog looks good. Can I have a bite?
HARRY
I guess.
HARRY hands the hot dog to the right-fielder, who takes a bite.
RIGHT-FIELDER
Thanks man.
The RIGHT-FIELDER runs away.
ROBERT
And now I don’t even have my hot dog.
HARRY
You have some of it left. Be grateful. I lost a home run ball for that.
The FIRST BASE UMPIRE jogs over to the bullpen.
FIRST BASE UMPIRE
You guys realize they don’t let bullpen members keep home run balls anymore, right?
MANNY
Luckily, I’m not in the bullpen. I’m the bullpen coach.
FIRST BASE UMPIRE
Just hand over the ball.
MANNY
What? No way!
FIRST BASE UMPIRE
It’s nothing personal. Just league rules.
MANNY
Not happening.
FIRST BASE UMPIRE
I’m afraid there are penalties for arguing with an umpire.
MANNY
If it means I get to keep my home run ball, then it’s worth it.
FELIX
Manny, seriously? You’ve gone this low?
FIRST BASE UMPIRE
Hand over the ball or it’s a suspension.
MANNY
How long?
FIRST BASE UMPIRE
Two weeks.
ROBERT bursts into laughter.
ROBERT
Two WEEKS?!?!
FIRST BASE UMPIRE
Not a funny situation.
LORENZO
Kinda is.
MANNY
See you guys in two weeks!!
MANNY walks away.
HARRY
I should try that some time. Anyways, grill needs to be cleaned if someone wants to get on that.
HARRY walks away.
CHARLES
So just us bullpen pitchers now. Think anyone will pitch?
ROBERT
I think we’ll just be sticking to what we do best: stay here and accidentally entertain the crowd.