DATE: July 11, 1876. The Indianapolis Primates are playing a home game against the Columbus Voyagers. The ballpark is packed, with not one of the 3,000 seats empty nor a spot for anyone else to stand in the bullpen; that is, the area in foul territory where late arrivers gather for a discounted price. Late to the game again include SAMUEL, a railway worker who cheers on the Primates as long as they were winning; ABNER, a shoemaker who only goes to the bullpen for the discount; SALLY, ABNER's wife and a cigar-maker; CHESTER, a printer who took the fall when the Primates' one loss in 1875 made the front page; RALPH, a painter who helped paint the ballpark seats but has no choice but to stand in the bullpen because he is constantly late; and WILLIAM, a factory worker and heavy drinker who makes and loses his money gambling on games. By the time they're all there in the third inning, the Primates are already winning 8-0.
RALPH
What a drab of a game.
WILLIAM
I wish I had bet on this one.
ABNER takes out his wallet and hands WILLIAM a dollar bill.
ABNER
Happy?
WILLIAM's face lights up.
SALLY
Abner, you agreed to lend me that money for the groceries!
ABNER
You have your own money.
WILLIAM
I didn't know I was taking grocery money...
WILLIAM hands the dollar bill to SALLY.
SALLY
Thank you William, that's very considerate of you. If only Abner would treat me half as well as you just did.
ABNER
I treat you well enough, you know that.
SALLY
Are you sure about that?
CHESTER
Alright, alright, that's enough you two. Why don't I just head on out actually. I ought to get ready to start printing the paper anyway. They're running a story on Tilden...well, I shouldn't give it away.
SAMUEL
What's that now?
CHESTER
I didn't say anything. I'll be seeing myself out now.
SAMUEL
No, you said something about Samuel Tilden.
CHESTER
I said nothing of the sort, now carry on. I think the Primates might score another run.
SAMUEL rolls his eyes.
SAMUEL
The Primates have this one sewed up, are you telling me you're running something new on Samuel Tilden? THE Samuel Tilden?
CHESTER pauses.
CHESTER
I cannot confirm or deny that statement but you can find out in the Indianapolis Inquirer soon.
SAMUEL
Well I already know who I'm voting for in this election.
RALPH
What's that supposed to mean, Sammy?
WILLIAM
Are we making bets? How about we each put in fifty cents?
SAMUEL
I'm voting for Tilden, of course.
ABNER
Sammy...why?
WILLIAM
Let me guess, is it because you guys have the same name?
SAMUEL
What? No!
WILLIAM
Why don't you say again who you think should have been this country's first president.
SAMUEL
Sam Adams.
WILLIAM
And who are you still bitter about losing the nominations in 1856 and 1860?
SAMUEL
Sam Houston.
RALPH
So you do just like whoever has the same name as you!
SAMUEL
Purely coincidental, Sam Houston -- I mean, Tilden -- is here to fight corruption. Unlike Rutherford Hayes and all the corrupt cronies.
SAMUEL gets a few dirty looks from visiting Columbus Voyagers fans, who are in support of their governor.
SAMUEL
Maybe they'll stop cutting my wages for once and I'll get some better working conditions.
ABNER
Sam Tilden's a railroad lawyer. He will not have your best interests at heart.
SAMUEL
Oh, you don't know that.
SALLY
I don't know Abner, if I could vote I'd go for Tilden too. I like what he's done in New York.
ABNER
Well you don't have a say, do you?
CHESTER
Samuel...keep your mind open. Get a copy of the paper soon!
SAMUEL
So you want me to vote for the party who got us into an economic depression and got my wages cut?
CHESTER
No...
SAMUEL
Then what's the issue?
CHESTER
That's in tomorrow's paper.
CHESTER walks out as the Primates widen their lead to 11-0. SAMUEL follows, trying but failing to chase him down.
WILLIAM
So are we taking bets on Samuel's vote or not?
ABNER
Clearly not Tilden if he knows what's good for him!
RALPH
Count me out. Anyone want to help me try to claim a seat? Crowd's really starting to empty out...
SALLY
Oh, who wants a good seat for this kind of a game anyway? Maybe another time.